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Best Sex Toy EVER (NSFW)

IanExMachinaIanExMachina
edited 2011-08-28 18:33:21 in IJAM
I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
Not for it's use, but for it's description.

MANRAMMER

Make me think of some epic artefact sword from a RPG.
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Comments

  • CrimsonCrimson
    Give us fire! Give us ruin! Give us our glory!
    >Was expecting a picture of a hand.
    >Leaves disappointed.
  • BeeBee
    It would be cursed of course.  And probably have a hefty Charisma penalty.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    edited 2011-08-28 18:48:55
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    ^
    No it would be a blessed item!

    However you could 'use' the item, and then it would lower constitution on hit due to it's unique 'used' status.
  • BeeBee
    Fortitude save or become afflicted with Disease.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    (Although if I were ruleslawyering the player would be afflicted with a disease to start off with?)

    Or any enemy hit has to spend a turn going 'Ewwurgh' and wiping their armour clean.
  • BeeBee
    Unless you're an Exemplar.  Then getting smacked with the used dildo causes conversion.
  • inkblotinkblot
    000
    You could base an entire college class on the symbolism of that sex toy.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    ... what.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    ^
    Hey you do swords (hur hur).

    How would you fight with MANRAMMER?
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    I guess I would use it as a thrusting weapon, moreso like a dagger than a sword. In this case, I'd have to wrestle my adversary down and use the weapon on any gap I could find, hopefully ending the encounter in short order.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    ^
    That was lovely!

    However:

    > hopefully ending the encounter in short order. 

    I feel for your 'sparring' partner.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    A skilled adversary could force a lengthier encounter. 8D
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    I suppose training on your own doesn't really help when going up against another body.

  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    Solo training is a necessary element of furthering one's skill, although it is indeed useless without some element of practical experience. By training alone, one furthers understanding of one's own limitations and seeks to test those limitations in the next encounter.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    edited 2011-08-28 20:25:07
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    cocks
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    So you'd definitely be up for some sword fighting?

    However by purely focusing on your own technique solely you might be unable to take full advantage of a gap in your opponent.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    That's a good point. One has to study their adversary's patterns in order to best exploit their weaknesses, although all adversaries will be different and thus the process will start anew time and time again.

    For this reason, solo training is important as by knowing oneself, one can keep at least some variables constant in all engagements.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    (Ignoring the sword stuff this makes you sound like a proper rapist :p:
    'That's a good point. One has to study their adversary's patterns in order to best exploit their weaknesses')

    What equipment would you say it would be best to mentally prepare for? Other swords or entirely unique equipment layouts?
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    (Oh hush, at least I'm keeping up. <_<)

    It doesn't really matter what particular equipment your adversary is bringing, as the same fundamental rules apply. You merely have to observe for common factors and apply what you already know.
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    However you can't deny that adaptability is useful as whilst the opponent may have the same equipment the same methods of finding easy access to their gap will not be effective.

    How about protection? Should people be using shields and the like?


  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    edited 2011-08-28 22:37:02
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    Well shit, you got me. xD The sword answer is no longer applicable to the sex answer.

    Well played, Ian. -hat tip-
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    *takes a bow*
  • The_EdgeThe_Edge
    Mr. The Edge goes to Washington
    Well, that was an unsatisfying end...
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    For you, perhaps. xD
  • CounterclockCounterclock
    Belief
    What just happened here?
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    Witty banter
  • RocketDudeRocketDude
    Poot dispenser here
    MadassAlex considered the possibility of dueling with a sword dildo, I think.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    It's more of a dagger, really. Not my area of expertise, I'm afraid.
  • RocketDudeRocketDude
    Poot dispenser here
    Dagger, sword, similar things, just sharp, pointy objects.
  • MadassAlexMadassAlex
    One foot in front of the other, every day.
    Don't make me get technical. I can derail this thread like that. -snaps fingers-
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