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General writing discussion.

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Comments

  • edited 2012-05-06 11:11:39
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!

    ^^Very true. Thanks.

  • A very small snippit from a story I started this evening. The Dark Prince


     



    Imagine the most needlessly extravagant room you can. Imagine a huge dome and white marble. Imagine a rabble of Gods and Demi-Gods and Angels and other Divinities and then imagine me; the fiery haired, amber winged, Morning Star. Imagine Lucifer in chains, held down by two of the ugliest Frost Giants ever spat out from Jötunheimr. Imagine my once perfect visage, beaten and bruised by injustice.


  • No rainbow star

    Ok, I have a plan set out for my first webcomic


    ...And going at three pages a week, if I averaged 35 pages a chapter, it would take nearly 3 years to complete 11 chapters


    Something seems wrong with that, especially since the plans don't have any real action until chapter 8


     


    So, uh, suggestions for pacing? Maybe I should post the outline here?

  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    That's just how it is with webcomics.
  • No rainbow star

    Well then, if the plans I have are any indication, then the comic will be autoupdating even after I've died D:

  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    In that case, either you have a pacing problem or aren't updating enough.
  • No rainbow star

    I think I have a pacing problem


     


    I haven't started drawing yet, still working on the whole planning, and any more than 3 days a week for updating would probably be beyond me, but it's feeling like things such as an intro shouldn't take 20 to 50 pages and I may be overplanning. I'm not sure though as this would be my first proper webcomic

  • edited 2012-05-09 11:25:59
    One foot in front of the other, every day.

    The thing is that with a film, book or game, people will generally continue the experience for a while, even if they don't like it. Someone might read twenty pages of a book before putting it down for good, see more than half a movie or play a significant portion of a game. But a webcomic needs to provide something by the first panel, since your consumers haven't paid for this experience and are therefore much more aware of the time commitment they're making in order to experience it. So from the first page, you need something that makes your audience go "I got something out of this". 


    It can be a lot of things -- art, humour, mystery -- but it has to be there. Successful webcomics are built on this purest kind of provision, from the ridiculous to the simply well-told. Dr. McNinja's title says everything you need to know about the contents, essentially, and the ridiculous nature of the content keeps people coming back. Gunnerkrigg Court, on the other hand, promises something strange and magical keeps you hooked on a combination of awe and mystery. 


    It's like how a lot of movies begin with an action scene, you know? And sometimes it pays to start off with that kind of lowest-common-denominator kind of thing. It worked for PJ's The Lord Of The Rings films and didn't prevent those films at all from being artistic and entertainment triumphs alike. 

  • No rainbow star

    Well, I'm not sure how to start it excitingly enough to hook people, sadly =/

  • One foot in front of the other, every day.

    If it's narrative-driven rather than humour-driven, try finding a way to ask a question -- or, better yet, find a way for your comic to beg a question the audience will ask themselves. 

  • No rainbow star

    Well, it would be a mix of the two. Start out light hearted, by chapter 8 start getting into a more serious plot, and have points of light heartedness between each arc

  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Well, that's probably part of your pacing problem right there.
  • No rainbow star

    Hmm...



    Maybe if I cut out chapters 6 and 7? Those just follow two characters on their daily routines, which then leaves an introduction chapter, three chapters that add new characters (as they can't be available right off the bat), and a chapter that lines out the setting (not in that order) before the chapter that starts off the action


    Or should I combine two of the character chapters and combine the setting chapter and the other character chapter (introduces a villain) to further condense it?

  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Spending a full chapter explaining the setting, unless it's not what it sounds like, is kinda like starting a videogame with an hour-long cutscene that tells you about the controls.
  • edited 2012-05-09 11:59:31
    No rainbow star

    Hmm... I guess it would be excessive unless it was some sort of mini chapter


     


    So yeah, guess my problem was pacing. Thanks


     


    EDIT: Ok, so I cut it down so the action starts in chapter 4. Assuming 35 pages average, 3 a week, and a short intro chapter (say 10 pages), that would be a little over half a year before the action starts proper. That sounds more like a reasonable rate. Thanks for the help with figuring that out



    Hopefully I'll have a small number of comics ready in the next few weeks (nice to have a buffer)

  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    My advice for settin exposition is that readers will learn everything they need to know aboutthe setting by watching the characters live in it.
  • No rainbow star

    Well, the explanation of setting was to cover a bit of history, but yeah, it seems like that may work better in the chapter introducing one of the villains


     


    Now to work on the next headache... Going to be hard not to deus ex with that one character...

