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General writing discussion.

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Comments

  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    No idea as to the context of this character sheet thing, but I'm pleased as to the relevance of its sections as opposed to what we usually see. So I'll put down a character from a WIP.

    Name:     Sir Bacchus (joking nicknamed "([Knightlord] Butch Brutal" by the men he leads)

    Physical Appereance: Shortish, dark hair. Pale skin. Beard. Broad-shouldered and large, but not outstandingly so. Stands at about six feet tall. Not quite middle-aged, but somewhere in the 30s.

    Conflict he faces: (Internal) Ambition against rules.

    Perspective: Limitations protect the flawed establishment; a new order is required to establish a meritocracy.

    Attitude/Personality: Quiet, forceful, stubborn, diplomatic.

    Change: Doesn't; he's a villain, and a warning against extremist views of any kind. Even if they seem noble.

    Further Context: A knight of an exclusive order privy to secret knowledge; flees his order and uses said knowledge to raise an army.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    D: Juan, You forgot my other character
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I did. Cuz I'm lazy. :D

    And making a channel. >_>

    BRB helping an IRC server give birth.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    Don't forget me! Unless your one comment was all you had to say, which I doubt. I also messed around with it a bit.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    No one but Schitzo read my writing  :<
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    ...Guess nobody knows how to write an effective insane character
  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    ^^, ^ Sorry. I have lots of stuff to do, and I don't know if my feedback would be worthwhile.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    >> I don't know if my feedback would be worthwhile.

    That's why I haven't really been giving feedback much in this thread. I'm mostly new to writing stuff that I actually want to write.
  • WaltzyWaltzy
    /threadhop

    Sci-fi erotica is fun to write~. <3
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Not that I can speak from experience, but I'd imagine so.
  • WaltzyWaltzy
    One would think I'd have tried it sooner, what with my girlboner for robots. XD It's surprisingly a nice medium.
  • LiszteningLisztening
    Erudite Meathead
    So you've got started on that one crossover I see. 8D I knew you would do well with that idea as you always do with others.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    I'll try and get your second chapter soon, Forzare.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Icasari:

    It depends on what kind of insane. What's the mood of your work?
  • WaltzyWaltzy
    edited 2011-09-19 14:55:21
    ^^^ D'awww sweetie~. >////<

    It is super fun, I can't wait to show you later.
  • AHRAHR
    Want to write story.

    Must write essay.

    :<
  • WaltzyWaltzy
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-09-19 15:10:20
    They're somethin' else.
    @ Foraze

    I like your dialogue A LOT. Again, try and cut down the redundancy a little. I especially liked "... why are you humming ride of the Valkyries?" If you take out the detail that he was humming under his breath a few sentences prior, it'll make for a pretty hilarious non sequitor.

    @Icasari cont.:

    Question: what sets off your character? Also: I find it rather ironic that Order is going batshit crazy. That sounds like Chaos' job. Is that intentional?

    Digressing:

    I try to give as much feedback as I can, since I hate it when my stuff goes unread too. Give and take, not take and take, y'know?
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-09-19 16:07:33
    No rainbow star
    Schitzo: Very intended that Order is the one not all there. The universe (game, webcomic, or otherwise) has to with balancing everything and what happens if you don't balance things as a main theme

    Her family tends to be a trigger. Afer the betrayal, her main goal is to destroy them all before getting back to destroying the universe
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    You should have things remind her of her family that send her on a screaming rage. Small things, be it objects in the background, or occurances.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Once I finish writing the basic details of Demonos, I think I'll type up short, one paragraph bios of the five main Characters in Assholes Get All the Bitches--Richard, Jack, Jennifer, Mia, and Gae.

    Afterwards, I'll post it and let you guys critique my characters. Anyone interested?
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Bring it on!
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I feel like writing something sad, that has a sad ending.

    A first for me.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    DO IT FGT
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    @Schitzo: 
    I like your dialogue A LOT.
    Thanks, I kind of feel like dialogue is my best area right now.

    Again, try and cut down the redundancy a
    little. I especially liked "... why are you humming ride of the
    Valkyries?" If you take out the detail that he was humming under his
    breath a few sentences prior, it'll make for a pretty hilarious non
    sequitor.
    Done.  I just uploaded edited versions of the first two chapters, trying to cut out redundancy, fixing some typos, and reworking a phrase here and there.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Schitzo: Sure:

    Richard Amare: The main character of this story. Originally, his family's last name was  Love", but his parents are Latin-lovers and changed the Family Name to "Amare" for no reason. Richard is an avid gamer and loves anime/manga. He is filled with sarcastic remarks, and besides Jennifer, is pretty much the only sane person in Thompsonville High. All he wants is to get good grades and snag Jennifer's Heart, but if everyone else keeps causing trouble.....

    Jack Amare: Richard's idiot brother. Has pink, long hair, to the point of being mistaken for a girl sometimes. He is actually rather intelligent, but is a ditz to the highest degree. He is always causing trouble for everyone else, but he means well. He is a gamer and an Otaku just like his brother, and they'd never abandon each other for anything. Is gay, but you'd never guess. Wants to get good grades and get a boyfriend.

    Jennifer Bulg: A Pizza Delivery Girl. Jennifer is pretty much the only sane person in Thompsonville High besides Richard. She is more optimistic than him, however. Has a rather healthy sexual appetite. Wants to get good grades. She likes Richard, but she'd never admit it. Has a somewhat submissive personality, though if pushed she can be cunning to the highest degree.

    Mia Amare: Jack and Richard's older sister, of 21 years. She is a genius. And when I say "genius", I mean "GENIUS". She is so highly intelligent that it's almost absurd, having a 3.9 GPA throughout her entire High School year, and currently has a 4.0 GPA in college, studying Theoretical Physics. However, this makes her so arrogant that she believes herself to be the most intelligent person to ever exist. She will also remind you of this every single time she can. She has no friends, as it can be hard to befriend someone who constantly says "I am better than you ever will be, and I am and will be better than any human that has every existed in this world" every second.

    Gae: A girl who latches on to Richard soon after they meet. She, for absolutely no reason, dresses up in a maid outfit the next day. Turns out that Richard's parents, being batshit insane, hired her to work as his maid. Yes, his maid. She goes to school with him, usually fixing the various problems that come around. Is somewhat submissive, and follows Richard's commands to the letter, though he is sometimes creeped out by this. Who exactly is she? And why does she willingly let herself live this life of subservience? Richard is interested to find out....
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Hmm...

    Not bad so far, but I'd like to know the relevance of all these submissive personality types.

    Also, Mia sounds very exaggerated and hard to believe. 2Dimensional, unless thats the point.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    Dammit, I can't find the time to actually write anything. Not even an outline for my most recent (and most mundane) idea. Yes, even more mundane than that teen drama I wanted to do, and will probably still do more on at some point.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    I'm doing one too, actually. A pretty fucked up one in fact XD
  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    I don't think mine is as fucked up as yours was going to be (at least, if it's related to that one sample I read of yours), but one of the final scenes, at least, is pretty unconventionally violent. Or at least, I've never heard of anything quite like it. And I'm not sure how feasible it actually is as a torture method, let alone one that can be executed by a teenager. Plus the main motif of the story is that most of the characters are horrible people and the main character is only hurting herself by trying to reconcile everyone's issues for them.
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