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If you lose your virginity to someone, and later you break up...

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Comments

  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Well, I guess you're gonna be alone forever Chagen because there is no such thing as perfection.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Juan/Moerin: I'd rather be celibate if that is true.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-07-10 15:59:26
    Has friends besides tanks now
    Because perfection doesn't exist, and by holding out for something that doesn't exist, you're depriving yourself of something great.

    I'm not saying that it's impossible to find someone who comes close to meeting all of your standards, but having higher standards than necessary will probably just lead to regrets. Trust me on this one; I'm a pretty shallow, uncompromising person myself.

    Ninja'd.

    ^ Well, it's true, so I guess 2D will have to suffice . . .
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    I don't deal with the flaws but rather look at them as something else that converts it into a positive quality from my viewpoint. >_>
  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)
    Chagen, question: What sort of perfect girl would want to be in a relationship with you?  You're not a perfect guy.
  • AHRAHR
    I was gonna ask something, but Poni already said it, and far more politely and intelligently than I would have.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I'm guessing in Chagen's world, being the perfect girl implies that she thinks he is perfect.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    No, it means "fits all my criteria".

    It's not literal perfection. It's my subjective idea of perfection.
  • AHRAHR
    edited 2011-07-10 16:02:42
    See, at least from what I've learned, the best relationships are the ones where you can tell the person you have problems with X, and then the both of you can work it out. Unlike friendships where there has to be a pretense of politeness.

    Of course, I could be wrong.

    I mean, I just think a strength in a relationship is being able to tell the other person when you're pissed off at them, and why, and the same to you.
  • TheMightyAnonymTheMightyAnonym
    edited 2011-07-10 16:03:10
    ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    "No offence Chagen, but that sounds, uh, really really stupid.

    Just giving yourself one chance to make things perfect?  Hell, expecting perfection in your first (or really, any) relationship in any way is asking for the impossible."

    I actually agree with both of you, in a way. I dislike the idea of flirting/random dating/temporary relationships/whatever, and would only get in a relationship if I am serious about it. But further, perfection is not what I would look for as a quality.

    Thing is, a LOT of people think romance is about finding fulfillment *in* your partner. I believe this is wildly off the mark. Romance should be about finding fulfillment *with* your partner. If you look to an imperfect relationship and expect easy going flawlessness, you will be disappointed eventually.

    I think that is the best interpretation of the cheesy Aesop where you love someone "for who they are". You love a person for their character, for their goals, for their ideals, and cast aside their flaws - and overcome things together. It shouldn't be like you exist to please your partner, and vice-versa - you should be a team together.

    I apologize for any diabetes incurred by this post.


  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    edited 2011-07-10 16:04:16
    Tableflipper
    the best relationships are the ones where you can tell the person you have problems with X, and then the both of you can work it out. 

    My girlfriend
    "The problem I have with you is that you're too much taller than me." (what she actually said was that she would prefer me to be shorter, but this is changed for this context)

    Me
    "I don't think I can fix that safely..."
  • AHRAHR
    Edmania: XD. My apologies.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-07-10 16:06:42
    Has friends besides tanks now
    "No, it means "fits all my criteria".


    It's not literal perfection. It's my subjective idea of perfection."


    I, personally, still think you're asking for too much by striving for any sort of "perfection".
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    For me, I don't mind changing for the other person if they change for me, and understand parts of me I don't want to change or can't change. I can't stop having asperger's syndrome, but I can stop fetishizing violence, if it would mean we would be closer. Sometimes in order to enjoy each other's company you just have to be as close as possible, when both of you are having the shittiest day in your entire life. If you both can endure it and not end up breaking up or fester with annoyance and hatred at each other for prolonged periods of time, then you can survive.
  • TheMightyAnonymTheMightyAnonym
    ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    My ultimate criteria for what I would consider to be a desirable mate is someone who is mature, and is striving to improve themselves. This is actually the reason that I prefer older women. Such a person can be difficult to find, but it is a limited criteria, enough so that there is freedom and no outlandish expectation.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Loving someone isn't about the greats time you have together, but the shit you both can endure with each other.

    Or something like that?
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I considering improving myself to be my most important goal.
  • AHRAHR
    Plus, most people do not know what they want. People kinda suck at that.
  • TheMightyAnonymTheMightyAnonym
    ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    ^^^That sounds about right. :)

    Incidentally, the trope that I consider to be the most romantic is Battle Couple.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Improving yourself is a good goal, and people not knowing what they want is a real problem.

    I can only parrot people right now it seems >_>
  • AHRAHR
    ^Oh that is horrible CC...

    ...Counterclock should give AHR all her money...


  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    Plus, most people do not know what they want. People kinda suck at that.

    wut rly
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    AHR sounded like Niles the Butler just then.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    "Plus, most people do not know what they want. People kinda suck at that."

    I'm not them. I know exactly what I want.
  • AHRAHR
    Edmania: Well, I guess it's more of an abstract thing. People think they will be happy if X happens, or if they get Y, when in reality, they tend to misjudge.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    You mean like how stuff I want that I don't have tends to seem more interesting than stuff I wanted that I do have (which I still like a lot but for some reason not as much as I thought I would)
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    No, see, people know what they want, but they don't know what they need. 
  • AHRAHR
    edited 2011-07-10 16:20:32
    Edmania: Yeah, more or less. Just more generally applied to things you can't buy.

    Juan: Semantics.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Counterclock should money be given by AHR?  That doesn't sound like a good idea.

    @Chagen: How do you know that's what you want?
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
     Just more generally applied to things you can't buy

    Implying I usually buy said stuff. Arr.
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