›
If you have an email ending in @hotmail.com, @live.com or @outlook.com (or any other Microsoft-related domain), please consider changing it to another email provider; Microsoft decided to instantly block the server's IP, so emails can't be sent to these addresses.
If you use an @yahoo.com email or any related Yahoo services, they have blocked us also due to "user complaints"
-UE

My roommate started masturbating above me

HatterHatter
edited 2012-01-16 21:16:16 in General
Glaives are better.

I'm on the bottom bunk. It's preferable, and nice and all, but I recently discovered a horrific downside:


When my roommate masturbates, it shakes the entire bunk bed. I mean, I know I set my alarm on "vibrate," but goddamn. It's horrific.


At least when I masturbate, I'm stealthy. I'm like a stealth bomber; you never see me coming. 

Comments

  • BeeBee

    I would hope "no masturbating while your roommate is present, I mean fucking seriously, man" is one of those unspoken but well-known rules of social conduct.  Should it not be, lay it the fuck down.

  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    not sure if serious ijbm or lead up to pun
  • HatterHatter
    Glaives are better.

    It's both.

  • CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
    I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    I thought this thread was titled "My roommate started masturbating about me" and now I don't know if this is worse or not.

  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You should advise him to not do this.


     


    Alternatively, play Spanish Flea.

  • DonZabuDonZabu

    @Bee: Yeah, well I was the under the impression that, of the two water fountains, the taller one was for drinking, and the shorter one was for water bottles. But noooooooooo...

  • ninjaclownninjaclown

    You're on the bottom bunk? Not good, you know about gravity.

  • BeeBee

    If his roommate is putting out enough fluids that way to go through the damned mattress, I'd be more concerned about said roommate's physical health than anything else.

  • DonZabuDonZabu

    Does he sound like this?


  • SadieSadie
    law of silence

    I would hope "no masturbating while your roommate is present, I mean fucking seriously, man" is one of those unspoken but well-known rules of social conduct. 


  • MalkavianMalkavian
    MORONS! I'VE GOT MORONS ON MY PAYROLL!

    Just close your eyes and think of England.

Sign In or Register to comment.