  • edited 2012-05-09 17:56:55

    So I did a little more on The Dark Prince and think I should maybe summaries the plot of the story so that maybe you can see where I am going with it. 


     


    In a world where basically all myths are true (even the myths you have never heard of) Lucifer is revered as the Second Prince of Darkness, after he is discovered in Hell on a crucifix, with the Spear of Destiny in his chest, a war is started among the Gods over who gets to be the Third Prince of Darkness (and if there should even be one.).


     


    The story is split between six threads:


     


    1) Drsh'k'not, the God of Shadows from a long forgotton (and made up by me) religion, and the FIRST Prince of Darkness, trying to reclaim the throne for himself, with Hela as his queen, with Thanatos acting as his minion

    2) Thor, Hercules and Kalki trying to stop ANYONE of claiming the title

    3) Loki and Set generally making things worse for everyone (serving as comic relief)

    4) Various children of Lucifer defending their father's throne

    5) Anubis, Azrael, Hades, Morrigan and Mictlantecuhtli trying to liberate souls that had been taken to Hell unfairly


    6) David Strum, an unpopular, long forgotten Son of Lucifer, a private detective who deals in magical cases, David is investigating the death of his father.


     


    The prolouge deals with Lucifer's fall from Heaven and how he first became the Prince of Darkness.


     


    Here is what I have so far:


     



    Imagine the most needlessly extravagant room you can. Imagine a huge dome and white marble. Imagine a rabble of Gods and Demi-Gods and Angels and other Divinities sitting in seven circles, staring at me through their lazy, traitorous, cowardly eyes and then imagine me; the fiery haired, amber winged, Morning Star. Imagine The Morning Star in chains, held down by two of the ugliest Frost Giants ever spat out from Jötunheimr. Imagine my once perfect visage, beaten and bruised by injustice. And imagine him staring at me. My creator; He has gone by so many names; Zeus, Odin, Horus, Shangdi, Dagda, Yahweh, Jehova and many, many more. Hovering over me, in his perfectly sculpted body, his arrogance washed over me and penetrated the crowd.


     


    “Lord Morningstar!” he called, his heavenly voice laced with rage “You stand accused of blasphemy, of treason, of inciting hatred and of attempted genocide. How do you plead?”


     



    So, what do you guys think?

  • edited 2012-05-09 19:32:05
    I'm not sure if Yahweh would be Horus or Zeus.



    Perhaps Aten instead? Atenism was one of the first monotheistic religions as well as the first known one to develop a concept of heresy. Perhaps he was Kronos and Lucifer was Zeus instead? That might fit in with the whole "uprising-against-creator" thing. I also question Dagda, but I don't know anything about Irish myths.



    Could you also include "Yaldabaoth" in the list of names? That's the name of the Gnostic demiurge and I think it sounds cool.



    That said, the text needs some work in terms of word choice and the inclusion of things like dashes. I'll take a look at it when I get my computer back, but for now, read it aloud and see if it flows properly.
  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"

    Throw in something Slavic and you have my approval. This Many Hard Consonants guy, where did his worshippers live? I'm curious since his name doesn't sound like from any human language, so I'm guessing it's in some weird speech like !Kung.

  • edited 2012-05-10 15:11:30
    No rainbow star
    Looks pretty good, although I also question putting Yahweh in there



    He's always struck me as, if all religions are true, the ultimate god (not to mention in the Bible it mentions Yahweh striking down Egyptian gods, so Yahweh and Horus can't be the same figure)



    ~~~~~



    I've hit a snag with my comic. I just realized that the main character is too Mary (Marty?) Sueish. The comic has anthropomorphic animals. Brett was once a human who fucked up a spell and fused with a phoenix (an uncommon event, but it does happen. Usually results in fatality, but if there is an anthro gene in the person then they just become an anthro instead. The special thing here is a phoenix fuses with him)



    He was already good with fire magic (not perfect, but above average), so the phoenix blood boosts him into high potential category. He left the academy as a young teen so less training in magic, so that at least balances out raw power



    In fact, his main weakness seems to be inexperience (sucks at flying, can't use his power to its fullest potential, etc.) which... Is not good



    The mythical animal part isn't that bad - although uncommon, there is a fairly large population of werewolves, anthropomorphic dragons, etc. The other main character is a werewolf and not seen as an unusual sight, for example



    Brett can even come back to life from a fatal injury once in a 48 hour period provided nothing prevents ignition (eg overly wet body, lack of oxygen)



    Thing is, the phoenix part would actually be pretty important in some later storylines - specifically the ability to come back to life



    Any ideas on how to severely limit him? So far, the only idea I have is if coming back is highly painful and puts one out of commission for a while, but that would fuck with the plot a bit (at least the out of commission part would)



    Edit: Magic is common as fuck, as a note
  • edited 2012-05-10 15:41:14
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!

