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People who think relationships will solve their problems

2

Comments

  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    To quote a great voice of our era you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you just might get what you need.
  • RedEyedAbyssRedEyedAbyss

    "Solitude does have its benefits, however."

    Freedom, for one thing.

    I'm not in a rush to be in a relationship. If I do meet a significant other, that would be nice since then we can share life experiences, but I'm only interested if both of us are willing to accept each other for who we are. One thing that bugs me about the way people usually talk about relationships is the whole dominant/submissive dynamic. I would much rather prefer equality.

  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Disadvantage of solitude: When you've finished your beer you can't ask someone to go to the fridge and get you one.

    ...I can't think of any others at moment.
  • RedEyedAbyssRedEyedAbyss
    Train a monkey to fetch one for you.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I can't believe I'm saying this but I agree with Malk

    now go fuck off and lemme be grumpy antirelationship bitch.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Juan, stop dieing of euthanasia
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Just general lonlieness. I can feel left out and I can't make certain special connections. It's also a huge blow to my self esteem and I start to dislike myself a lot.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I'll admit part of it is physical. No kissing, cuddling, hand holding, hugging...
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    > Juan, stop dieing of euthanasia 

    lol u think i can die u so funny


    honestly, i can't contribute much to the topic beyond the fact that as much as I'd actually like a perfect romantic relationship, or at least a worthwhile one, I know I'm not gonna get it, so I don't care. If it comes, it will come, if it doesn't, well, there's still plenty to do.

  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    edited 2011-09-20 23:55:56
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    ^^ Like the OP mentions, don't count on a relationship solving anything. It can be a great help, and can put you in a place where tackling those obstacles becomes much easier. But at the same time, it's extra responsibility and can be pretty awful if relations wear thin.

    "Lol no"

    :c
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Yeah except I know what I want and need to fix some of my problems. The root of a lot of them is lonliness. Not all of course.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Also, on the physicality part it's very possible to have a relationship where none of that happens.
  • KrakenKraken
    Look, it's very simple. If you need someone to make your life complete that badly, then you have problems and need to learn to make your life more complete by yourself.

    Because while filling a void sounds all well and good, the truth is that being half of someone else leaves no time for you to be yourself.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    edited 2011-09-20 23:58:45
    You can change. You can.
    ^^^ Stop confusing a therapist with a significant other.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    People keep putting words in my mouth...
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    @Vivi: It's normal that you want a relationship, we're just trying to say that it has its advantages and disadvantages.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    ^^Except we're not. We're just recognizing the same patterns that plenty of people have gone through as have some of us.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    You said you wanted to fix your problems. 

    You really don't realize how selfish that is, don't you? Using a girl just to solve a personal need of yours? 

    At least a therapist is able to actually help you with those.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    I guess I'm just a horrible person then...

    Tell me something I don't know.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Well, it seems that it'd be "Get around fixing it and stop depending on some poor woman who you're idealizing into a perfect solution when she isn't"
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Being misinformed and ignorant of something does not make you a bad person.

    Blowing what we're saying out of proportion is being bad though.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    edited 2011-09-21 00:08:29
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Having normal misconeptions does not make you a bad person.

    Developing a persecution complex because people have been giving you constructive advice does, though.

    ^Hey look, ninja buddies.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Juan just stop it, jeez. I havent said a single thing you said I have.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    You have implied through the whole thing that relationships would somehow make you a better person. Trust me, I went down that road and I'm actually happy that I managed to get out before shit got real.

    And it's not just that, but the idea of implying that you wanna be in a relationship just for the sake of your own self and because you hope it'd solve your problems which you say are rooted in loneliness (Which they are not, they are just rooted in low self esteem) is simply put one of the most objectifying things I've ever heard. 
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Low self esteem has to come from somewhere.

    And whatever you THINK I implied you're wrong.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Or maybe you're in denial and get belligerent when we point out the problems with your philosophy towards relationships.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    Besides, it's less Relationship -> Become A Better Person and more more Become A Better Person -> Relationship.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    And whatever you THINK I implied you're wrong.

    It amuses me how you think implications are intentional.
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    UUUUGH.

    Okay. Fucking fine then. How do I become a better person?
  • ViviVivi
    $80+ per session
    Exactly... -_-
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