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You know, this is why I quit writing. Because all I got was insults. All I got was people saying "this sucks". I never got the slightest praise. I never had anyone say "I think the idea is cool if you work on it a little bit more." All I got was endless critisism.
In the end, I said, "You know what? Fuck this". Writing wasn't fun anymore. It was a chore.
So I stopped. I stopped for a very long time.
But I grew foolish, thinking I could pick it back up.
And I was beaten down with critisism yet again.
I think, I may quite writing again.
And there won't be a next time. I'll leave the craft permanently. Because it's clear no one likes me.
It's still on the table for if and whenever you would like some~.
gamesform of entertainmentanything of all time.But I'm at the end of my rope, and I'm seriously about to Ragequit writing forever.
I don't even know what you're talking about, and to be honest, I'm so depressed as barely care.
So close to ragequitting
So close.
Writing is a chore. Admittedly, some can enjoy the act of writing, the same as some can enjoy any chore.
If it's really hurting you that badly Chagen, don't be afraid to do what's best for you and drop it. :< If you need to take a break, whether temporary or permanent, you have to put yourself first.
Uh, that's what I was saying a few posts ago....that's why I write. To see that I made another person's day better with my writing.
---
Neru's teeth itched terribly. It was absolute and utter agony, the urge to sink them into something warm. Hot-blooded.
She ran her tongue along them carefully, finding the two that were particularly pronounced; her fangs. Neru wanted to see what they looked like, but she could not.
Not without a reflection.
She was unbearably hungry and thirsty, but no matter how much she tried to eat or drink nothing was satisfying her. Her stomach felt as tight and empty as if she hadn't had anything nourishing at all, and breathing was a painful labor. Neru looked terribly sick; the color would not come back to her cheeks and she wasn't sleeping right. It was fortunate that she lived with Haku, who, unlike some others, was too polite to remark on her ghastly complexion.
Her hunger was getting worse and worse by the hour. Initially, she'd thought it was just the food channel on television that was making things worse, but the feeling of being utterly famished followed her from channel to channel. The newscaster, the athletes, the singers: each and every one of them made her hunger pains feel all the sharper. It hurt so very badly that she groaned and slumped onto the couch, hugging herself. It would be easiest to simply try and let sleep overcome her, for a brief reprieve from the hurt-
The bathroom door opened and she bolted upright, her senses swiftly keened to the point of pain. Furls of thick steam spilled out around Haku's legs as she stepped out in nothing but a towel, skin pale, face florid with warmth.
Freshly cooked. Tender.
Meat.
"Hey, Neru." Haku approached and leaned over, sweetly pressing her cool palm to her forehead. She frowned worriedly. "I don't suppose...you're feeling any better?"
It was too hard for Neru to reply: she wasn't sure. She was definitely hungrier, but she wouldn't say she was feeling any worse. There was a rushing, roaring, fluid noise reverberating deep in her ears, her head throbbing benignly where Haku's hand touched. On top of that, her fangs felt bigger, unwieldy in her mouth, so she simply shook her head. Haku's mouth pulled into a thin line of vexation before she resigned to sitting on the floor in front of Neru (allowing her the entire couch), picking up the remote and flipping channels. She settled on a game show and started to fuss with her hair.
Neru had seen her do it so many times before, but today was different. She paid too much attention to how Haku swept the shimmering strands over one shoulder, leaving one side of her throat exposed, vulnerable. The skin was so fair, so untouched that her teeth itched more just looking. She tried to distract herself by watching the game show, but the bright colors and whirring lights were too much, and the bells and whistles were feeding her headache.
"Isn't there anything else on?" Neru groaned bitterly, rubbing her temples.
"I'll try and find something else." Haku said quickly, understanding. She picked up the remote in one hand and began rubbing her neck absently with the other. Neru bit her lip, watching, longing.
"Is your..." Neru almost stumbled over the word, so feverishly was her mind struggling against her bodily urges, "...neck alright?"
Haku looked over her shoulder briefly and blinked, as though surprised Neru had even noticed. "Oh...this? It's just been a bit sore today is all. You've got worse to worry about yourself...."
If only she knew.
"I can rub it for you." Neru blurted out. Haku turned slowly to look at her again, eyes wide, lips open in awe.
