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Chapter 1:
“Welcome to Brack, college town of the US!”
“Uh....yeah. Listen, I need to see where I can get housing. I'm gonna live here, not just visit.”
“Take a left down this street, keep going five blocks, and you'll see a nice neighborhood. You should be able to get housing somewhere near there.”
“Thanks.”
I kicked my Ozutsu Ronin into gear, took a swig of my soda—the ice had melted and made it all watery—and drove off.
Brack, huh? Kind of an odd name. Oh well, it was certainly peaceful. More peaceful than I expected, given that nearly everyone here was a college student. You'd think you'd be seeing frat boy parties and crazy nightlife clubs everywhere.
As far as Brack's internet site told me, there was plenty to do here, and many people to meet. A good place for a girl like me to live. Especially to practice art and piano.
I'm Mikane Beatrice. I'm 18, average height, kinda skinny, and my hair is a nice, long, and wavy blond. All of my family was blond anyway, so its not like I was gonna be any different. But as long as I looked good, I didn't care. I never got why marketers thought I had to buy thousands of dollars worth of makeup and crap just to look good. Last I checked, men got by fine without it.
Back to me. I had just been accepted into college at The Wolfgang/Mikhail University of Brack. It's an art school. A pretentious art school, filled with hipsters and all other strange types. Perfect for me. I had moved up all the way from Texas to the Northern US—Canada was about only 100 miles north from Brack—and I was gonna make the best of it. But I did come a month early....
I was driving through Brack's lush, peaceful green hills to find buy a home, but I got distracted way too easily by a nice diner. Till's. Whatever the hell that meant. It was a nice, small establishment, wood paneling all outside and a very 1950s-ish interior, at least, it looked that way from the outside. I might as well chat with the locals.
I parked my car and got outside. I hoped some people wanted to chat with me. The place looked packed, and it seemed that everyone was talking with everyone else. How was I gonna fit in, if I'm just the new kid?
I wasn't able to think about this, because something bumped into me from behind. I nearly fell over—well, not without being grabbed from behind as well.
I looked back. A cute girl had saved me. Her hair was long, and blue, and quite silky. And she was more feminine than I was, for sure. She was beautiful, all right. I wanted to do some bad things to her....
“I-I'm sorry. I must have....bumped into you....” She quivered. Her voice was slightly off.....
“Nah. It's fine,” I said. “Just be a little more careful.”
“I haven't seen you before. Are you new?” Her voice was still very shy and soft.
“Yes, I am.....”
Cause she's so totally goffik that she can get away with t-lol Chagen hates girls with makeup and he writes it into his stories even when it's not relevant.
Its... serviceable. A bit trite though.
Well, she may wear leather later...wut we said would be better
I dated a girl with a buzzcut for a while. She was so adorable
This whole sentence is a bit awkwardly worded.
Brack, huh? Kind of an odd name. Oh well, it was certainly peaceful.
More peaceful than I expected, given that nearly everyone here was a
college student. You'd think you'd be seeing frat boy parties and crazy
nightlife clubs everywhere.
Try and describe what makes it peaceful. In fact in a lot of vague sentences, you'll have to try and add some small details.
Maybe you could skip Mikane's vague self description for when the secks happens.
You like the word Wolfgang, don't you?
I parked my car and got outside. I hoped some people wanted to chat with
me. The place looked packed, and it seemed that everyone was talking
with everyone else. How was I gonna fit in, if I'm just the new kid?
More vagueness. Small details. What are people doing? Scattered speech out of context helps.
I wasn't able to think about this, because something bumped into me from
behind. I nearly fell over—well, not without being grabbed from behind
as well.
This sounds a little awkward. Just sayin.
I looked back. A cute girl had saved me. Her hair was long, and blue,
and quite silky. And she was more feminine than I was, for sure. She was
beautiful, all right.
Very, very vague. Describe her moar. No adjectives this time. Try and use verbs as well. What is her face/ hair/ tits n ass doing that stand out to you?
I wanted to do some bad things to her....
Like?