Jonah Falcon

Bob · 2011-09-06 03:41:40

Like they say, practice makes perfect. Just leave it be for a while, and in the mean time, find something else to fill the hole.

Icalasari · 2011-09-06 03:52:31

^^ Are you insulting this thread!?

Counterclock · 2011-09-06 03:56:26

@Bob: I'll have to practice a lot more if I want to hold onto this thread, but once I can ease up and relax myself, I'm sure it'll easily fit into my life ^_^

@Ica. Of course not, I love big threads, they give me this full feeling that I can't truly explain.

Electivirus · 2011-09-06 03:57:13

My job here is done.

inkblot · 2011-09-06 04:32:36

What are we going to do in this thread? =3

Icalasari · 2011-09-06 04:35:16

Elecitvirus: He doesn't have virus in his name for nothing

MillerCross · 2011-09-06 07:21:21

...

why is this thread about my penis

oh god what have i done

Chagen · 2011-09-06 07:52:46

AIGH

BOTH DOUJINSTYLE AND YOU GUYS

WHATS WITH THE AWFUL PUNS

Myrmidon · 2011-09-06 08:05:27

Here, let me get this back on topic

Actually it is not a joke. Several porn actresses have said that John Holmes never got fully hard due to the impending blackout. Actress Bunny Bleu, in the documentary "Wadd: The Life and Times of John C. Holmes" said that John could not get fully erect due to the blood loss issue and that "doing it [having sex] with John was like doing it with a soft kind of loufah." Since Falcon's penis is somewhat longer than Holmes', and he is shorter in stature, Falcon could possibly be even more susceptible to this problem than Holmes

Chagen · 2011-09-06 08:06:26

Why does this matter? Don't Wikipedians have things to do, like edit more important articles?

Myrmidon · 2011-09-06 08:08:41

This is quite the topic. From what I've seen floating around on the web, pictures that allegedly depict Mr. Falcon's penis make it clear that he has a very well developed penis. However, I somewhat doubt that his penis is as large as he purports it to be. It doesn't appear to be as long as his forearm, and considering that he is (correct me if I'm wrong) 5'9", his forearm likely isn't longer than 10". In addition, the two pictures I've seen that allegedly depict Mr. Falcon's penis appear to have been painstakingly shot from such a perspective that the size of his limbs (thighs, forearms) are diminished in relation to his penis. His legs are clearly staggered in one photo, while his penis is angled toward the camera, casting the illusion that his penis is as long as his femur. In the other photograph that allegedly depicts his penis, though closer to the camera than his forearm, his penis appears to be shorter than his forearm. As I said before (unless he also has abnormally long forearms) his forearm probably isn't longer than 10 inches. In both pictures, his penis appears to be erect. It is certainly a large penis, but I doubt seriously that it is over 9 inches in length. Perhaps a medical record would better verify Mr. Falcon's assertions than an article of "Rolling Stone"

Chagen · 2011-09-06 08:09:55

Seriously. Why does this matter.

I don't post my dick around the web ~~because it's illegal and small~~ why should we care about this guy's dick

Myrmidon · 2011-09-06 08:11:33

I can provideo it, however. At the frequently cited documentary, at roughly minute twenty-one, is a measurement. It is taken sitting down with a non-rigid measuring intrument, and includes a small amount that is arguably not penis. This measurement is taken in a non-erect but not necessarily fully flacid state. Either way, it comes out to slightly above 8 inches. The video can be accessed at this address, although I am unsure as to its safety and it contains many pictures of various humans of various states os nudity. It is the only site I could find that hosted it. http://www.spankwire.com/Documentary-The-World-s-Biggest-Penis/video62429. I have gone through great personal sacrifice to obtain this, as being functionally deaf and indisposed to looking at other people's penises, I had to spend forty minutes to find this. I don't blame you if you don't want to watch it, but for God's sake aty least take it into consideration. It is about the highest level of proof possible to get without deity-like powers. And just for the record, yes, there is a consensus clause in the reliability article

Chagen · 2011-09-06 08:53:37

Oh god.

Please don't tell me this was on the actual Talk Page on Wikipedia.

Myrmidon · 2011-09-06 09:06:49

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Jonah_Falcon

IanExMachina · 2011-09-06 09:19:31

I saw a documentary like that when it was on Channel 4, the person they showed with the 'World Biggest Penis' looked nothing like Jonah Falcon and wasn't called Jonah Falcon, and found it hard to have sex due to blood flow and erectile difficulties.

glennmagusharvey · 2011-09-06 09:37:36

GLORIOUSLeader · 2011-09-06 14:21:32

What the fuck has this thread become?

Bob · 2011-09-06 14:25:34

I'd much rather have a thread full of bad puns than discussion on some random asshole's penis.

MillerCross · 2011-09-06 16:02:56

Define "full of bad puns"

without making a pun.

Nor a punis.

Bob · 2011-09-06 16:07:38

It's pretty self-explanatory. You know, bursting at the seams with puns, growing, throbbing and expanding, packing as many puns as it can into such a tiny space.

(Sorry, punless descriptions are reserved for people who don't suck cock)

MillerCross · 2011-09-06 16:08:42

(Sorry, punless descriptions are reserved for people who don't suck cock)

That implies you don't.

And I know that is a lie. :3c

Counterclock · 2011-09-06 16:11:23

Juan's gonna Juant a big fat juicy explanation Bob.

He wants it shoved into his face.

Bob · 2011-09-06 16:12:21

Counterclock · 2011-09-06 16:20:24

Bob likes to pretend she's a lesbian Juan, Remember?

MillerCross · 2011-09-06 16:26:38

Oh, well, I know she likes the ladies.

She just likes the boys too.

Ponicalica · 2011-09-06 18:59:06

I was about to say, isn't Lady Gaga bi?

MillerCross · 2011-09-06 19:05:12

Eh, Bob uses Gaga as a spokesperson.

think soulbonding, but sadder.

Vivi · 2011-09-06 19:06:17

If it was soulbonding Bob would think Lady Gaga is with her all the time.

MillerCross · 2011-09-06 19:14:53

It's a comparison, not saying that it's trully soulbonding.

--dope slaps vivi-

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