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IJBMer Updates

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Comments

  • You can change. You can.
    Can't play Spelunky, princess will kiss me. Can't play Spelunky, princess will kiss me. Can't play Spelunky, princess will kiss me. Can't play Spelunky, princess will kiss me. Can't play Spelunky, princess will kiss me. Can't play Spelunky, princess will kiss me. Can't play Spelunky, princess will kiss me. 
  • Should I link to Raocow's Spelunky playthough?

    y/n.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    No, because I don't like raocow's style and I already know like every trick to Spelunky (except for bomb arrows and anything involving playing as the tunnel man.
  • No rainbow star
    I suck at Spelunky :D
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Good.  So do I.  Well, I actually don't suck that much when I'm trying to be careful, since I know most of the patterns and strategy already.  It's just that I don't really care much and I usually play it as a way to waste some time so I just do whatever.  Such as fighting giant spiders with melee and projectile weapons.
  • No rainbow star
    I once threw a bomb, only for it to bounce back and ASPLODE me! :D
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Well, don't do that.
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    I've died dumber deaths than that. Killed myself with a rock once.
  • edited 2011-09-18 14:15:05
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I once hit a spike trap that was supposed to be lodged beneath a boulder.  I count that as an achievement.

    Another time, I got boulder'd just as it appeared, because I had thrown a rope up right in front of the background sculpture's head.
  • My wifi adapter that I was pretty sure was completely broken somehow managed to come back to life for no reason whatsoever.  So... yay?  Although it doesn't matter a whole lot at this point since I just bought a USB wifi adapter anyway.  I guess I'll keep it though just in case my internal one screws up again.
  • No rainbow star
    I tried to outrun the boulder :D
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    What happens if you hit a moving boulder with a sticky bomb?
  • No rainbow star
    There are sticky bombs?
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Yeah, you can get them by killing a giant spider or buying the upgrade in a shop. Looks like a bag made of spidersilk labeled "B."
  • edited 2011-09-18 14:33:16
    No rainbow star
    There are giant spiders!?

    I assume they are not the ones that fall off the ceilings
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Well...they do fall off the ceilings. But they're bigger. You'll know them when you see them.

    They're actually significantly easier to kill than the small ones if you know what you're doing.
  • No rainbow star
    Farthest I've gotten is to the first level of the jungle section :D
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    Same here. They appear before that.
  • No rainbow star
    So they appear right in the first section?

    ...And I haven't seen one yet? D:
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    You know you can jump over a boulder if your timing is good, right?

    > What happens if you hit a moving boulder with a sticky bomb?

    I have no idea...I'll have to try that.

    Also, giant spiders randomly appear in the first four levels.  Each set of four levels has mini-bosses that appear, usually only under certain conditions.  There are only two minibosses that appear without conditions (except once), and that's giant spider and another one in the fourth area.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I just spent like a minute and a half repeatedly betting at a gambling shop and getting myself some 64 total bombs, bomb paste, and spike shoes.

    The next level is very uneventful and allows me to easily pick up the key at the top and get the udjat eye from the chest at the bottom.

    This is going too well.  The level after that, I bungle a theft from a shop and am thrown by a shopkeeper...onto spikes.
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    I usually wait to find a shop that's selling a shotgun before stealing.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I try to steal from every shop in Spelunky.  Strategy:

    Terrain type: ground, blocked, empty (the terrain outside the shop)
    Shop type: shop, kissing parlor whorehouse, and gambling booth
    Special items of note: web shooter, pistol, shotgun
    Items that will affect jump physics: cape, spring shoes, jetpack (if you're not careful)
    Shopkeeper reputation status: docile, angry
    Angry shopkeeper action status: slow, activated
    Most worthless shop to steal from: four parachutes

    For gambling booths, gamble until you run out of money or time, or if the item is useless.  They seem to have a higher chance than normal of generating 12-bomb boxes.  Remember never to pick up a die again after you've thrown it; that coutns as cheating and will you get you a face full of lead.  Keep the two dice separate to avoid this.  Don't remove a die from the shop either; that's stealing.  If already angry, then you (who should already be armed with a shotgun) should just wait for the shk to get down from that ledge.  Try not to activate angry gambling booth shks.

