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Fighting game logic

SchitzoSchitzo
edited 2011-05-12 20:30:41 in Media
They're somethin' else.
1. A jab hits once. That makes perfect sense. But a body blow can hit twice in the same swing. and a fucking uppercut can hit you SEVEN times, 4 of those hits will come from the attacker's underarm.

2. Apparently, taking up a static stance can block anything. A right cross. a shoulder tackle. A thrown knife. A tornado. Anything.
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Comments

  • DYREDYRE
    I don't see how this makes less sense than any other kind of video game logic.
  • ChagenChagen
    [tɕagɛn]
    3. Getting lightly tapped in the ankle by a weak kick will cause you to fall down in pain while uttering a death scream.

    4. Battle is only in two planes. Always.
  • GLORIOUSLeaderGLORIOUSLeader
    edited 2011-05-12 20:46:01
    When in Turkey, ROCK THE FUCK OUT
    Wait, I misread the title. Nevermind. 
  • DYREDYRE
    edited 2011-05-12 20:33:46
     
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-05-12 20:35:36
    Has friends besides tanks now
    6. It's perfectly possible to suspend someone in the air simply by hitting them repeatedly.

    7. People use the same fighting moves in every situation.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-05-12 20:36:58
    They're somethin' else.
    8. The wind up of a sword swing hurts just as much as the actual swing itself. (lol, Homo-Genius)

    ^ regarding point six: Everest, I think i love you
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-05-12 20:45:59
    Has friends besides tanks now
    :3 Thanks.

    6a. For that matter, an uppercut or an axe kick will inevitably make your opponent airborne.

    9. If you concentrate hard enough on your punch before throwing it, you, too, can send full-grown adults flying thirty feet away from you.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    10. If it's out of the camera's view, it's a wall. Take our word for it.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-05-12 20:50:37
    Has friends besides tanks now
    9a. Despite the amount of force that it would take to send an adult flying, they'll probably live, don't worry.

    11. Making up names for your attacks and calling them out in battle is totally not distracting or unnecessary.

    I'm running out. I might be able to come up with more, but I like our list so far.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-05-12 20:52:55
    They're somethin' else.
    12. A kick and a hilt strike is as mortal as any sharp instrument of death you've got on you.
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    10. You can stab somebody in the head or catch them on fire as many times as you want, but it won't be harmful unless you reduce their health to 0.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-05-12 20:55:05
    They're somethin' else.
    14. Sure, your fancy little haymakers may have made you spin a good 360 degrees each punch, but you're not disoriented badly enough to miss your mark.
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    15. A Gun will only do as much damage as the hand holding it.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-05-12 20:58:54
    Has friends besides tanks now
    16. If you somehow wrap your arms around your opponent before they hit or shove you back, watch as they become powerless to stop you from demonstrating your outlandish wrestling moves.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    17. No seriously, how much did it cost you to install pyrotechnics on your lead hand?
  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    18. If you land but one hit on your opponent, they become completely unable to block any subsequent attacks, so just go to town on 'em.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-05-12 21:05:26
    They're somethin' else.
    Seriously, Everest XDDD

    19. why yes, it perfectly is valid to follow up a left body blow with a left straight you haven't taken up the stance for. Your body will shift by itself.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-05-12 21:12:13
    Has friends besides tanks now
    20. Oh yes, that's brilliant. Jump five feet in the air, without retaining your defensive stance, so you can kick your-- WAIT, HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET UP THERE?!
  • CommandoDudeCommandoDude
    CRIMINAL SCUM!
    21. You can piece a man's chest with your bare hand and rip organs from his inside.
  • DonZabuDonZabu

    22. Using your hair in a fatality move.

    23. HADOUKEN!

  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-05-12 21:16:15
    They're somethin' else.
    @ Don: 22 is Guilty Gear, right?

    24. The mini harpoon you used to get them over here isn't fatal at all. You may have impaled them in the jugular, but shit, the damage is cosmetic. Negligible.
  • CommandoDudeCommandoDude
    CRIMINAL SCUM!
    25. A single spectator watching your fight will narrate it without a sense of irony.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    26. People in Las Vegas will almost always bet on the loser. They're just that unlucky. You monster.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-05-12 21:22:13
    Has friends besides tanks now
    I've mostly been using examples from Tekken, but that's the game I have the most experience with, and it works well enough.

    27. Wait, did you just break his leg with that fancy little grappling move of yours? Whatever, he can walk it off. In fact, he'll probably kick you with that same leg.
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    edited 2011-05-12 21:18:51

    @Schitzo: Mortal Kombat, actually.

    28. Having long, expendable arms, and using them for striking attacks against your opponent as opposed to, say, strangling him.

  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    16a. You know, you didn't have to stop at the piledriver. Technically, you're still holding them.
  • All NinesAll Nines
    Has friends besides tanks now
    16b. See, now look what you've done! That brutal head injury only seems to have made him angrier.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-05-12 21:25:29
    They're somethin' else.
    29. How the fuck aren't your gigantic boobs hitting you or anyone else in the face with those acrobatics of yours?
  • All NinesAll Nines
    edited 2011-05-12 21:31:46
    Has friends besides tanks now
    30. Fuck armor, it's cramping your style. So what if he has a katana?
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    31. You have the strength to pick yourself up off the ground, but you've got enough balance to be one dizzy motherfucker standing up.
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