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“But if you guys could just let me die would really mean a lot” (laughter) “Just a thought. Just a suggestion. Uh, but seriously though, if you have any say in it, say so. I’ve been alive for too long, man, you don’t need my brain uploaded to some artificial body. I’m outdated, I’m a government approved celebrity now. It’s –just, —game over, man. Just, fuckin’, game over.” (aww) “Okay, maybe I’m not entirely outdated. I mean if I keep seeing the same old song and dance, right?”
“I mean, aren’t you tired of it? When you’re flipping channels, aren’t you tired of hearing about all this rape and murder happening in our neighborhoods? Aren’t you tired of being aware of our government’s backdoor shenanigans? (laughter) In fact, what the fuck, you guys still need a government? (Applause) Ah-ah, let me finish. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m just an undead cyborg stand up comedian, but, look at me. LOOK AT ME. We’ve come THIS far and you still need a bunch of suits to boss you around?” (Applause) “What IS that?!”
“I know I tire of it. Flipping channels, and finding my heroes and my rock stars hocking products, to the songs of my people. Songs of fucking rebellion, man. Reduced to advertisement jingles, and my heroes hocking products from beyond the grave. My heroes, worth twenty dollars on a fucking T shirt. Christ, man. In fact, how many of you are wearing one of my t-shirts right now? By round of applause, lets hear it. (Applause, chanting) … Yeah, fuck you too.” (laughter)
“While we’re on the subject of dead heroes and the people that love them, you think that, maybe, our heroes had to die? That maybe collectively, it was for our own good? Just to keep them sane, just to keep us angry at the status quo? (applause) Shh, shh. I don’t mean to start with the Christ comparisons, but, if you guys love me that much: Kill me. (laughter) Tch, yeah. This jar’s bullet proof glass, a lotta good that’ll do me. “(laughter, applause)
“Seriously, though. How long am I gonna have to save face? How long do I have to keep thanking you all for being here. How long do I have to keep pretending like I give a pit about my sheeple? I-I mean, give a shit (Applause, Laughter, chanting) Ah, who am I kidding, thank you, you’ve been good! THINK DANGEROUSLY, LIVE DANGEROUSLY, WE LOVE YOU, GOOD NIGHT!”
^^ Also, can someone critique, please?
And I wish I could give a good critique, but seeing as how I thought Twilight was well written until about a day after reading it, I may not be the best choice
Any recommendations? My spell system uses seven elements. There are roughly 50 symbols that can be used, but the key ones are Light, Earth, Fire, Water, Wind, Dark, and Illusion (IE the God Element). It works by drawing out the symbol in the air - This influences the life energy used to make the spell, turning it into a different element - A mix is often required for more advanced spells, saying certain words - This influences the specifics of the spell - and singing said words in a certain way - this chooses the style of spell (single target, self, wave, orb, beam, explosion, etc.)
Typically Light is healing, Earth is defensive, Fire is offensive, Water is trickery, Wind is status, and Dark is also offensive, but a more underhanded version (so sort of a cross between water and fire)
My issue is coming up with spells (which is... Yeah. See the Daimos RP for why this is bad). Any suggestions for spells? This is what I have so far:
Spells
Vnvnla Vrdata
-Translation: Orb (of) Fire
A low damage attack, it uses a fire symbol and a quick recant of the key words
--Difficulty: Beginner
--Type: Offense
--Cost: Low
--Symbol: Fire
--Tune: L-L-L-H-H-H
--Duration: Instant
Sautn Mnaut
-Translation: Minor Heal
Repairs scrapes, shallow cuts, and bruises. Uses Light and a calm incantation
--Difficulty: Beginner
--Type: Support
--Cost: Low
--Symbol: Light
--Tune: L-ML-P-ML-M
--Duration: Better healing the longer it is used for
Jtuoo Mnaut Dento
-Translation: Double Jump
Gives the receiver a single mid air boost if they attempt to jump in the air. Uses Wind symbol and a high-low incantation
--Difficulty: Novice
--Type: Support
--Cost: Medium Low
--Symbol: Wind
--Tune: MH-H-H-P-M-MH-P-M-MH-ML
--Duration: Up to an hour to use the second jump
