Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States.

Comments

• Waltzy

  2012-03-31 15:08:09

  Was it bad that my first thought when I saw the thread title was Rick Santorum?

  
  

  he seems like the type to try something that dumb I mean
• MillerCross

  2012-03-31 15:16:32

  You can change. You can.

  Dophinetly not, Waltzy.

  
  

  Either way, fuck yeah, Patton fighting dolphins. Or training them. I don't know and I don't care.
• Waltzy

  2012-03-31 16:20:54

  Hey you did that on porpoise.
• Saigyouji

  2012-03-31 17:27:45

  But you never had any to begin with.

  Although, the problem with Santorum doing that is that if he somehow became president, the dolphin would try to kill him. ...A problem for Santorum, not the rest of the planet.
• MillerCross

  2012-03-31 17:32:01

  You can change. You can.

  nah, Santorum plan would be more along the lines of:

  
  

  Step 1: Train dolphin

  
  

  Step 2: Dolphin kills Obama

  
  

  Step 3: ???

  
  

  Step 4: Presidency!
• Malkavian

  2012-03-31 17:34:29

  MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!

  Man having Biden as Vice Prrsident would be several months of him embarrassing everyone in the US with silly jokes instead of just Obama.
• Icalasari

  2012-03-31 17:34:30 edited 2012-03-31 17:34:37

  No rainbow star

  ^^^^ No use whaling about it now
• lrdgck

  2012-03-31 17:34:58

  "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"

  That's not a whale-thought out plan.
• CountryPumpkin

  2012-03-31 17:41:04

  I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

  Intersetingly, the movie itself, a science-fiction thriller about a guy training dolphins to communicate, then them getting kidnapped and trained for military uses, is startlingly prescient. Dolphins are used by the military today to locate mines and lost swimmers. The good news is that this is pretty cool, but the bad news is that we're training animals to sacrifice themselves in the name of global capitalist hegemony for the United States.  At least they're mostly being used for peaceful purposes.

  
  

  By the way, the Wikipedia article mentions that the Soviet Union may have sold its excess military marine mammals to Iranians. So we could be facing a war of the superpowered cetaceans soon.