    He's always struck me as, if all religions are true, the ultimate god (not to mention in the Bible it mentions Yahweh striking down Egyptian gods, so Yahweh and Horus can't be the same figure)



    Well, I get the impression that pre-Christianity, he was kinda just assumed to be one of the gods who was out there, though his worshippers said he was the best, because every god's worshippers do that.

  • No rainbow star
    ^ However, you have to take into account the monotheism. One god (Yahweh) is able to do the work of a whole pantheon
  • I'm not even referring to power levels here, I'm referring to iconic roles and character.



    Yahweh can't be Horus because their roles and myths don't match. Yahweh is the ultimate father-figure who watches the growth of humanity, whilst Horus is the young avenging son who gains a throne once his mission is complete.



    Icalasari: first, make your villains smart. If they can find out that this kid can come back to life, have them take precautions against that. Make sure the protagonists can quite possibly die each time.



    Second, give him buttloads of raw power, but little control and no finesse. Make the conflict come from him coming close to burning everything in sight when the pressure hits. Hell, MAKE him burn everything in sight at least once.
  • MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!

    So I just got an idea for a story. 


    'The Miskatonic Reform School for Wayward Girls'.


    The thing is, I'm not sure about the details of such schools. Does anybody know where I could find good resources on reform schools, particularly during the early 20th century?

  • No rainbow star

    ^^ ...Actually, the burning everything can work very well, especially since there is a spell that he would love to use that allows one to control the heat in a fair sized area, but could lead to some very nasty results if done wrong (considering the whole phoenix thing is because he misjudged his own skill and did a spell beyond his capabilities...)


     


    Thanks Kraken, that will work perfectly

  • I've been waiting for a good opportunity to mention that I kind of sort of might have gotten myself published. (In D'Tale has said they'll publish my story, but they haven't given an issue number, so I'm still skeptical.) I'll say more about this if and when it finally comes out.

  • Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment, I will respond to a few of your points:


     



    I'm not sure if Yahweh would be Horus or Zeus. Perhaps Aten instead?





    The reason I picked the Gods that I did was that they all fill a specific role as "King of the Gods". The problem with Aten is that, as far as I am aware, Aten was simply a name they attached to the Sun and that he was an aspect of Ra rather than a being on his own.


     



    Could you also include "Yaldabaoth" in the list of names? That's the name of the Gnostic demiurge and I think it sounds cool.





    The problem with including Yaldabaoth is that he is specifically identified with Samael, an angel from the Torah and that was the thread I was planning on leading with him. 





    Throw in something Slavic and you have my approval. 





    Sure, why not? :P





    This Many Hard Consonants guy, where did his worshippers live?



     


    Are you referring to Mictlantecuhtli  or Drsh'k'not? In any case, Mictlantecuhtli is one of the Aztec Gods of Death, who I am actually reconsidering now seeing as the myths surrounding him are almost identical to the myths surrounding Hades...but yes. Drsh'k'not is a fictional God of Shadows. Fictional in the sense that I made him up.





    I also question putting Yahweh in there



     


    Meh, I don't see the Biblical God as any more special or valid than any other.


     



    (not to mention in the Bible it mentions Yahweh striking down Egyptian gods, so Yahweh and Horus can't be the same figure)





    Well, I was going to address this in the story, with it being that God struck out at the Pharaohs rather than at the Egyptian Gods specifically.  


     



    Horus is the young avenging son who gains a throne once his mission is complete.


     



    In much the same way Zeus came upon his throne no? And, to a lesser extent; Odin. The thing is, there is so  little in terms of Yahweh's origins (i.e.: He just appeared) that I feel comfortable attaching other myths to him. There are things about Horus that, after some thought, make me wary of including him as another name for Yahweh so thanks for helping with that. Can you think of any Egyptian Gods who fill the role better? I was thinking, maybe, Amun?

  • In truth, Aten was worshipped as an all-god whilst the Pesedjet (Ra, Set, Isis and so forth) were driven underground. It was later that Aten was considered an aspect of Ra.



    But I suppose Amun could work.
  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"

    The D And Apostrophes guy. I know you made him up, but what does it mean, that he's fictional here and in story too? I guess not, so there must've been someone who worshipped him.


    @Feo: congrats. This reminds me that some time ago on 'Tropes, some guy got a novel published. Kids in the Goonthread must be having a hard time now, heh heh.

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