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Comments
Is it an absurdist joke, or some reference I don't get?
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/spaghetti-stories
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-cancer-that-is-killing-b
The cancer was not a reference to the latter, but I wish to interpret it that way anyway.
I feel like I should be productive
but I don't know how to.
Give me eight names that have eight letters for the first name and eight letters for the last name.
The copy machine gave the spaghetti cancer.
Just finished rereading Y the Last Man. Goddamnit that epilogue issue. Goddamnit.
Brb, I need some time to be a goddamn blubbering pansy.
*sobs in corner*
I'm sorry
What, why are you crying?
Tools, I have no idea what's going on, but as I understand things you have a long background when it comes to suffering from a depressive condition. There's not anything anyone here can do to really fix that, of course, but if you expressed yourself clearly, perhaps someone could point you in the right direction? What we can't have is posts like the one you just made, though, since it's unclear and given your state of mind, it could mean a whole range of things -- some of which might include self harm.
It's really difficult to know what to do in these kinds of situations, from the perspective of both the psychological victim and bystanders, but I don't think anyone really wants to sit back and let something awful potentially happen. So please:
Tell us what's up. If you don't want to, then tell someone you trust more than us what's going on. Just be sure to tell someone, because someone so deep in their neurosis can't be trusted to look after their own best interests. That might sound a little nasty, but it's true beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Okay. So there is a dude on TVT and for a while, we were best friends. Really close and everything. But then, he let his sexual fetishes take over. I won't go into details, but he started filling my Twitter feed and tumblr hompage with porn. So I asked him to stop. He did... For a day or two. He started it again. I asked him to stop. He didn't. Eventually, I resorted to unfollowing him. He had a mardy at me and I refollowed him. He did the same thing again. Now we're locked in this battle and it is wearing me down. I'm trying to explain that what he is doing is really bugging me, but he doesn't listen and thinks I hate him. Which I do now. So now I'm saying "To hell with him" and blanking him out of my life.
When he writes tweets like this: "that feeling when your best friend hates you. *curls up somewhere on the floor*", what else can I do?!
I am also fucking sick and tired of being guilt tripped into apologising for his crap. I endured it for seven months with an emotional abusive boyfriend, who is partially the reason I'm in this fucking mess. So call me a cynic. I'm through with being emotionally abused.
Well, I'd say fuck him and his lack of self awareness and passive aggressive bullshit, but I'm not particularly known for the deep bonds I've established throughout the internet. I don't really know the specifics (who are you, anyway?)... so you should filter what I say through the lenses of your own situation confronting him about it straight up, if he's unwilling or incapable of changing, you're probably better off keeping distance.
Tools what you are doing (unfollowing him and blanking him out) sounds perfectly reasonable really.
Anger, irritation, condescension and exasperation are also reasonable responses to such behavior.
I just... I just don't know what to bloody do.
I... He's made me feel like shit, shortly after I have only just got over abusive ex boyfriend. And now this whole thing has ripped open old wounds and scars. I'm happy with a new girlfriend, but what my ex did to me... And now this guy...
I... I can hear them. I can hear them both in my head.
Yeah, I know the feeling of being used by people, and that feeling piling up.
A few years back I had a girlfriend who was remarkably inconsistent in her behaviour to the point where it left me heavily confused about what my role was in the relationship. I'd do what she'd ask me to do and then she'd turn it around into some kind of conflict. So she might say something along the lines of wanting to spend some time just talking; when I suggested we put some time aside for it to have some conversation, she asked me what it was and told me that I was impatient. In return, I told her that I'd rather set time aside for it, as she had requested. She then suggested that I wanted to reveal that I had cheated on her with someone else.
She had a habit of texting me all the time, too. No biggie; at least she liked to hear from me, even if I'd rather just hang out in person, you know? She'd also get upset if I didn't text her back within decent time, but again, dealable. You roll with the minor things. So one day we're having a text conversation and she kind of just cuts off at some point. Not like her at all. So a while later I send a second text asking what's up and get a lecture about breathing down her neck and how the "relationship isn't that serious". And how she won't let her affection for me "ruin her future". She was in her final year of high school at the time; I was first year university.
