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My friend's sister has a crush on me.

MalkavianMalkavian
edited 2011-08-30 22:46:44 in Meatspace
MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
So, those of you paying attention to my prattling in IJBMer updates might know that I was in a religious retreat for what amounted to almost a week thanks to the hurricane.

Of course, during the free time sections of the retreat, I gathered with my twenty-something friends who I generally only see in said retreats. Occasionally there's a plus one which is one of my friends' little sisters.

Basically she was hanging with our group a lot more than usual. She was sitting at our meal table, in the incredibly nerdy conversations, and even came to our room-viewing of a torrent of 'Let's Kill Hitler'.

So as I'm driving my friends back, I mention 'Man [NOTHING TO SEE HERE CITIZEN] was really hanging around us a lot this weekend, wasn't she?'

"Um, Jerry" one of my friends said. "She wasn't hanging around us. She was hanging around YOU."

A moment goes by and these words pass my incredibly thick skull and settle into my brain.

"Wait... seriously?" I say.

"You mean you seriously didn't notice?" another friend says.

And the car is quiet for a few minutes.

The next meeting will probably be awkward.
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Comments

  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Hmmm...last time a girl followed me around like that was...preschool, I think.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    The girl's also significantly younger than me. Sixteen-seventeen I think.

    Get your jailbait jokes out now.
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Ah, see, that's important information, for both comedic and serious purposes.
  • GLORIOUSLeaderGLORIOUSLeader
    When in Turkey, ROCK THE FUCK OUT
    You probably shouldn't have said that.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    Sixteen is the age of consent in most US states.

    -nudge nudge-

    -wink wink-
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Yeah, it's the AOC in this state.

    Doesn't make it a good idea.
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    What really matters, then, is the "half plus seven" rule.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    The girl's also significantly younger than me. Sixteen-seventeen I think.

    I know that feel, bro.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    @INUH.

    Reverse Age Rule?

  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    Shit, I forgot Malkavian wasn't a girl.

    Although that might make the IJBM more interesting.
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    ^ Lol
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    ^^Wait, do I really sound that feminine?
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    I thought you were a girl until like a couple of weeks ago.
  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    It's mainly the avatar.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    B-but Juan continuously calls me his brother!
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Huh?

    Must've somehow missed that or tuned it out or something.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    ^^^No one thinks people with pony avatars are girls, but having hot women makes me count?
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    edited 2011-08-30 23:41:10
    Belief
    Rerailing here. but for the people saying you shouldn't have mentioned the age thing, that's probably a smart move in the end.
  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    ^^Pony avatars are strictly for men. Ever see a girl use one?
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    ^^A smart move to not mention to age or to mention the age?
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    @Malk. How many people do you think would be encouraging you otherwise?

    If you hadn't mentioned the age.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    edited 2011-08-30 23:48:03
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Well, so far there's only been one person who has and he wasn't serious so...

    really, I just mentioned it because it makes it more awkward for me and provides context for why.
  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    Being honest here, is the age difference really your biggest concern?
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    Well, considering some of the people quite obviously thought you were a woman, it's obvious why some of the people didn't encourage you.

    But context is always good.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    edited 2011-08-30 23:52:10
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    ^^Less age and more the difference in experience, maturity, etc. Even so, I'm pretty sure I'd get really really weird looks in the extremely unlikely event something were to happen.

    Also I'm not really attracted to her.

    Also her older sister knows Karate.

    ^B-but I have a penor. ;_;
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    difference in experience
    Heh. Heheh. Heheheheh.

    So. Many. Possible. Jokes.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    INUH.

    Her sister.

    Is.

    A black belt.
  • ClockworkUniverseClockworkUniverse
    OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    That doesn't make what you said not funny.
  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Okay, fair enough.
  • GelzoGelzo
    edited 2011-08-30 23:57:18
    Pony Sleuth
    Does that make any difference? Why would you expect someone to assault you because you're dating someone in their family? That's generally not something people do.

    Not being attracted to her is probably your best reason.

    "So. Many. Possible. Jokes."

    INUH, there's only one joke here to be made, and you know it.
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