A Wild Pokémon thread appeared!

Icalasari

^...I'm not seeing your point

Eelektross

pokebestiality

Nyktos

But why is that scarier than regular bestiality?

Eelektross

1. It would be far more widespread, seeing as superpowered animals of varying sentience and power are kind of a big deal no matter where you go.


2. Remember the infamous picture of Misty riding a Starmie?  Yeah, way worse than that. We're talking superpowered animal porn here. There's a world of difference between a dog fucking a girl and a giant psychic alien starfish fucking a girl.

Nyktos

Only because we don't live in a world where giant psychic alien starfish are commonplace.

Eelektross

Only because we don't live in a world where giant psychic alien starfish are commonplace.

The point still stands, though

porn would be ten times more horrifying.

Icalasari

...Still failing to see your point

All Nines

Well, this sure is a fucked-up conversation, huh.

Icalasari

What is?

All Nines

• MonTube.com


• Pokesex.net


• MonWire.net


• PokeSpin.com

I can go on and on

But why is that scarier than regular bestiality?

1. It would be far more widespread, seeing as superpowered animals of varying sentience and power are kind of a big deal no matter where you go.


2. Remember the infamous picture of Misty riding a Starmie?  Yeah, way worse than that. We're talking superpowered animal porn here. There's a world of difference between a dog fucking a girl and a giant psychic alien starfish fucking a girl.

Only because we don't live in a world where giant psychic alien starfish are commonplace.

Eelektross

Well, this sure is a fucked-up conversation, huh.

I know. -_-

Uh, let's think of another aspect of Pokemon being real.

Pokemeat! What Pokemon would be killed and eaten? (BTW this is canon: Cherrim are at least really eaten)

I'm hankerin' for some Slowpoke myself.

Marioguy128

Caught a Deino, and named it Laharl. Evolved it into a Zweilous. Now I have to train it for 14 more levels until it evolves into something useful. Yaaaaaayyyyyy.

Eelektross

^ Don't forget that the Hydreigon line belongs to the Slow experience group.

Have fun!

Eelektross

Guys

what should I name my Gengar?

Icalasari

I caught a Braviary

 

Named him Washington

Super Lazuli

If Pokemon were real I'd be a vegetarian.

Not really thinking I'd enjoy Farfetch'd wings as much as chicken wings.

what should I name my Gengar?

Male: Ammitty
Female: Belle

Eelektross

Not really thinking I'd enjoy Farfetch'd wings as much as chicken wings.

Hey ya never know. Farfetch'd might be good braised in peanut sauce and served with carrots.

mmm...carrots

Super Lazuli

>chicken wings
>peanut sauce

ur doin it rong

Eelektross

Hey, Farfetch'd probably taste more like ducks.

Super Lazuli

I tend to forget that people even eat duck.

ClockworkUniverse

Farfetch'd is actually specifically based on a Japanese legend about a duck that offers itself as food to a starving traveler, so yeah, you can bet that they're eaten.

Super Lazuli

They're mentioned somewhere as being rare due to overhunting, so that's not surprising.

I honestly find it rather strange that people eat Pokemon in canon. I guess it's not that weird objectively speaking, but you get used to seeing them as companions so much that they look weird as a food source.

Eelektross

Hey guys, whaddaya think Lillipups taste like?

I bet back in the day, cowboys used to tell Indian (not the New Delhi kind) folk-tales to each other on the campfire while roastin Lillipups. To this day, maybe even crazy hobos still get some of the ol' Lillipup when they can.

It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. 

I honestly find it rather strange that people eat Pokemon in canon. I guess it's not that weird objectively speaking, but you get used to seeing them as companions so much that they look weird as a food source.

Some people keep pigs as pets, y'know.

Super Lazuli

I know.

Honestly I don't really eat meat aside from chicken, so I guess that probably has something to do with it.

Nyktos

There are chicken Pokemon.

Eelektross

There are chicken Pokemon.

Yeah, but they're rare and probably endangered, so

Saigyouji

Also, they're on fire.

Anyhow, started a blind Nuzlocke of White 2. Haven't done much yet, though. (Met Bianca and caught a Patrat, that's it.)

Icalasari

Another thought on real Pokemon:



Zoroark can make itself look like a human and speak human langauges flawlessly



Couldn't someone end up dating a Zoroark and never know it, assuming that their boy/girlfriend just has issues with being touched (Not sure if its illusion can make even the physical touch of Zoroark feel different or not. Probably, considering attacks like Tickle should otherwise dispell Illusion if Zoroark was, say, a Wailord. "...Did my Pokemon just melt into that Wailord to tickle it?")

707ruz

According to Bulbapedia

Illusion is broken—causing the user to appear as their true species—when the user is damaged directly by an attack or when changed to Mummy via Mummy. As such, it is not broken by secondary effects such as the HP loss caused by Substitute, Life Orb, weather conditions, status ailments, entry hazards, recoil, etc.

So as long as you don't actually do damage to the Zoroark, it could potentially look human forever. All it would take would be damage caused by another living being to take it out of its illusion.

Icalasari

According to that, since things like Stealth Rocks doesn't break it, then even getting into a fist fight with an average human would do shit to the illusion (I'd imagine a martial artist could probably do Pokemon-style damage)



So that would be interesting



Heck, remember the legend in Sinnoh that states humans are Pokemon that took off the skin?



What if that's backwards?



What if humans are Pokemon that left on the skin - Zoroark that used Illusion - and eventually forgot the illusion altogether, eventually gaining a mutated form of Illusion that locked them into the human shape even in the womb?



In short, WMG humans darwinian evolved from Zoroark