When the relationship ended (due to a creative interpretation of something on her part), she was talking about how it would be for the better and all that. What she really wanted me was to suck up and beg for a continuation of the relationship, because when I accepted the breakup, she said "even though I implied I still have feelings for you?" -- yeah nah. Not wasting time on someone who behaves inconsistently to my psychological detriment, then turns around making implications that invite me back in for more of the same. Mind you, I was still in love with her at that point (fiercely, even), but that relationship was snowballing down the wrong hill.
Not that I didn't make mistakes, mind, but nor did I try to be tricky or anything but upfront when it came to what was important. That earned me a lot of ire, but I think I mostly did the right thing and I'm at least proud of that. Anyway, that's just a sample of what that relationship was like. Every fortnight, just about, had at least one dramatic incident or somesuch. It was just too tired and my sincere honesty just kept getting met with manipulation, inconsistency and downright fury. In retrospect I realise that she was a heavily troubled woman, but that didn't justify the way she treated me -- like some kind of accessory, almost, or an empty vessel to shape into whatever she liked.
So yeah, Tools. I know the feels of emotional abuse. And I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed by your friend's initial behaviour, nor are you wrong to feel betrayed by his remarkable inconsistency with his word. Then he turns around and makes you the villain. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt, ect. Not much I can do to help you with it, but I can at least say that your feelings are justified, and we do after all encourage free expression here insofar as it isn't made with malicious intent. And your motivation obviously isn't malicious, so speak freely.
If you do go blockity block block, leechblock errywhere and download user ignore extensions for the fora you're on so you won't even have to look at how he's taking the cutting off. Have a copypasta ready if nosy people try to mediate between the two of you, if they ignore that, also block. If he makes alts to spam you, it's DINGDONGBANNU time. Your emotional wellbeing trumps any sense of entitlement he might have.
Also this: http://captainawkward.com/
I won't go into what my ex did, but he basically turned me into a depressed wreck after 7 months of belittlement and guilt tripping. And pinning the blame on me and my depression. Which turned me into to bitter girl I am today. *sigh*
Sorry, I just needed to get that all of my chest. Thank you, guys. You're the best. *hugs all*
Any time, Tools.
Oh god... crying so hard i cant see the keys
Calmed down
Jesus. Sorry I can't be more helpful, but I hope you feel better.
I'm not qualified at all to give relationship advice, but I, too, hope you feel better, and that things work out for the best this time around.
Fuck that guy, Tools, he isn't deserving of your tears.
@Tools:
Brian K. "punch you in the gut emotionally" Vaughan.
The very last panel was oddly uplifting though.
I wouldn't say "oddly". Then again, I just imagine that in the end, Yorick went on crazy adventures, married a woman who somewhat resembled Big Barda and then went on to fight crime by escaping from things.
Also, maaaaaaaaaan, I am suddenly thinking that season 3 of the Wire is my fave. If only because Hamsterdam is such an outlandish concept, considering the show, and the fact that they manage to actually pull it off and make it fit is just great.
I told you motherfucker, I motherfucking told you!
Season 3 has the advantage that it's the culmination of the Barksdale arc, and had a lot more time to build everything up. At the end is hard to not feel at least a bit of sympathy for every single character involved.
Somewhat related, just finished Season 5 of The Shield. It was impossible not to see coming, but you keep wishing it won't all along the way.
Bastion - yeah, the epilogue was a punch in the gut but it was still bittersweet. Like the flashbacks showed the low points in Yorrick's life, but he got what everybody got, a chance to live and find love and get his heart broken.
Also by reading YtLM in a compressed schedule it is really clear that Vaughn really likes the "confession while delirious" trope. Like every main character gets a chance to have one eventually.
Or alternatively Yorick grew a pair of ram horns, 355 got better and grew some fairy wings and they had adventures in space with their kid.
Weird things you learn working retail: everyone is an alcoholic in December.