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General writing discussion.
Comments
I will.
But this is an auteur work as well. So it's mainly what I like, and if someone else likes it, cool.
As one last thing--everyone one in this fic is some kind of animal-eared person. Rom is a catboy. So is Herz. Ona is a fox-girl, Gio is a cow-boy and Tera is a cat-girl
-First of all, the ratio of "Time Outisde:Time Inside" is 1:4 Hours--for every hour in real life that passes, you will percieve 4 hours to pass in the VR world.
-You are barred--except during extreme emergencies--from exiting the VR world for 30 minutes (real-life time, not VR time). This is because the accelerated time in the VR world is due to "hyper-charging" the brain's functions. Therefore, leaving too soon will result in your brain going from 1x speed, to 4x speed, back to 1x speed very quickly, resulting in massive headaches and "VR Whiplash", and possibly death.
-On the other hand, staying too long--more than 10 hours in Real-Life Time, specifically--will result in brain overstress and tiredness.
-Finally, suffering massive shock in a realistic VR world can kill you because your brain/body is so convinced that the pain you are feeling is real and not fake that it just shuts down.
Just felt like throwing this out here.
While I bitch about the writer's block section!But I'm stuck, because her name is supposed to be a pun off of "Operating System". The first letters of her given and last name spell out "OS", and the two names themselves are anagrams of "Operating System".
I'm trying figure out a name that would sound nice and fit that.
Also, VR will be my first story to swap between the viewpoints of the main characters. Only Rom and Herz, but it's the first time I've done that.
Viewpoints only switch over chapters, never in the middle of one.
So any critiques anybody wants to make?
(Panel is a page large. Consists of only a moon and text)
Narration: The moon. She never judges. She is neither benevolent nor vicious. She just is.
It's like this for the rest of nature too. The mother does not seek to harm or protect. She may seem kind on a warm summers day, and mean on a cold winters night, but she is neither. She just is
Nature... Is about balance, my boy
(Next panel is also a page in size. It consists of a single room, with a bit of a rustic feel. There is a lamp hanging from the wall, and an electric alarm clock on a nightstand. There is a boy in bed with his father sitting on the end)
Father: This is a lesson we all must learn
(Next page is a few panels split up across it. Behind is the rest of the room and blackness outside the wall)
(The panels consist of the faces of the father and son, alternating)
Boy: But why papa? Why balance?
Father: Because my boy, without balance things fall apart
Boy: Then why do we capture the beasts? Why is that not balanced?
Father: It is. The beasts, they help us keep balance
(Next panel is a full 2 pages, showing a lone angelic figure on a rooftop. Only her silhouette shows against the night sky. The moon is large in the panel. The figure takes up a good chunk of the panel, being fairly prominent. Beside the figure is a humanoid shape, but it has a tail and muzzle)
Narration: The gods will it
Angel: What is the report Betotter?
Betotter: Not good Alphight. I tried to reason with the dragons, but they are being stubborn, even when I soothe their nerves. Sorry, but the humans are on their own for this one
(A small panel in the corner shows the eyes of the angel. The eyes are angry)
Alphight: And why, pray tell, can't we just stomp these dragons in battle?
Guys, I have 2 questions:
*How plausible is it for one to enter a (temporary) state of blood loss or pain induced hysteria/ insanity/ crying laughing fit etc?
*what would be a funny cute thing for the bloodied person to doodle on another person's face with their own blood (that would only take a few strokes)? I was thinking either Indian warpaint, Kabuki face paint, or initials. Anything else?
As for it being temporary... Not so sure =/
A funny cute thing? A smiley face (blood on/around the eyelids and around the mouth)
EDIT: Oh, and the blood loss thing. Well, I'm sure they could go light headed and act all giddy, and maybe start laughing. And recovering from blood loss should fix that. Don't quote me on that though
It reminds me of the "Steel you can trust" speech from the Conan The Barbarian film.
uwaaahh
but when I do, I read pony fanfiction.but there are a few that I really, really like.It feels like those who lie more in the middle of things don't feel bothered to upload/publish or something, out of sloth or out of self-consciousness.