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General writing discussion.

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Comments

  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    She's not your target audience. Take her advice with a massive grain of salt. Keep it in mind, but if you don't think it'll help you, you can disregard it.

    This, really.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Eh, this is also partially because I don't like it when a character in a sexual work isn't enjoying it....okay, I do, but I don't like writing it.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Do what thou must. Keep your audience in mind.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]

    I will.


    But this is an auteur work as well. So it's mainly what I like, and if someone else likes it, cool.


    As one last thing--everyone one in this fic is some kind of animal-eared person. Rom is a catboy. So is Herz. Ona is a fox-girl, Gio is a cow-boy and Tera is a cat-girl

  • AHRAHR
    edited 2011-11-07 14:35:14
    Whenever you get criticism, always keep in mind who is it coming from.

    For instance, if you're writing something which, say, romanticizes the drugs and the rock n roll era, someone who has no love for either of those might not be too enthralled.

    Even if you respect someone a lot, they could still be very wrong.

    Or maybe I'm just bitter. One of those.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Some things about VR's Virtual Reality:

    -First of all, the ratio of "Time Outisde:Time Inside" is 1:4 Hours--for every hour in real life that passes, you will percieve 4 hours to pass in the VR world.

    -You are barred--except during extreme emergencies--from exiting the VR world for 30 minutes (real-life time, not VR time). This is because the accelerated time in the VR world is due to "hyper-charging" the brain's functions. Therefore, leaving too soon will result in your brain going from 1x speed, to 4x speed, back to 1x speed very quickly, resulting in massive headaches and "VR Whiplash", and possibly death.

    -On the other hand, staying too long--more than 10 hours in Real-Life Time, specifically--will result in brain overstress and tiredness.

    -Finally, suffering massive shock in a realistic VR world can kill you because your brain/body is so convinced that the pain you are feeling is real and not fake that it just shuts down.

    Just felt like throwing this out here.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    LOL SECKS MATRIX
  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    Does this thread have to be solely for the writing of people here, or can we discuss the writing of established writers and stuff? Because I really need a place to bitch about The Odessa File (I'm only eighteen pages in and I can already tell it's a terrible book), and I don't think enough people have read it that I could justify giving it its own topic.
  • AHRAHR
    Bitch away dude. While I bitch about the writer's block section!
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    BRING IT, BITCH!

  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    Maybe I'll retain enough of what I've read after I'm done, but I'd prefer to do my bitching once I have a complete readthrough over with.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    I'm gonna change Ona's name in VR.

    But I'm stuck, because her name is supposed to be a pun off of "Operating System". The first letters of her given and last name spell out "OS", and the two names themselves are anagrams of "Operating System".

    I'm trying figure out a name that would sound nice and fit that.
  • AHRAHR
    Ginaterapo? Gina for short?

    Mestys?
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    Her first name must start with "O", her last name must start with "S", so her initials read "OS".
  • AHRAHR
    oh
    right.
    Damn.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    I can figure it out myself anyway.

    Also, VR will be my first story to swap between the viewpoints of the main characters. Only Rom and Herz, but it's the first time I've done that.

    Viewpoints only switch over chapters, never in the middle of one.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-11-14 07:33:08
    No rainbow star
    Just came up with an idea. I'll probably sketch and digitally ink it for practice, and if I enjoy it, I'll make a webcomic out of it

    So any critiques anybody wants to make?

    (Panel is a page large. Consists of only a moon and text)
    Narration: The moon. She never judges. She is neither benevolent nor vicious. She just is.

    It's like this for the rest of nature too. The mother does not seek to harm or protect. She may seem kind on a warm summers day, and mean on a cold winters night, but she is neither. She just is

    Nature... Is about balance, my boy

    (Next panel is also a page in size. It consists of a single room, with a bit of a rustic feel. There is a lamp hanging from the wall, and an electric alarm clock on a nightstand. There is a boy in bed with his father sitting on the end)
    Father: This is a lesson we all must learn

    (Next page is a few panels split up across it. Behind is the rest of the room and blackness outside the wall)
    (The panels consist of the faces of the father and son, alternating)
    Boy: But why papa? Why balance?

    Father: Because my boy, without balance things fall apart

    Boy: Then why do we capture the beasts? Why is that not balanced?

    Father: It is. The beasts, they help us keep balance

    (Next panel is a full 2 pages, showing a lone angelic figure on a rooftop. Only her silhouette shows against the night sky. The moon is large in the panel. The figure takes up a good chunk of the panel, being fairly prominent. Beside the figure is a humanoid shape, but it has a tail and muzzle)
    Narration: The gods will it

    Angel: What is the report Betotter?

    Betotter: Not good Alphight. I tried to reason with the dragons, but they are being stubborn, even when I soothe their nerves. Sorry, but the humans are on their own for this one

    (A small panel in the corner shows the eyes of the angel. The eyes are angry)
    Alphight: And why, pray tell, can't we just stomp these dragons in battle?
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-11-16 22:04:00
    They're somethin' else.
    Sorry, i must've missed that one, Ica. I'll get to it soon.

    Guys, I have 2 questions:

    *How plausible is it for one to enter a (temporary) state of blood loss or pain induced hysteria/ insanity/ crying laughing fit etc?
    *what would be a funny cute thing for the bloodied person to doodle on another person's face with their own blood (that would only take a few strokes)? I was thinking either Indian warpaint, Kabuki face paint, or initials. Anything else?
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    edited 2011-11-17 01:01:18
    No rainbow star
    ^ I'd think it would be possible. Can't torture make a person snap?

    As for it being temporary... Not so sure =/

    A funny cute thing? A smiley face (blood on/around the eyelids and around the mouth)

    EDIT: Oh, and the blood loss thing. Well, I'm sure they could go light headed and act all giddy, and maybe start laughing. And recovering from blood loss should fix that. Don't quote me on that though
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    I read your thing Icalasari.

    It reminds me of the "Steel you can trust" speech from the Conan The Barbarian film.
  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    ^ Huh. I've never seen that movie
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Gonna present an older work that I revamped pretty soon, so if it sounds slightly familiar, it kinda is.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    I wrote a short story. I'll be presenting that soon, probably.
  • WaltzyWaltzy
    dat feel when you get a really good idea for yet another fan fiction when you've already started tons.

    uwaaahh
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    I can never read fanfictions. I dont' know why.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    I don't always read fanfic, but when I do, I read pony fanfiction. but there are a few that I really, really like.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I can't stand them, but I make it a point to not criticize other people's writing based on such a shallow criteria.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-11-26 20:45:43
    I find fanfic is either really good or really bad. There's no real middle ground. They're usually really bad, but there are some gems. 
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    Also, here's my short story. It includes an author's note to explain the background. I'm not really that happy with it, to be honest. It's my first complete work using a new style (incredibly terse first person, in the style of The Black Company and To Hell and Back), so it's pretty rough. The characters are pretty wooden, though that's more of a result of me trying to cram in as much character development as I can into a relatively short story. It's also quite sappy. Still, I thought I might as well post it. 
  • LiszteningLisztening
    edited 2011-11-26 20:53:01
    Erudite Meathead
    Here I find it more to be that fanfics are really good, really bland, or awful, but I suppose that people could lump bland and awful together.

    It feels like those who lie more in the middle of things don't feel bothered to upload/publish or something, out of sloth or out of self-consciousness.
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