    For shops:
    * special item: just apply the shotgun point blank (but not too close that the bullets fly past the shk and instantly land you a face full of lead due to having used an item in the shop before buying it.  For pistol, MOVE SHOP ITEMS OUT OF THE WAY FIRST, leaving empty space around shk for shotgun to fall.  Shoot shk, drop pistol, grab shotgun, shoot shk.  For web shooter, jump and almost simultaneously shoot shk in the face, then bounce 20 times (less if you have spike shoes).
    * ground: Grab item closest to entrance that (1) does NOT affect jump physics AND (2) is NOT an item that you end up carrying (such as arrows).  Examples if such items include: spectacles, climbing gloves, pitcher's mitt, bomb bag, bomb box, ropes, etc..  Run out.  Remember, YOU RUN AS FAST AS BULLETS FLY HORIZONTALLY.  Jump over first batch of bullets.  Jump onto shk's head, and DON'T MISS.  Grab shotgun.  Fire shotgun at shk.
    * blocked: same as ground, but just be more careful, though shotgun has pickup priority over shk's body anyway so it shouldn't be too hard.
    * empty: Significantly more difficult.  Expect shk to just run off the platform and into nothingness while you grab his stuff...and wonder when he'll get his revenge.  You just have to play these by ear, thinking carefully about where the shk has ended up.
    * angry shk: Hopefully you didn't activate the shk, so you can just fire a bunch of shots into the store.  Remember that you can make use of the frozen region to make the bullets hit the shk.

    For whorehouses:
    * docile shopkeeper pimp: Run out with damsel.  This follows the same procedure as stealing from a shop, except (1) you need to drop the damsel before you pick up the shotgun, and (2) you can't let the damsel get hit by the flying bullets (or you either, of course, but the damsel has 8 HP and thus can take one bullet but you shouldn't bet on that).
    * angry shopkeeper pimp: I still haven't figured how to deal with this case reliably.  Walking straight into the shop would work but the damsel takes all the bullets and dies.  One thing that might work is to somehow throw a bomb to hit the entrance, activating the shk and causing him to run out.  Bonus points if you can do that, then time the activation just right using the frozen region and scrolling so he runs into its explosion.  This is obviously easier to do in an empty case if you have sticky bombs than if you have nonsticky bombs; however, sticky bombs are a liability when you have a blocked case.

    Sources: Over 3000 playthroughs, most of which involved multiple instances of stealing from shops.
  • edited 2011-09-18 19:01:36
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!
    Started Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne. It's a much more... desolate game than the other ShinTen games. Not sure how I feel about that.
  • edited 2011-09-18 21:38:21
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I arrived in the City of Gold.  I had a jetpack, a shotgun, and 83 sticky bombs.  I had found the Udjat Eye, uncovered the Black Market, taken the Anhk (by force but then again it applied to everything else), used the Anhk to acquire the Hedjet, killed the Giant Mummy, taken the Scepter, opened the way to the City of Gold, regained a shotgun, and walked through.

    I was careful to remove all the traps, especially wariliy bombing out thwomp traps and totem traps.  I was careful also to kill every caveman and worshipper that stood in my way.  With the kalpala, I happily drank up their blood and added it to my life points.  They increased from 2 up to like 14.

    The RNG was not happy.

    I was blithely flying back up to a higher area in the level, to collect gold that I'd bombed out.  From out of nowhere...

    killed by a falling gold brick.

    You see, those square-looking blocks that are occasionally moveable?  Yeah, when they occur randomly they're also randomly moveable.  And everything in the City of Gold is made of gold.  Including the moveable blocks.

    BTW, being smashed is instant kill.  If you have 25 life you can survive a face full of lead.  But nothing will let you survive being crushed.  In mid-air, no less, just to humiliate you further.

    This has got to be worth some sort of epic random event achievement.  It probably also means that the game is telling me to stop playing.
  • I want to post the reason why I left here, but I'm afraid it'll come off as cliched and melodramatic.
  • OOOooooOoOoOOoo, I'm a ghoOooOooOOOost!
    And now you're making us curious.
  • You can change. You can.
    Do it, mexican fag

    Also, this just in: IRC? Hard as fuck.
  • edited 2011-09-19 00:19:46
    Mexican fag
    OK, so after Entries got locked I kind of got disillusioned by TVT. I just wanted a place where I could make fun of stupid things in peace, but now I know that such a thing is unattainable. Plus, the whole antinegativity thing was getting on my nerves. So I left TvTropes. I left IJBM because it reminded me too much of TVT.

    I've come to terms and accepted that the "making-fun-of-things-paradise" I wanted was just a fantasy, which is why I could come back here.
  • Give us fire! Give us ruin! Give us our glory!
    ^Try Something Awful then? Making fun of stuff is their whole shtick.
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