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General writing discussion.

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Comments

  • AHRAHR
    Oh. Hah. That it is not. If it's not supposed to be long, I'll give it a whirl.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    OK, gotta take off. 

    And yer welcome Schitzo. 
  • AHRAHR
    Name: Nicholas Cuantine

    Physical Appereance: Short, stocky, hooked nose, blond hair that covers eyes.

    Conflict he faces: Man v. Society. Getting rid of his powers.

    Perspective: Err...third person?

    Attitude/Personality (Just use adjetives here): Immature, hotheaded, judgemental, repressive

    Change (As in, how does he change across the story): He grows up. Learns that his attitude was poisonous.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    No one read Nil. :(
  • ViviVivi
    edited 2011-09-18 19:39:29
    $80+ per session
    Name: Caleb

    Physical Appearance: Tall, skinny, short brown hair, pale.

    Conflict he faces: How much stock everyone around him puts in his existence

    Perspective: Reluctant. He knows what he has to do most of the time, he just doesn't feel like it and wants to go home.

    Attitude/Personality (Just use adjectives here): Sarcastic, blunt, careful, artistic

    Change (As in, how does he change across the story): None. It's everything else around him that changes.
  • ChagenChagen
    edited 2011-09-18 18:03:42
    [tɕagɛn]
    Name: Mark Seiser.

    Physical Appereance: Tall, average-weight, orange hair, somewhat skinny

    Conflict he faces: Man vs. self (He's not a normal human and killed his own mother) and Man vs. Man (He's the only person with the ability to punch out a bunch of gods. And he's going to have to do it). 

    Perspective: "I might as well, if no one else will". 
     
    Attitude/Personality (Just use adjetives here): Emotionless, assholish, cunning, efficient

    Change (As in, how does he change across the story): Becomes way less of an asshole and more emotional. And really goddamn good at fighting
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    edited 2011-09-18 13:28:42
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    ^^^It's long and I have homework.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-09-18 17:35:25
    They're somethin' else.
    Name: Ash "Ashley" Heredia

    Physical Appearance: Lanky, messy short hair, Jeans tee shirts and bomber jackets

    Conflict he faces: Legions of bullies and his own penchant for ultraviolence. His crush is taken aback by his frenzied fighting style. Unwittingly creates a fight club that goes out of control in second half of story.

    Perspective: In his words: "One by one or all at once, I'll take you on."

    Attitude/Personality (Just use adjectives here): Hotblooded, Morose, soft-spoken, eloquent

    Change (As in, how does he change across the story): Gains a sense of humor, and becomes less socially awkward as he gains fans and friends.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Bring her here, Forzare.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2953178/1/Nil
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    I've read the first chapter so far. I quite like it. One problem: You can become rather redundant when it comes to pairing your dialogue and descriptions. Such as Mom has this tone of voice she uses when she wants me to do something. It sounds like the way you talk to a little kid."Mom, stop acting like I'm four."

    Or "Stop falling asleep, you narcoleptic." I think for that line, try not to describe her sleeping habits so much (limit it to one or two, or nix the insult) and let the dialogue speak for itself.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    >>I've read the first chapter so far. I quite like it.

    Thanks!

    >>One problem: You can become rather redundant when it comes to pairing your dialogue and descriptions.

    I'll definitely watch out for that in the future. And go back and edit those out.

    >> "Stop falling asleep, you narcoleptic."

    Ew how did I let that through
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    Name: Harthael

    Physical Appereance: Tall, somewhat stocky, scarred face/body, lots of muscle, short hair

    Conflict he faces: Everyone depending on him, leading a company and eventually a battalion, trying to keep his morality

    Perspective: Third person omniscient

    Attitude/Personality: Quiet, withdrawn, awkward, traumatized

    Change (As in, how does he change across the story): He becomes more harsh, more cold, and loses faith in himself and his ability to lead.
  • AHRAHR
    You like the depressing types, huh?
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-09-18 15:45:29
    Yeah. It's a fantasy world combined with WW1 weapons and tactics. Seems fitting.

    There are other characters to. One character starts out incredibly idealistic and kind, and then through a series of events becomes an incredibly harsh soldier, and a tool. Someone who doesn't want to manipulated but doesn't realize he's actively being manipulated. 
  • AHRAHR
    Depends on interpretation. Even a depressing story can have a positive note. Just depends on how you execute it.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-09-18 15:49:15
    Might as well fill out a profile, actually.

    Name: Millian

    Physical Appearance: Tall, gangly, short hair, has a kind of humble handsomeness to him

    Conflict he faces: Being actively manipulated by many forces 

    Perspective: 3rd person omniscient 

    Attitude/Personality (Just use adjectives here): Kind, idealistic, outspoken

    Change (As in, how does he change across the story): Becomes incredibly ruthless, becomes incredibly paranoid towards people who he thinks are manipulating him, starts to see people as objects instead of living, breathing humans

    ^ I'm actually going for somewhat depressing. I think it's only fitting for a WW1 foot soldier.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Good job, everyone. If tihngs go right, I shall transcribe my notes from the weekend IC for everyone to pick at them tonight or tomorrow. 

    Anyway, I like the profiles so far. 

    Also, I think I should add that this whole thing is film oriented,but I think that it can help any writer in any medium, really. You just won't havve to apply the math. 
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    That explains why the premise of the homework is so familiar. I too am a film major.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Okay, in an anime-inspired story, would making a gay character's hair pink be kind of strange.

    Said character is a guy. His hair is pink in a slight-tip off to him being gay. And yes, it is lampshaded as to how coincidental it is.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I don't see why would you do it unless it's a joke I'm not quite understanding (I'm assuming it's a comedy?)
  • AHRAHR
    It's been done.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    It is a comedy.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    It doesn't seem like it would be a particularly funny one, though.
  • AHRAHR
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I should say that something being done does not make it right, but I don't think that's your point. 
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    For: It's not really a joke, I just wanted to have an excuse to give him pink hair.
  • AHRAHR
    edited 2011-09-18 17:01:27
    Then give him pink hair?

    I mean, I once got bullcrap that my water controller had red hair, but I went with it anyway. BECAUSE I COULD.
  • ForzareForzare
    edited 2011-09-18 17:04:14
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    If you just a character to have pink hair, then why does he need to be gay as an excuse?
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    edited 2011-09-18 17:25:48
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Name:Goes by "Tyler."

    Physical Appearance:Tall, thin. Grizzled black hair, which he keeps tied back. Wears a suit.

    Conflict:Obsession with whether he can be considered human.

    Perspective:Wants to be a human, to the point that he lets it hold him back from accomplishing things.

    Attidude:Thoughtful, gloomy, devoted to ideals.

    Change:Eventually realizes that being a good person is more important than whether people label him as human or not.
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