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IJBM - The Text Adventure (Now NSFW!)

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Comments

  • BobBob
    >yell at your legs for being so incompetent, threaten to murder them and their families
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    >Check to see if wearing trousers.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-09-05 17:55:10
    No rainbow star
    >"...Ok, are you SURE you aren't high?"

    >The man comes in and removes the spell on your legs. "Good, you're up. Now here are the pictures of the men. They are on the floor above"

    >You are wearing jeans
  • ForzareForzare
    edited 2011-09-05 18:05:21
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    >remove jeans

    >go upstairs
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    >You remove your jeans and go upstairs, sexy mouse still equipped
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    >go to men
  • BobBob
    >shout your battle cry, which turns out to be something so incredibly stupid and un-intimidating that your only hope is that the men laugh so hard at it that they forget to attack
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    >You attack the men. They are too distracted by your pantslessness to react
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    >KILL. FUCKING. EVERYTHING
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-09-05 18:11:17
    No rainbow star
    >The only survivors in the room are you and the mouse. Even their catgirl whores didn't survive
  • BobBob
    >Make new clothing from their remains (intestine scarf, tooth necklace, skin pants, hair belt, nail bracelet, etc.)
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    >Cry over the loss of catgirl whores
  • BobBob
    >eat the bodies of the catgirl whores
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-09-05 18:19:18
    No rainbow star
    >You make the clothes then begin to cry. The mouse squirms some, freaked out. She sort of looks like a cat girl if you squint

    >Crying, you begin to consume the catgirls
  • ForzareForzare
    edited 2011-09-05 18:19:20
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    >make mouse into hat
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    >You place the mouse on your head. Closest you'll get to a hat without being beaten up by the mouse
  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    >Victory pose
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    >get yo' money
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    >You do a victory pose before going to get your money. He has the lizardmen hookers and the 10k coins ready for you
  • BobBob
    >declare that walking is for losers, have the lizardmen carry you everywhere from now on

    >go back to the shops
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    >eat the lizardmen, as they are yummy
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    >You eat the lizardmen as they carry you. They scream and run off. The man leaves the room and locks you in, freaked out by your new attire
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    > Try to rotate your fists to drill through the walls!
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-09-05 18:36:24
    No rainbow star
    >You unfortunately cannot do that. The mouse tries to sneak away
  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    >Punch walls and tear them down
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    > Attempt to 'Drill fist' the mouse. (In a non sexual way.)
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    >You nearly break your hands trying to break down the wall

    >Atracking the mouse ends up with you injured
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    >Lie and claim you were trying to drill first in a sexual way.
  • BobBob
    >cry

    >MENTAL BREAKDOWN

    >hallucinate
  • LegionnaireLegionnaire
    >Hack source code

    >Hack in Nanosuit

    >Equip Nanosuit

    >Use Tactical Mode to locate wall's weakspot

    >Maximum Strength

    >Kick the wall
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