People who think relationships will solve their problems

Malkavian

Maybe that's something you need to figure out on yourself. If being a better person were easy everyone would be doing it.

MillerCross

Yup. 

Again, just check in with a therapist, nothing wrong with that.

Kraken

You become a better person by resolving your issues. Develop a sense of consciousness about yourself. Know what your problems are. Look at the things that close you off from others and open them. Try to be confident. Think about others while equally thinking for yourself. Find purpose. Seek knowledge. Always strive for self-improvement. If you find yourself needing help, then ask for help.

People say that you should love who you are. They are deluded, but meaningfully so. If what it takes for you to change yourself for the better is self-love, then self-love it must be. If it's self-loathing, then hate thyself.

Vivi

All of those are helpful besides the "be confident" one.

MadassAlex

The best advice I can give is "see a professional".

Vivi

Ugh, money.

Not making an excuse. Just saying, I have none.

Malkavian

You're still in school, right? Counselors are always an option.

MadassAlex

Yeah, they should be able to help you out a bit.

Kraken

I didn't say "be confident" just like that. I said "try".

And when you try it enough and succeed, you end up being confident anyway. That's why it's confidence.

InsanityAddict

You don't have to resolve your issues completely before entering a relationship, provided you're open about these problems at the start. Some problems take so long to get over that putting off relationships until they're resolved may take years, and some problems(self-esteem issues, not knowing how to behave in social situations, trust issues) can be overcome by the effort of trying to get into a relationship. The other party can even drag you to the therapist's doorstep if need be. There's no shame in relying on help, provided it's not a one-way street and the person knows what he or she's getting into.

Kraken

That is true too.

If you want to be reeled in, you have to make yourself a good catch. Or at least, something that is willing to be one.

AHR

--shrugs-- I dunno. I'm pretty sure Cak and I have fixed a lot of each other's problems.

Well, not completely, but we both support each other. It's nice, knowing that when you go into something, you always have someone who has your back.

Counterclock

@AHR.

The general attitude we're against is "I have problems, if I'm in a relationship, I will no longer have problems"

AHR

You'll get new problems.

Counterclock

Basically. Just look at poor AHR, she's actually traumatized into thinking Cakman's funny.

TheConductor

Being in a relationship doesn't fix YOUR problems. All it seems to do is drag you into everyone else's problems.

Still, having company's nice.

AHR

They don't fix your problems, but it can make a lot of them seem less...relevant, I guess.

Of course, then you discover whole new problems that affect your SO, that you never knew existed.

For example, I discovered I can be quite emotionally withdrawn. Never knew that before.

Meanwhile, my habit of talking fast about strange and inappropriate things, has become irrelevant.

So, it's a give and take.