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Rape fetishism

MillerCrossMillerCross
edited 2011-11-25 15:52:36 in General
You can change. You can.
Have at it, good or bad, etc.

Imma make some coffee and watch or something.
«1345

Comments

  • vandrovandro
    He who laments and can't let go of the past is forever doomed to solitude.
    Intriguing.
  • RaddRadd
    edited 2011-11-25 15:52:29
    Bad. But at least keep it to yourself if you are. Unless you're willing to consider keeping it to a therapist. Also, you misspelled fetishism.
  • WaltzyWaltzy
    As long as you don't force it on others, I don't think any fetishism is inherently bad. Fantasy and reality are much different.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I have no idea what you're talking about.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-11-25 15:53:24
    Getting off something that will almost certainly leave one one of the participants scarred for life is... not good, in my opinion. But the worse kind of work that tries to appeal to rape fetishists is when it portrays the victim as enjoying it. That shit is disgusting.
  • CrimsonCrimson
    Give us fire! Give us ruin! Give us our glory!
  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    I don't think any having any sort of thought or want makes you a worse person. It's your actions that are really important.

    When I walk down the streets with groceries, I often fantasize about hurling them into the windows of oncoming traffic. That doesn't make me a bad person, since I just don't do it. I can't choose to not be entertained by the thought, so I'm not going to waste time feeling guilty about it.

    I think if people weren't made to feel guilty about having weird kinks or fantasies, we could be more honest about them and be in a better place. I don't think that that necessarily means that the related actions would be encouraged.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-11-25 15:56:52
    Has friends besides tanks now
    @Neo: I think it'll be fine without AHR or Cakman around. I trust the rest of the site to be civil about this topic.

    My thoughts: I think it's damaging and careless to assume that the implications of rape fetishism are no different from any other fetishism; there's some pretense for every fetish, and in this case the pretense involves severely damaging someone by its very nature. But if people keep it to themselves (or a therapist, if they're that worried about doing something they'll regret), I don't take issue with it.

    ^ I don't approve of demonizing people simply for having these thoughts. What I disapprove of is attempting to completely separate any given fetish, but especially the ones like rape or guro, from their context.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-11-25 15:56:04
    ^^^ Picture's broken, champ.

    Or maybe just for me. nevermind.
  • RaddRadd
    Post edited by Radd at 2011-11-25 16:52:29

    Post edited by Juan_Carlos at 2011-11-25 16:52:36

    I think I win.
  • ForzareForzare
    edited 2011-11-25 15:58:56
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    argh like a dozen ninjas

    In my (utterly uneducated, neutral) opinion, there's nothing wrong with a rape fetish. Unless there's some deep seated issue with the person where they actually go rape people.

    I very much doubt anyone's rape fantasies translate to going out and raping people/actually getting raped. In a controlled setting with a trusted partner, you can have that whole fantasy, and no one gets hurt at all. That's what safewords are for.

    Plus, there's not that whole issue like there is with lolicon (that may or not actually be a thing, I've never seen real facts one way or the other) where people can be tricked into rape with porn/stories/whatever. No one is going to get convinced that rape is okay by reading a pornfic, unless the person is already mentally unstable, in which case the rape fetish isn't their issue. No one is going to get hurt by this stuff existing. Except maybe real rape victims who stumble on it, but that's what trigger tags are for.

    So yeah. Super rambling post. It's really harmless, for the vast majority of people.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I actually didn't see it till I edited it, but whatever, timestamps and so on, so eh. 

    In the meantime, all I have to say is what I told Everest when we discussed the subject privately a while back: Acts matter to me much more than thoughts. Everybody has intusive thoughts. As long as they understand that raping a person is a crime against someone with mental, emotional and physical damage, then I'm OK with that being your thing. You can fap to whatever the fuck you want, as long as you do not harm or inflict on others that your fetish is something they should like or normalize. 
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-11-25 16:03:19
    Has friends besides tanks now
    "As long as they understand that raping a person is a crime against someone with mental, emotional and physical damage, then I'm OK with that being your thing."

    I'm basically in agreement there, but I also feel better if I can see that a rape fetishist doesn't completely brush aside the implications of having the fetish; if they're like "I dislike actual rape actually happening", cool, but if they're like "look, don't worry about me, it's just a fetish", I might worry if I feel that they aren't being clear enough, or if I already feel that they're creepy, given other mannerisms/habits that they have (which I also discussed with Juan), or if they feel the need to bring it up out of context. I suppose it's more a matter of explication, for me.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-11-25 16:03:04
    I have a problem with rape fetishism itself, but I'm okay with people being rape fetishists as long as they don't carry it out in real life or talk about it a lot in a forum that discourages that kind of fetish. I would have no sympathy for someone talking about liking rape fetishism in SA, for example. I think it would be an instant ban for them.
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    edited 2011-11-25 16:15:43
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I've learned one thing about fetishes from talking about various fetishes with various people who have various fetishes in the extended TV Tropes community (forum, IRC, etc.):

    Fetishes do not make sense.

