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Peeps who feel guilty for no reason
Includes apologizing for things they have no control over, asking for permission for things no sane person would ask permission for(asking if they can borrow a chair from the living room for their desk because they have a friend over), feeling like they need to return every favour, apologizing for having emotions and then beating themselves up for beating themselves up and being profusely thankful for minor shit to the point it makes one feel uncomfortable.
Calling the behaviour out may produce more guilt, co-dependency lite and pouring out their psychological history.
Of course cultural programming means this appears a lot more in wimminz(hurr iz inherent in mah gender) and peeps who have self-esteem issues on top of it(durr iz teenage angst, not worth going to therapy for), and thus one feels like a gaslighting fixer-upper whenever one gives an answer to the 'wat do?' question. Blegh.
Comments
Sorry!
Technically speaking, It's not like it's for "no reason" even if the given reasons are exaggerated or the person outright imagined they had control or influence in the situation, the phrase no reason isn't the right one to use.
The first few cases are examples of this social construct known as "politeness." See, this occurs when people extend their awareness of their surroundings to other people.
InsanityAddict - God forbid you have to deal with people who have to deal with anxiety in some form or another.
In all likelihood, a sarcastic jab isn't going to change how someone feels.
Many people who have trouble with social interactions and the like will try to overcompensate on "good" social behaviour (apologizing, thanking, asking for things, etc.). If you're not sure of how you're supposed to act in a variety of social situations, or where your standing is within this or that group of people, acting polite is safe, even if you go overboard.
>make a 'People who' thread
>premise is always behaviour that is socially retarded when in excess
>three types of reactions: people who are guilty of said behaviour doing exactly that, people who go on to explain moderate occurances of said behaviour missing the excess part(making OP feel like the socially retarded one) and people that wonder why you're just not off ignoring shit like that if it's that widespread
Let's see how this holds up:
http://itjustbugsme.com/forums/discussion/1784 (checks out all 3)
http://itjustbugsme.com/forums/discussion/2338#Item_5 (checks out 2)
http://itjustbugsme.com/forums/discussion/2860#Item_32 (checks out all 3)
I'm sorry, guys, I should have known better ;_;
If you can't speak plainly, then don't speak at all.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
... I'm not sure what you expected out of the discussion. We're hardly qualify for anything deeper than a very basic analysis, and it's not like we're gonna go "yeah, fuck those guys" (because, again, it's a mildly annoying quirk, and since it's mostly politeness, it's hard to be legitimately mad at it)... maybe give less generic examples, like whatever/whoever triggered the thread, or something?
Don't apologise! I'm sorry, too! Even moreso!
Anyway, I'm a massive guilt-tripper, for whatever reason. I suppose the OP applies to me, but then again, I can't be sure since I can't view my behaviour from an external perspective.
Overly milquetoast flatmate. But meh, topic already has run out of steam.
all I'm getting out of this is that you're mad that someone (because topics like this are never as general as they seem) isn't as alpha az fuqq as you'd like them to be
Well, there's your problem!
Can someone explain to me, again, the inherent wrongness of "People who" threads?
I always figured it (the idea that "People who" is bad, that is) was just some stupid thing someone said once and then everyone just kind of accepted it because it's an easy way to shut down threads.
IJBM: People who complain about people who make "people who" threads.
What if we had just one big "People who..." meta-thread, then?
IJBM: People Who, god knows the kinds of disasters brought by a Doctor Who.
In a way, IA told the problem himself: Half the people in this thread are part of this "People who" category. And now look how annoyed some of those people got with him...
^ Ah. Well, it's up to forumites to determine the validity of a thread in any case, so I'm not seeing the difference here except that it's maybe a bit more personal.
I'm not actually taking issue with what IA's complaining about; there is such a thing as "too polite."
But I am taking issue that IA did not make clear his intentions nor his reasons for making such a thread. The opening post describes certain individuals, but we are left wondering who the hell these individuals are and why he feels the need to point it out.
SL was completely correct: it was a veiled callout thread, beta-baiting in its purest form, and some of you responded so well. A master feat of social engineering and all that.
In serious mode, it's mostly the behaviour of one of my flatmates, but that's not really an engaging thread topic, and it's not about her as well as her attitude. Since I've known more people like her over the years, I'd assume everyone would know at least one wet blanket who displayed similar behaviour and could relate.
But whatevs, topic was apparently DOA and not really going anywhere.
DOA describes most of the threads on this forum.
Already did. Actually, seems that there were quite a few? Is this place really that predictable?
Wait, did you mean a "general people who" or "thread mocking the use of "people who""? There were both. More of the latter, I think.
General "people who" is what I meant. That way, we have one central place for all this shit.
^^Ah damn. When I saw that I wanted to make a shitpost snowclone thread naturally called: People who make "People who make "People who make "People who make "People who" threads" threads" threads" threads .... but that's too long for a thread title
^^ There's one of those, too.
^ Eh, maybe try something similar?
I feel like when I say sorry incessantly (mostly when I'm being taught or in the presence of my peers) it's because I'm nervous more than I actually feel guilty for a transgression.