"...You really are unwell, aren't you?"
"H-Hey, what's that supposed to mean?! I can be nice too! You know." Neru inwardly begged herself to drop this, knowing that she might very well not be able to control it.
"I couldn't ask you to do that, I should be helping you today."
"It's not like I'm gonna faint from doing you one little favor. Besides, this'll make us even." Why couldn't she stop being so insistent? Haku could get hurt, and all she cared about was how woefully hungry she was, how she wanted to be full. Satisfied. A word she hadn't known very recently at all.
"If...if you're really sure you have the energy, then I suppose you can go ahead. But if you start to feel too tired, don't worry about just stopping or anything, okay?" Haku sat upright and seated herself back between Neru's open legs, putting herself in easy reach, oblivious.
Trusting, kind Haku. Tentatively, Neru reached out and worked her fingertips into the tender part of her throat. She almost swooned from how soft and clean the skin was, still so warm from the recent shower. Using both hands, she massaged her shoulders, kneading her more firmly than before. Haku sighed blissfully, melting under her touch. It was good to see her so relaxed. She really did spoil her rotten sometimes, and barely took a moment for herself.
Haku had so much to give. Neru's eyes wandered once more over the slope of her neck, continued on to the rest of her, all ample and sensuous curves-
"Ohh...Neru..." She closed her eyes and arched her neck as Neru rubbed a particularly tight spot, "...r-right there, ohh, thank you...." She sounded so grateful. "You're...you're really good at this...."
That sound, the rushing fluid sound was back, and it was borderline overwhelming. With a start, Neru realized it was Haku's blood, she could feel it, the renewed flow throughout her loosened, relaxed muscle. The sensation was dizzying; she leaned closer, unable to resist, mouth nearing her ear.
"...Yeah?" Another purr of contentedness. She opened her mouth, tantalizingly close to rubbing her fangs on her neck, finding just the right spot for a deep, rich drink-
Not Haku.
She hesitated and drooped her face onto her shoulder, weak from the enormous effort it was to keep from doing anything.
"Neru, you...you're really tired, aren't you? If you need a break it's alright, I'm feeling much better now anyway-"
"It's fine." Neru said quickly, head snapping up. She feigned interest in the television for a moment before Haku gave the remote a click, turning it off.
"There's nothing on anyway." Haku sighed absently. With no distraction present, Neru's gaze settled once more on Haku's neck, still so close, so accessible. Pressing her nose into the skin, she inhaled deeply. Too much. She could smell the blood now, moving quickly, nervous heart pumping it fast. How badly she wanted to see crimson, stark against the pure and creamy ivory that was only Haku.
Yes, only Haku would do.
"N-Neru...." Haku was very still. She swallowed. Neru looked up and saw that she was staring, wide-eyed, into the empty television screen.
At herself.
The skin broke easily. Before she could react, Neru slumped forward off the couch and grasped her waist with bruising strength, moaning as Haku's warm life trickled down her throat. Everything hurt a whole lot less. Her eyelids fluttered with ecstasy: she felt so nourished, so alive again. Haku's hands fumbled over Neru's, too shocked to cry out. Dully, Neru grew aware she was hurting her, but her teeth itched so much less when they were sheathed within her, Haku's flesh so comfortable and tight around her.
The euphoria of feeling warm again was unreal. She started feeling heat behind her eyes again, her instincts feeling so much more rounded out, complete.
"Nnh...Ne...ru...."
The feeble plea jarred Neru badly. She slid her fangs out of her, supporting her when she slumped to her side weakly, blood trickling down not only her shoulder, but her chin: she'd been biting on her lip in an effort to keep quiet. Haku looked up at her hazily, her eyes still holding the same kindness as always.
"It's...It's alright if...you need mmh, more...." She murmured deliriously.
Trusting, kind Haku.
Neru leaned over her, kissing the scarlet, bloodied lips.
"I'll only take," She slid her tongue over her own lips before licking it up over Haku's once more. "whatever you want me to."
---
Still much fun, yes~. @////@ fufufufuu
@Bob: D'aww~ thank you. n//////n Neru/Haku is my dark horse. <3 They're making up the near-entirety of my yuri folder right now. XD