Slut Walks.

Chagen

Only if one gets a diviorce/breaks up/etc.

Katrika

Edmania, I don't agree with Chagen when he says it dilutes, but think of it this way. You have 24 hours in the day. 8 are spent in bed. Not all of the remaining 16 are free, because you have work, etc. You have a finate amount of time in each day you can spend with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The more boyfriends or girlfriends you have, the less time you have to spend with each of them.

That's not to say you can't find a balance with 2 or 3 if you really tried.

Chagen: Did you read my second post? What's your response? It got pagebottomed.

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But people can spend time with more than one person at the same time anyway.

I mean those 3+ player video games don't exist for no reason.

I do know what you're talking about though when I consider the sheer amount of lonely husbands made as a result of their wives preferring to spend more time with their children.

InsanityAddict

Who even needs to manage their time to see everyone equally? The moment they get jealous of such petty things is the moment you realize they're not made for polyamoury.

Katrika

They can spend time with more then one person, but just because they're polyamorous doesn't mean they don't like one on one time every once in a while.

And not just like THAT, no. It's just more personal to have alone time sometimes.

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I didn't say they do, but minor differences in spending time can't be harmful enough unless the partners are too sensitive and bad at accepting such a relationship anyway.

Katrika

Oh, well, I agree. That's why this isn't really a valid argument against polyamory with a certain range of amounts of people, and is just as much of a valid argument against having 18 kids because you don't believe in birth control.

Seriously, that's just wrong and unfair to the kids.

InsanityAddict

Poly peeps don't cost as much time and money to maintain. Besides, poly peeps may have other poly peeps to lessen the dependence on one person.

Chagen

Insanity: Except you know, Jealousy is an extremely common emotion in people.

Katrika

^^Good point.

Chagen: You haven't replied to my question on the bottom of the last page. What about a widower who loves his new girlfriend, but also his dead wife? Is he WRONG for that?

Chagen

Kat: Said love for his dead wife is of a slightly different kind than for his alive girlfriend. Both are equal, but I'm talking about love for living people.

Noimporta

The cost increase for each new member in a household is usually diminishing. Assuming more than one of them has a source of income, it should be easier to sustain it....

... unless they break up, then the asset division becomes an absolute pain.

Katrika

So you accept that there's such thing as equal but different love. What, then, of a man who loves one woman because she always shows him the light side of life, and another because of their mental sparring?

Chagen

Kat: I'd personally prefer to be Just Friends with both, if that was me. I don't really comprehend multiple-person love.

Katrika

Well, yes. And it's perfectly fine to want to be Just Friends. You're not polyamorous, and neither am I. But some people ARE.

To be frank, Chagen, I personally believe in following what the bible says myself without pushing it onto other people. You can 'lead by example', and not call people disgusting or perverted. I don't think your attitude is very godlike.

InsanityAddict

Being a Christian or not is inherently unrelated to the discussion, as you can quotemine the bible to justify polyamory anyways. Why you dislike it something you have to analyze within yourself, while acknowledging the gaps in your experience might mean you have an inherently skewed image of polyamory. The poly thread in OTC cleared up a few of my misunderstandings, and even then I assume their model of polyamory is only one possibility of many.

Katrika

Eeeeeh...true, shit.

Guess I gotta get off my high horse. =P

Chagen

Insanity: Except, in my case, I have not seen any benefits to polyamoury in the slightest, even after reading arguements from polys thenselves.

I'm worried that this will gradually become more and more accepted by society. LGBT people are fine, but I'm drawing the line at anything that tries to redefine relationships.

Though this is partially paranoia of polys trying to convert me--due to my Christian upbringing, I naturally assume that all groups are focused on converting people.

Noimporta

Except, in my case, I have not seen any benefits to polyamoury in the slightest

Benefits in what sense? As it has been stated, there are economic benefits to polyamoury, at the very least.

Chagen

What benefits?

I meant that poly relationships would be likely to fall apart very quickly.

