Gay deer homophobia

Bob

Hmm... I know! We'll take some deer aphrodisiac powder and sprinkle it on Don so all of the other gay deer flock to him! It's foolproof!

Icalasari

PERFECT IDEA!

*sprinkles it all over Don in amounts that should attract every gay deer in a 500 mile radius*

DonZabu

I can hear them stampeding right now.

Oh hold I feel something...snif...ACHOO!

-sneezes some of the powder onto Ica-

Icalasari

...This will be interesting

Bob

Indeed.

-sets up a camera and steps back a comfortable distance away from the two-

Icalasari

*Sees all the deer come*

DonZabu

Say Ica, when this whole thing blows over, what's say we find a way to send Bob on a one-day ticket to the Gay Deer Lockup in South Dakota? Get her in on the experience too.

Bob

-sees things that human eyes and doe / straight deer eyes were not meant to see-

Oh god it's worse than I though!

...Youtube, here I come, hehehe...

^But, I'm not a guy! How would that even work?

Icalasari

^ There ARE female gay deer, also known as Lesbian Deer

Bob

...Oh yeah, forgot about those.

Yeah, no, I'm good, thanks. I mean, I love deer and gay deer and lesbian deer and whatnot, but... Yeah, no.

Icalasari

^ Are you saying that you are homophobic to lesbian deer?

Bob

Of course not! I'm just not attracted to them, that's all! I can't believe you would call my LGBTQ-deer support into question! That really hurts, man! ;_;

DonZabu

Well in any case, I sent those photos of you harassing those baby deers to the South Dakota supreme court. No need to thank me. ^_^

Icalasari

^^ Ah, alright then

Bob

I never did any such thing! I'm calling your bluff, Don!

Icalasari

Think Bob! Did any deer that claimed to be over 18 but still seemed to act suspiciously under age hit on you?

DonZabu

Too late, they're sending the convoy to pick you up right now. If you need to write to us, hide this stationary behind the small of your back; that's a deer blind spot.

Have fun!

Bob

Not that I can remem- no, wait, there was that one at that party, but I told her I wasn't interested, so there's no wa-

OH DEAR GOD SHE SAID SHE WOULD HAVE REVENGE AND NOW SHE'S FRAMING ME! ICALA, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL! I WON'T GO BACK!

Icalasari

...Wait, won't go BACK?

DonZabu

Bob has a history, it seems.

Bob

...I did some things in my past that I am not particularly proud of. I totally didn't rob anyone or set anything on fire or kidnap the daughter of a foreign country's president or nuke an island or convert every female to lesbianism in a country where homosexuality is strictly forbidden or anything like that, that's just absurd.

<_<

>_>

DonZabu

-suddenly pulls both of her arms up, exposing the hoof-print tattoos on her armpits-

Icalasari

All you need on that list is a history of doing surgery on men while they sleep to turn them into women

Bob

^^Oh, those? Those are wash off. Adrian dared me to get them. :P

^Uhh...

<_<

>_>

Icalasari

Well at least you've never genetically altered woman to have vagina dentata

Bob

...

In my defense... Okay, I've got nothing.

._.

DonZabu

It's alright, Bob.

-slowly raises my own arm, revealing the hoof-print tattoo on my armpit-

Bob

-gasp- You mean, I'm not alone? Oh, this is the happiest day of my life!

-hugs Don, then subsequently uses him as a human shield as she hides behind him and under a table-

Now hide me, I think the police are almost here!

Icalasari

Bob, I need you to tell me the truth

Are you working on a spell or serum that turns all men into women?

Bob

...Uh...

Define "truth"...