Vnautau Mnaut
-Translation: Little Sight
Robs the target of some of their sight. More energy put into it the longer the effect lasts
--Difficulty: Beginner
--Type: Support
--Cost: Variable
--Symbol: Dark
--Tune: M-M-M-P-M-M
--Duration: Variable
Vledon Mnaut Saita
-Translation: Little Dark Blade
A single sharp edge is formed out of pure darkness
--Difficulty: Novice
--Type: Offensive
--Cost: Low
--Symbol: Dark
--Tune: M-MH-M-ML-L-P-ML-M
--Duration: Up to an hour
Aljr Crnta
-Translation: Deity's Light
It repels dark creatures and soothes the soul while lighting the way
--Difficulty: Master
--Type: Miscellaneous
--Cost: Variable
--Symbol: Light\Life
--Tune: H-M-L-M-M
--Duration: Variable. The strength and duration depends on the energy you put in, however, so you can have a long lasting, low burn, or a short, fast burn that you will have to cut off fast
Thina Vrdata
-Translation: Fire Shield
Creates a wall of flame in front of the caster, blocking spells for the initial burst. Does not block water spells
--Difficulty: Intermediate/Expert
--Type: Fire
--Cost: Average
--Symbol: Fire
--Tune: L-M-M-M-P-M
--Duration: 2 sec. int. burst, up to 5 min. burn
Vnasna Sala
-Translation: Thunder Force
Creates a lightning bolt. The strength of the bolt depends on the energy put in
--Difficulty: Intermediate
--Type: Lightning/Wind
--Cost: Average High min.
--Symbol: Tri Thunder
--Tune: L-M-MH-MH-P-M-MH
--Duration: Instant
Vnctalp Thcaiti
-Translation: Quick Freeze
Creates a cone of cold that freezes the area within it
--Difficulty: Intermediate
--Type: Ice/Water
--Cost: Average
--Symbol: Tri Ice
--Tune: M-HPM-M-P-L
--Duration: 10 sec. freeze
Probably still flimsy, but not as flimsy
She has been a pain to balance and not make a Mary Sue, so a little help?
She was born when a human played Reality's Harp (a trap set up by Order). Things didn't go Order's way and the deity (Humality) ended up influenced by her human 'father', who was a kind man. Due to how the song played works, Humality ended up in a new pantheon, which meant she has the full power of a single pantheon (a pantheon usually has the power split between roughly seven deities). A single pantheon has enough power to rival Order (in fact, one pantheon used her own power against her to seal her way because she is a proud git who sealed the majority of her powers in a harp)
Now humans in Illusoria are slightly different than the ones on Earth. For example, they have sharper hearing and value music. Humality, due to her dual human/god nature, represents balance, with a minor in music due to human influence
She can split into six different forms (splitting her power as well), each representing an emotion and each having a unique instrument
So any issues so far? Some deities have taken multiple roles (Betotter for example is Emotion, Sloth, and Water), but I'm worried Humality is a little too skilled. Any way to limit her power while still letting her rival Order when needed?
Hello. My name is Jack Masters. Welcome
to my rubbish life.
See, I live in the The Big Apple. No,
not the Big Apple you're thinking of. Actually, come to think of it,
it is the Big Apple you're thinking of. It's just not the real Big
Apple. It's the New York City made manifest by collective perceptions
of the city. It's more or less the same, with a few differences here
or there. A few parts of the city look like Vancouver and you're less
likely to go out at night in this Big Apple, but the principle's
basically the same. Dreams can still be made or broken in this
wonderful and heartless town, and it's where many of us Ideas call
home.
As for me, I'm relatively new to town.
I've taken over the family business. I'll do almost anything for a
price. Almost anything. See, it's because I can do anything.
Literally. You name it, I can do it. Karate, flying a jumbo jet,
Japanese tea ceremonies, anything. The trouble is, whatever is I'm
doing I'll only ever be strictly average at it.
What makes me so great is that I'm
versatile, a rare skill in the world of Ideas. It's that versatility
that made my Great-Great-Grandfather decide to open up the Masters
Odd Job shop. As the most recent successor I'll do anything... for a
price.
It's just not the real Big Apple. It's the New York City made manifest by collective perceptions
of the city.
