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General writing discussion.

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Comments

  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    Depends on what you mean by smart

    And what sorts of drawbacks does he have?
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    I mean "smart" as in "gets good grades in most of his classes".

    He's also supposed to be one of the more sane people of the cast. But, he's:

    - Slightly arrogant about being one of more normal people in the cast

    - Dishonest at times (He does a service with Jack where people "order" manga/anime/games and provide the needed money--he and Jack then go to the local nerd store and buy these things and deliver them to the people who ordered. However, he has a tendency to "pocket" a few for himself and lie that the store didn't have them. One chapter deals with him getting caught, though).

    - Judgmental; he tends to view people with a skeptical eye and judge them from their exterior traits

    - Brutally honest.....to the point of saying what he really thinks even when it will cause conflict

    - Somewhat lazy (he doesn't actually have good grades because he never turns work in)

    - Completely indifferent to other people's problems, but when something affects him, he makes a ridiculously huge deal out of it.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I might have some case by case script formatting issues that come up as I write my three planned scripts over the next year.

    Could someone be kind of a helpful person who knows about script formatting and answer my questions when they come up?
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    Sounds good Chagen. He has flaws that seem to balance out his traits nicely
  • AHRAHR
    All my characters are sues/stus. The tests tell me so. :D
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    The test say my character is -1. I don't think that's good either.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I'm glad I finally decided what three scripts I have decided to write this year.

    It feels good to have a plan.
  • AHRAHR
    Two 79s and 64 or so. Yes.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    Those tests don't work so well on Melody

    OF COURSE SHE'S BROKEN! SHE'S A FUCKING GODDESS!

    >.< I wish there was a test to see if beings that powerful are Mary Sues or not
  • AHRAHR
    My problem is just how much I've planned out in my stories. Past, present, future.

    A lot of things happen, and a lot of things just add up.
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Is this the place to talk about Zork-style interactive fiction? Because I just finished a text adventure for an assignment. I'll post it later, but for now, I need to go do something else for awhile.
  • AHRAHR
    Since I'm apparently not allowed to complain about it in Writer's Block, I will complain about this HERE:

    I want to start the final editing process, but I haven't actually finished my first draft. --grumble--
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-09-24 15:34:26
    No rainbow star
    Is it possible to write a good story that ends with a downer ending but if you read all letters following certain parameters (e.g. All capital letters, all letters at the start of a paragraph) that it creates a final chapter with a happy ending or vice versa?
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Possible? Yes.

    Difficult? Very.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    Guess it would be easiest if you used coloured words as the parameter
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Would anyone mind reading this first scene of my script? It's really short. I just need a bit of feedback.
  • AHRAHR
    Sure thing, dahling.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    PM me sooooooon.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    http://www.scribd.com/doc/66272943/Orange-and-Purple

    If someone would give some feedback on this, I would be quite happy.

    I changed some things, and added a scene.

  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    It thankfully sounds a lot less like a Diablo Cody comedy (though Devil Time still irks me, I can't shoot down EVERY quirky line, so I say let that one stay.) The product placement was great too :)

    I liked the way it went from silly to serious when Karen stares at Gale for a bit.

    I see the first few paragraph as opening credits. Are they?
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I wasn't thinking about opening credits, but I'm sure it would work for them. I would have the title show up when the orange and purple mix together, but that's just me.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Foraze, I just read CH3 of Nil. I feel a bit sorry for Laura for Daniel and Laura's power struggle over who gets to be Holmes and who gets to be Watson. Its all adorable XD

    I like how friendlily creepy the "Europeans" are. I thought Cody's T-Shirt was a bit overblown and exaggerated. Unless that's the point...? If you want something less exaggerated, you might want to try "EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIE" followed by some URL with a silly conspiracy theory domain name"

    Also, the I'm not gay exchange was hilarious.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    The T-shirt thing was supposed to be silly and exaggerated. Should I try to make that more obvious?

    And that exchange was a lot of fun to write.

    The thing I'm worried about right now is that the silliness/fun in Danny's narration pretty much goes away after a few chapters. I mean, it's in character, I think, considering what happens that he stops making amusing comments about stuff, but I kind of miss it.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Shows good development, I think. Don't let it go away completely. Bits and pieces here and there per chapter will do fine.

    What I think you should do is Resident Evil-esque bits of first person smartass observation. Think of the text boxes that spring up during Survival Horror games and how deadpan and obnoxiously obvious they sound.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    Yeah, I think I'm going to try to have it so that once he starts getting used to the sci-fi/horror elements a bit more, he'll start being a bit of a smartass again.

    Cuz at first, it would be out of character to be deadpan, but as time goes by it can come back.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Read part 4. God good did shit ever get real. I love the opening line (Not a joking, "stop poking me" scream.)

    I couldn't understand the "six words" part. Was "what the fuck? what the fuck?!" the words written? please clarify, in the same paragraph, or perhaps in Italics or bold only if on a separate paragraph

    I love how everyone, especially Cody can finally get serious when the situation calls for it.
  • ForzareForzare
    edited 2011-09-25 15:31:46
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    It says what the words were in the next chapter.

    I'm not sure why I thought that it was a good idea to wait. I'll definitely fix that.
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Yeah, I had to look back because I'd forgotten about the words by the time they were mentioned again.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    It's been fixed now.  It says what the words are right when they're brought up instead of at the beginning of the next chapter.
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Incidentally, I just got to the bit about the multiverse. Now this is hardly a problem unique to Nil, but it's really bugged me ever since someone pointed it out to me. "Multiverse" is not a valid word to any extent. "Universe" means "everything that exists." Thus, there cannot be more than one. If something exists outside the observable universe, it just means that the observable universe is not actually the whole universe.

    Again, though, 99.999% of readers won't react like I did, so unless you can think of a really cool term to replace "multiverse," leave it.
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