InsanityAddict

Except there are plenty of cultures where this sort of stuff is even the norm. There's no such thing as a poly agenda, and the reason you take a specific relationship model as a default is only because you've seen it the most around you while you grew up.

I'd also say your idea of twue wuv puts your prospective partner on a pedestal, and demanding perfection from her is detrimental to her as a person, and more in line with the dated model of courtly love then anything that's currently the norm.

Noimporta

What benefits?

Sustainment, a bigger household requires less income per person.

I meant that poly relationships would be likely to fall apart very quickly.

On what basis do you assume this?

More importantly, though, look at this post:

I'm worried that this will gradually become more and more accepted by society. LGBT people are fine, but I'm drawing the line at anything that tries to redefine relationships.

Though this is partially paranoia of polys trying to convert me--due to my Christian upbringing, I naturally assume that all groups are focused on converting people.

Would this post be any different if you replaced "polyamorists" with "homosexuals" (for consistency's sake, you can replace "LGBT people" with "interracial marriages")?

It is unlikely that polyamory will become the norm for a variety of reasons, this is not about that, it's about accepting the people who wish to practice (?) it. Besides, have you ever actually seen someone trying to "convert" others to polyamory?

Chagen

Insanity: My obsession with a perfect partner is actually more because I don't want to sacrifice or downplay the the things I love because my partner doesn't like them. And I'd like to do these things with my partner too--why give up the chance to have a person to always watch anime or play games with? I'd love to be able to do things like discuss interpretations of Evangelion or wait for the next season's best anime to come to our shores with my girlfriend, instead of doing it at night secretly on message boards

I want to blast anime and game music in the car without reprecussion. I want to have fun playing Motorstorm Apacoplypse with my girlfriend/wife for the 20th time in a row. I want to watch TV and point out the tropes with her and have fun doing it. I want to brag about getting farther in Nethack against her, and then feel like crap because her Fortress in Dwarf Fortress is way better than mine.

I want to have fun in a relationship.

InsanityAddict

That's more modest than perfection, but I assume the checklist is broader: eventually you'll need to identify the dealbreakers and what can be compromised upon(and you'll find someone you'll want to compromise for sooner or later).

Chagen

Yes, but I don't want us to both compromise half of our favorite things for each other. My mom and my dad have almost no sinilar interests--their relationship could be better, to be polite.

Hatter

My problem with polyamory is that it's human nature for people to get jealous over stupid shit. I mean, enough marriages get broken up because one partner got jealous of the attention their spouse is giving to their HOBBIES. When you add a whole other partner, it's even worse. It's simpler and safer to stay mono-amorous.

I don't think it's impossible for a truly loving polyamorous relationship to exist between three or more consenting adults. Heck, such a relationship might even last longer than most marriages. I just think it's highly fucking unlikely.

InsanityAddict

You don't have to give things up, you can just not involve her in that part of your life. Which is healthy anyway, to still have a life outside of your partner.

Chagen

"You don't have to give things up, you can just not involve her in that part of your life."

But....why? Why should I not have fun with her when she's there? I've been alone long enough. I've done things alone long enough.

" Which is healthy anyway, to still have a life outside of your partner."

This may be part of my problem, given that I think that you should devote your entire life to your partner.

InsanityAddict

Not involving her in some parts isn't that dramatic. Take videogames, for example. She may like certain console-roleplaying games, but find Minecraft and roguelikes too sparse and slow to get into. You don't have to absolutely share every aspect 24/7. Or else you must also want to work at the same place as her.

TheConductor

You know what Chagen? FUCK YOU. You pathetic, hypocritical, annoying, nasty, shallow, fuckwit. I'm a Mormon! My family are Mormons and I love BOTH my mums. So fuck off, who the fuck are you to say that their love isn't real? Who are YOU to decide what's perverted? I mean aren't you the guy who jacks off to kids and loves nappies? You honestly make me sick.

Nah, none of that's true. Seriously though, mutual love between any number of adults is pure and beautiful. I mean, doesn't Big Daddy Yahweh loves us all doesn't he? You're not honestly calling God a pervert are you?