You want to explain it through implication. You might not even want to make it clear until well into the work. A part of what makes this kind of thing work is when the audience comes to their own appreciation of the fact. If it's just flung at them obviously and at the beginning, it feels kinda cheap.
Order was sealed away and could only manipulate her harp (via some minor magic - minor to a deity anyways). So she needed a way out. A way to get revenge on those who sealed her away. She's not right in the head, but she could still tell that killing her children - the ones that sealed her up - would break her prison. So she set her harp to warp around in order to evade her children and find a human
She eventually found one. She influenced the area to draw the human in to play her harp and to make him play the Song of Creation. She believed humans to be nothing but insects and incapable of influencing anything. The human however did influence things. His heart and soul was poured into that song. His dreams, his goals, his hopes, his fear, his deepest desires
This mixed with the ancient magic and created Humality - Name being a combination of Humanity and Duality, and also a corruption of Humilty
Meanwhile, far before that, Chaos, resigning himself to a specific fate, created Slekupan, the deity of nothing, to one day assist him in killing Order and Himself. Slekupan was not a strong deity, but he was designed specifically to kill other deities. The plan was that at the end of days he'd slaughter all deities, undoing creation and leaving just himself, hopefully one day allowing a new reality to form
When Humality was created, however, this threw a wrench in everybodies plans, all because Cryna never went, "Hmm, maybe humans - or anything with a soul - could influence things". Even Slekupan, designed to kill gods, would find himself unable to kill Humality since she was both divine and not divine, and as such had a partial immunity to his powers
This would lead to the end of days being a struggle for power between Slekupan and Humality, eventually leading them to working together as the replacements for Chaos and Order, ushering in a golden age for their little corner of reality
Chaos, being Chaos, was cool with this sudden wrench in the plans that caused, well, chaos
Edit: Also, as for the unifying theme for the whole work, it is balance. Trying to see the good in both sides and bringing a compromise that makes things better for both
This is why in, for instance, The Lord of the Rings, Sauron isn't a Villain Sue. Sure, the entire thing is about the Ring, an extension of his power, but the perspective generally belongs to mundane protagonists working against his arcane evil.
So as long as I don't concentrate too much on Humality then, I should be fine? Thanks
So, I've been flip-flopping with an idea. Recently, I've been watching the Claymore anime as well as playing Monster Hunter Tri and The Witcher 2. All of them have a little bit missing, though.
In Claymore, there are no mundane, human men-at-arms that fight the monsters except towards the beginning. Likewise, there are no war machines or crossbows or anything. In addition, the Claymores themselves risk flying off the handle and ascending to monster form, making them a risky investment.
Monster Hunter Tri lacks a strong plot or characters, but has the full contingent of monster hunting gear. You've got traps, powerful ranged weapons, lures and, most importantly, a pre-mission readout of the environment and the monster you'll be hunting. In addition, you generally end up hunting the same monster type multiple times under different conditions, meaning that you get used to hunting particular kinds of monsters where the altered conditions provide further challenge. It's semi-medieval, semi-ancient setting justifies a lack of resources with which to outfit a large amount of hunters.
The Witcher, like Monster Hunter, has just about everything. On the other hand, it doesn't provide one with preparation information or time when heading into new encounters. To its credit, it has the most reasonable setting among the three works, as well as the best and most accurately designed arms and armour.
So I'm playing with the concept of a monster hunting Order in a reasonably accurate medieval setting. Unlike the examples above, though, the hunters themselves are purely mundane humans with only intelligence, teamwork and medieval technology to see them through their encounters. Essentially, the hunts have three phases:
- Intelligence, wherein information is gathered via scouting and lore research.
- Preparation, wherein the required resources and skills are gathered for the approaching conflict.
- Battle, wherein the Order takes the fight to the monster(s) in question with the benefit of the previous phases.
I'm currently thinking about the organisation and hierarchy of the Order itself. For instance, there would have to be officials that oversee any official operation, as well as elite warriors who can do battle up close. These might cross over, given that the medieval world mixed politics with fighting skill. Whoever administers the operation might also have the legal capacity to requisition non-Order troops to support the effort, which may very well lead to its own complications. In the case of large monsters, this might entail requisitioning war machines and entire regiments.
How would they handle more magical monsters, though (eg the Lich)?