    No, really, they don't make any sense if you try to think about them.  Sexuality in general doesn't make much sense anyway, but fetishes have never made much logical sense.  Why are people aroused by pain, by bondage, by balloons, by stroking feet, etc.?  You can come up with justifications, such as Freudian reasoning or other explanations, but they all seem odd to one person or another, and often to very many people who don't share the fetish.

    You either have a fetish or you don't.  That's not to say you can't gain or lose fetishistic interests over time, but just that at any given point in time, either something turns you on or it doesn't.  And if it turns you on, there is no good way of explaining why it does.

    Unfortunately, some of these fetishes are for particularly repulsive acts, such as injury, mutilation, dismemberment, and even rape.

    My take on this issue is, if all you do is consensual roleplay with your partner, and you understand fully that the actual act of rape itself is totally wrong and completely disgusting, then yeah, I'm okay with it.

    If a meatspace friend confided to me that they had a rape fetish, I might react at that moment with some degree of surprise, disgust, or a combination of the two.  What I would do next depends strongly on my understanding of that person.  It may range anywhere from accepting their understanding that it's just a fetish and being fully confident that their moral compass will not lead them to catering to their fetish with non-consenting individuals, to minimizing contact with them and strongly suggesting they seek psychological help.  It depends on how the person approaches the fetish.

    argh like a dozen ninjas


    I know that feel bro
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    To be honest, if someone I know in real life told me they were a rape fetishist, unless they were among my best friends, I would most likely not be able to look at them the same way again. I would try to act normal around them but I would still be uncomfortable, and they would probably be able to tell that. 
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    edited 2011-11-25 16:26:24
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    And they probably wouldn't tell you unless they felt very close to you in terms of friendship.

    If they did tell you and you didn't feel you were close to them, then I'd start by questioning that person's good social judgement--a judgement that might also be involved if the person feels the urge to act on a fetish or fantasy.
  • CrimsonCrimson
    Give us fire! Give us ruin! Give us our glory!
    Okay, in all seriousness here I'm with GMH on this one. As long as a rape fetishist knows that actual rape is a terrible thing and that their kink is not normal or healthy in anyway, then that is acceptable.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    ^^ True. If someone who wasn't a close friend told me they were a rape fetishist, I would probably question their judgement beyond their fetish. 
  • DYREDYRE

    I kind of wish one of my friends would tell me they're a rape fetishist.  It'd be more interesting that way.  Though if someone who isn't my friend were to tell me that I'd think they're just trying to creep me out or something.

    Anyway I don't think any sort of fetish is indicative of anything other than, well, having a fetish, though it's certainly true that if a person strongly associates some particular thing with arousal then it could have an effect on their ability to view that thing otherwise.  I don't really think that that will result in any real problems though except for people with a poor grasp of reality or something.

  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    Eh, if they recognize that it should stay in fantasy and don't bring it into the real world (including just using photos of the act in some cases), then I'm fine with the person (the fetish itself I may not be fine with, however)

    This ranges anywhere from vore to bestiality to rape to even paedophilia (The person had damn well not even have photos for those latter two). The second they seriously consider harming someone with their fetish is the second they should get some serious help (e.g. if a voreaphile started being unable to think about anything but ways to cook someone in real life, or a rape fetishist starts shopping around for tranquilizers)
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    To be honest I would have a huge problem with a pedophilia fetishist, even if he/she never acted on tit and was my best friend. 
  • DYREDYRE
    I probably wouldn't, but, well... >.>
  • RaddRadd
    You are one.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-11-25 17:45:36
    Eh. I meant a real life person. I'm okay with an online person being pedophilia fetishist as long as they don't make it obvious. As DYRE doesn't, since I didn't know he was one before this.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    I find myself agreeing with most things gentlemanorcus is saying here.

    And now I leave again.
  • nohaynicklibrenohaynicklibre
    edited 2011-11-25 18:02:19
    Kichigai birthday!!
    Me too,plus it's funny imagining it whith Hank Hill's voice.
  • gentlemanorcusgentlemanorcus
    edited 2011-11-25 18:06:41
    I tell ya what, that boy ain't right.
  • IronweaverIronweaver
    if u do convins fashist akwaint hiz faec w pavment neway jus 2 b sur

    Also agreeing with gentlemanorcus and GMH.


    Now I'll leave this thread, because I don't want to be caught up in the middle of a potential shitstorm.

  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-11-25 18:08:42
    Has friends besides tanks now
    ^ Does it really look like a shitstorm is in the works? I'm pretty sure that just about everyone here is in agreement.
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