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- 2011-01-09 05:54:57
- Last Active
- 2016-10-14 12:09:59
HISTORY>> 1,500 years under par
A.D. 1034-1053: Scottish law allows one to become king by killing the current king, which results in Malcolm II's corpse ruling Scotland for nearly 20 years after he commits suicide.
1587-1596: In one of the longest and bloodiest battles of all time, Mary Queen of Scots is beheaded.
1765: Scotsman James Watt invents the modern day invention-- a useful process, machine, or improvement that did not previously exist.
1776: David Hume, the brilliant Scottish philosopher best known for his thorough and unassailable form of analytical skepticism, is swallowed whole by the loch ness monster.
1996: A Scottish scientist successfully clones a sheep in order to fulfill a lifelong sex fantasy.
England's Noisy Upstairs Neighbor
Throughout its history, Scotland has upheld a long and proud tradition of not being England.
Scotland is still often mistaken for its U.K. counterpart, however, forcing it to take steps to separate England's lack of identity from its own lack of identity.
For instance, in order to distinguish their cuisine from England's bland combination of foods, the Scots began eating sheep's heart, liver, and lungs mixed with oatmeal. Attempting to distance their national sport of England's boring pastime of cricket, they invented golf. In an effort to distinguish their dialect from the affected accent of the english, the scots began speaking louder, and in an even more affected accent.
Deeply ashamed that they were unable to escape international comparisons to overly effete England, the men of Scotland went through identity crisises and all began wearing dresses.
Good news! I think Mark Waid's Daredevil has made me a fan!
Je vois que vous êtes devenu français, mon cher