I like my men/women how I like my...

Earl_of_Sandvich

Pretty much, you describe what the above poster's object and the men/women being compared to both have in common.  Double Entendres are entirely optional.

To start things off:

I like my women how I like my cell phone.

Legionnaire

Keep them turned on in your pants long enough and studies indicate they cause damage to what's in your testicles.

I like my women how I like my men.

MillerCross

Hairy as fuck

I like my women how I like my coffee.

Alkthash

Bitter, dark, and possessing the ability to keep me awake for hours on end in a twitchy mess of terror and excitement.

 

I like my women how I like my blowfish.

Legionnaire

Very painful if you touch them in the wrong place.

I like my women how I like my Juans.

MadassAlex

With the capacity to curse at you in multiple languages. 

I like my women how I like my swords. 

DonZabu

Old and German.



I like my women the way I like my bookshelf.

MillerCross

^^ Phallic.

^ Possessing the whole Twilight saga

I like my women how I like my superheroes

MadassAlex

Broken and insane. 

I like my women how I like my books. 

ClockworkUniverse

Fictional.

I like my women how I like my houses.

MillerCross

Pretty spacey

I like my women how I like my chairs.

MadassAlex

Four-legged and weight supporting. 

I like my women how I like my booze. 

Alkthash

^^Wise and terrible and forcing me to tell the truth with by hitting me with their legs, with no guarantee I will leave alive. 

 

^ Able to mix well with everything and still make me thing I'm the goddamn Juggernaut.

I like my women how I like my archery.

Icalasari

Able to kill someone at a good distance

Just to mix it up...

 

I like my men how I like my Minecraft

MadassAlex

^^ Always missing me. 

^ Blocky and unpredictable, but with the capacity to build me a fortress. 

I like my women how I like my games. 

ClockworkUniverse

Two-dimensional.

I like my women how I like my candy.

MadassAlex

As a subjective measure of societal worth. 

I like my women how I like my breakfast. 

Earl_of_Sandvich

Keeps you energized and refreshed in the morning.

I like my women how I like by cat.

Malkavian

indifferent and cruel.

I like my women how I like my alcohol.

Waltzy

Knocking me off my ass.

I like my women how I like my NINJAS. MALK. <

Malkavian

Rare, unseen, and avoiding me.

I like my women how I like my vocaloids.

MillerCross

I like my women how I like my alcohol.

A cure for all external wounds, a catalyser for all internal wounds

I like my women how I like my oxygen.

Open like a big O

I like my women how I like my sleep.

MadassAlex

^^^ Mysterious and of Asian descent. 

^^ Synthetic.

^ Unconscious. 

I like my women how I like my tea. 

Malkavian

Bitter and from India.

I like my women like I like my JRPGs.

MadassAlex

Cute and shallow. 

I like my women how I like my WRPGs. 

Malkavian

Only presenting the illusion of choice.

I like my women like I like my independent comics.

MillerCross

^^ Prone to mood swings and constantly switching orientations.

^Long-winded losers.

I like my women how I like my westerns

Waltzy

Every day is a shoot-out.

I like my men how I like my women.

MillerCross

...non-hairy as fuck, I guess?

i like my women how i like my cigarettes

Malkavian

Sucking being prominently involved.

I like my women like I like my sidekicks.

MadassAlex

^^ Addictive but cancerous. 

^ Endearing and disposable. 

I like my women how I like my mythology.