What's a Pirate's Favorite kind of Video Game? (the official IJBM bad puns thread)

Naas_Human

Was the alt text supposed to make me think of the "expand dong" meme?

glennmagusharvey

no

Monsoon

Talk Like a Pirate Day was ages ago, but I'll post my favorite pirate joke ever here anyhow.  Apologies in advance if it's already here somewhere. 

 

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? 

 

You'd think it'd be R, but 'tis the C. 

glennmagusharvey

You're filming a wild animal in its natural habitat, with your GoPro camera.  Suddenly, it eats your camera.  What jus happened?

 

GoProphagia.

glennmagusharvey

&


=

glennmagusharvey

1:32 PM PT: MI-10:
The bell's already ringing in the race to replace GOP Rep. Candice
Miller, who announced her retirement 10 days ago. Republican state Sen.
Phil Pavlov had been salivating at the chance to run for Congress and
just became the first candidate to announce a campaign. Tons of other Republicans are also looking, though, so Pavlov definitely won't be the only dog in this fight.

(source: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/03/16/1370659/-Daily-Kos-Elections-Live-Digest-3-16 )

lrdgck

Sen. Phil Pavlov had been salivating

I see what they did there.

glennmagusharvey

I noticed that and then I quickly realized there was more pun than I was conditioned to expect.

lrdgck

I've got a nice collection to share.

SigurdrifaAnduril

Two flies are in an airing cupboard. Which one is in the army?

The one on the tank.

glennmagusharvey

When DC voted to end the death penalty, Congress became vengeful and cut the district's budget as a measure of capital punishment.

Spoiler:

not actually sure if this ever happened in real life

glennmagusharvey

Usually, after a performance, an orchestra and its conductor would go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant near the venue.

One time, the conductor wasn't available, and while they worked with a soloist who conducted from the piano during the performance, he went home after the performance.  Then the orchestra went to a fancy restaurant, and got kicked out.

They didn't know how to conduct themselves.

glennmagusharvey

is this the reel life
is this just fanta-sea
cod in a landslide
no es-skate from reality

glennmagusharvey

Why is Squid Girl a little girl?

Because she's a penciled squid.

Spoiler:

In taxonomy, the family name for the so-called "pencil squids" is Loliginidae.

Also, "penciled" because she's drawn, which is a secondary meaning regarding anthropomorphizing things as anime girls.

InsanityAddict

In the time of colonialism, we used indigenous tribes to dig for gold and other precious metals. That's why we still call them mine-ore-ties to this day. 

InsanityAddict

Fresh and horrible:

Samuel and Moshe are standing beneath the stocks. They've been found out, they've all been found out: running and ruining the world from behind the scenes could only go well for so long. Ringleaders like the duo are been put to death everywhere across the globe. As the noose is tightened around their necks, Samuel gets philosophical: "You know, considering our constant internecine bickering, our vain habit of bragging about ourselves and our neurotic cowardice, we still did pretty well controlling the fate of humanity for all those centuries."

Moshe groans and chides his partner in conspiracy: "Do you really want to end on a lampshade hanging?"

lrdgck

Reminds me of that drawing with yarmulke-wearing dinosaurs and the caption, "Jewassic Park".

InsanityAddict

If you fear the events in Paris will lead to further polarization, be safe in the knowledge that most of the folks reporting on the events actually use digital cameras. 

glennmagusharvey

InsanityAddict wrote: »

If you fear the events in Paris will lead to further polarization, be safe in the knowledge that most of the folks reporting on the events actually use digital cameras. 

I'll be sure to view this wave of violence through an appropriate lens that does not discriminate based on orientation.

glennmagusharvey

Yohjo Simulator?

moar liek YOLO Simulator amirite

glennmagusharvey

If you make a tumblr post, does it break when you drop it?

lrdgck

What's the opposite of a tumblr post?

Standing still pre

glennmagusharvey

"Let's get this show on the road."

*buy bus tickets*
*sit in the back*
*pull out a DVD player*
*watch a movie while sharing earbuds*

InsanityAddict

What would powers would a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure character based on Gucci Mane have?

A Lemonade Stand.

glennmagusharvey

Is a rebel without a cause a rebel with because?

lrdgck

I wanted to make a mathematical pun based on the similarly sounding cosine function ("cos", geddit?), but I concluded it was too lame even for me. I'm posting about it in hope any of you could make it work.

glennmagusharvey

A protester who's just waving his arms just for the hell of it might be holding a sine but not truly believe in the cos.

InsanityAddict

Gator baiting:

1)Posting material to troll Gamergate.

2)Shiptease of a black pairing. (haha, how un-PC!)

glennmagusharvey

> un-PC

only works on consoles

> material to troll Gamergate

does it bite back???? kaksoispiste viiva dee dee dee dee dee ebin

InsanityAddict

In quotes that actually confirm you're terrible: "If you hear dog-whistle politics in everything, it just means you're a bitch."