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Comments
assist her
Wow, I can't believe I missed that one
What deal do you get when you get stuff on Fanfiction.net?
Free shipping.
Thumped.
That's... in pretty bad taste, man.
For the record, jokes like that aren't gonna fly, Conductor. I know you hate post-thumping, but I can't leave that there in good conscience.
What fruit can be a great help to you if you're arguing a case in a court of law?
An advocado.
I found this on Reddit:
"I was reading an article about a russian and a czech coming over to the US to go bear hunting. They hadn't been heard from for a few days so the local rangers set out to find them. They found their camp which was ransacked by an infamous mated pair of local grizzly bears who were known to attack humans. The rangers tracked down the female and shot her. Sure enough, they found remains in her stomach...that of the russian. Which of course meant that the czech was in the male."
I guess this goes here.
Only now I realized that Nero (the software) is called that because it burns ROMs.
But the full name of the program is even Nero Burning ROM.
I didn't know that.
On the other hand, the icon should've made it obvious.
A university held an alumni event at which light snacks were served. What material was used as the wrapper for the snacks?
Alum-mini-nom.
What kind of baked good does Alduin hate the most?
Sour Dough-vahkiin
What could you call a TV show about competitive swimming, focusing on medley events?
Different Strokes.
That's not funny. Why am I laughing?
This one time, I was fixing a salad and I spilled some salad dressing. The dressing was this really oily brown kind and it was a pain cleaning it off the tablecloth and with some more wiping the stain just kept spreading. It was really frustrating and I started rubbing it really hard and in my motions exaggerated by anger I accidentally dipped my hair into the still-open bottle of salad dressing.
I guess I let it get to my head.
What's a policeman's favorite civilian car model?
The Ford Torus.
What do you call an evil duck?
Waterfoul.
EPIC WIN: https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/67112_529869837042474_1536223608_n.jpg
If only I had a pair, I could basically cosplay as Gilbert N. Lewis.
I thought about going as Babbage, but I couldn't compute all the details.
I could dress up as Andrew Jackson, but I'd have to let the people decide that.
This one time, a corrupt politician knew that his corruption was about to be discovered. He had gotten a tip that reporters were going to come and talk to him very awkwardly at a particular time.
So he scheduled a press conference for that time, on a completely different topic. He knew reporters were going to ask him about his corruption anyway, but he had a trick up his sleeve--he arranged for masked vigilantes to interrupt the press conference, by holding people at gunpoint and then smokebombing the place. Then the vigilantes would announce a conspiracy theory, and project a video presentation onto the smoke, then leave.
The politician was trying to use a smokescreen.
Inspired by a fad in recent Youtube videos, a guy decided to enter a shopping mall carrying a saxophone, strip naked, and attempt to woo women by playing that famous tune from "Careless Whisper".
The police arrested him for indecent exposure, and added him to the sax offenders registry.
If, as some people say, Kim Jong-Un's rocket launch was meant to provoke the rest of the world, then would that make it prorocketive?
Since we're celebrating the Chinese New Year, I would like to observe that the fireworks industry seems to operate in bursts.
What's M. Bison's favorite animal?
The North America mink (M. vison).
How did the Spanish businessman refuse when he was told he should set up shop just southwest of Washington, D.C.?
"No va".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_whale
Well, that's an odd name.
> Relationship to humans
> Whaling
/me facepalm
There was this person who was fervently and stridently opposed to organ transplants to humans from non-human animals. He felt this was just wrong and disgusting. Then one day he had a heart attack. Doctors trying to save his life had no choice but to give him a pig's heart because human hearts from organ donors were unavailable. Thereafter, his opinion on organ transplants from non-human animals completely changed, as such a transplant had saved his life.
He had a change of heart.