Assuming mental disorders would help you.

Malkavian

"Oh I wish I had OCD because then I could keep things clean and focus."

No you don't you idiot. That's not how OCD works.

MadassAlex

"I wish I was an aspie so I'd have a convenient excuse for my fuckups."

Counterclock

"I wish I had amnesia because I'm tired of all these memories that lock me away from new experiences because of a deeply jaded life view due to the knowledge forced onto me prematurely"

DarkDecapodian

'I wish I was schizoid so that I could lock myself away in my room for three months when Skyrim drops and not lose my social life because of it. Because I'd never have one in the first place. Logic!'

Malkavian

I think self-diagnosed aspies less want an excuse for social awkwardness and more see it as brand of superior intelligence, which of course is a really dumb and ridiculously restrictive way of looking at intelligence.

/armchair psychology

MadassAlex

That could be true. Some aspies ultimately do have one area of superior functioning, but those are the lucky ones. Most of them are deadbeats like the rest of us, but awkward as all hell to boot.

MillerCross

I'm being called a deadbeat and awkward

urm, yeah, see, i may be many things, but those two i ain't >

Malkavian

I've met a number of people with aspergers who were perfectly socially engaging. It's almost like it's an unfair stereotype or something...

MadassAlex

^^ In my defense, I called everyone a deadbeat.

^ I'd say few people with aspergers are pleased to have it, and the challenges it presents are far from insurmountable with effort. I suspect a high degree of the sufferers who begin with social disadvantage actively try to remedy it.

captainbrass

Old joke - "You're never alone with schizophrenia."

Technically correct, if you regard having terrifying auditory hallucinations of voices telling you to do awful things as companionship.

MadassAlex

Technically, the auditory hallucinations could also tell you to do nice things. <_<

MillerCross

is this a voice of experience here, Alex?

Anyway, 

I've met a number of people with aspergers who were perfectly socially engaging. It's almost like it's an unfair stereotype or something...

Like Alex pointed out, most people try to overcome the hardships that come with the syndrome. 

My objection was more akin to the assumption that a grown aspie would be socially awkward, as I think most overcome their problems during their teenage age (At least, the main ones, anyway. Must still suck at starting interactions. )

Gelzo

I very much enjoy being sane. Not that booze and weed aren't fun.

I guess SAD disqualifies me from being disorder-free? Eh, it really isn't as bad as it could be. I'm happy to have a naturally occurring normal mental state to contrast it to.

But then, there are plenty of crazy things that people think and do without there being anything measurably wrong with their head. Regular dudes make judgements they normally wouldn't when angry or tired. I guess there could be a lot of problems that we're familiar with, but just don't have names or treatments for yet. Sort of like back when PTSD was shell-shock?

I dunno if this makes much sense. It's late and psychology isn't my strong suit. 

AHR

I wish I was a genius so I could be smart.

Wait.

Re: Schizos:

Cakman had a therapist who consulted some schizophrenics, and one lady said she now had an image of hitler telling her to do things. 

He asked if she listened to him.

She answered "Of course not! Are you crazy? He's hitler!"

--

It amused me.

Vivi

I wish I was asexual so I...

Wait.

RedEyedAbyss

"I think self-diagnosed aspies less want an excuse for social awkwardness and more see it as brand of superior intelligence, which of course is a really dumb and ridiculously restrictive way of looking at intelligence."

Less intelligent people really don't get how limited in utility intelligence really is. Experience, wisdom, and a critical mind are far more important.

Gelzo

Intelligence is sort of loosely defined, anyway. At least in everyday speech.

RedEyedAbyss

The most popular colloquial definition being "whomever thinks like me".

Shichibukai

I think some people are just out to label themselves, as if it makes you special/unique to have mental dysfunctions. Perhaps it does, in a way.  If a stranger knows you have x mental disorder, they are likely to treat you differently, but not usually in a good way. They might see you as special, but all that will come out of it is close scrutiny of your behaviour and words, because in their mind you are the one who thinks in an unstable  and irrational manner.

"I guess SAD disqualifies me from being disorder-free? Eh, it really isn't as bad as it could be. I'm happy to have a naturally occurring normal mental state to contrast it to."

Do you mean seasonal affective or social anxiety? Severe social anxiety has made large stages of my life perpetually screwed up. I don't really have a normally occuring mental state to compare it to, because social anxiety and whatever else causes dysfunction in my head dominate my thought processes. I don't think I'd wish this on my worst enemy. Though there are people who are much worse off in comparison.

gentlemanorcus

I was going to make a derogatory statement about a TVTropes user, but that would probably count as importing drama.

Gelzo

I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a similar acronym. I meant seasonal affective disorder.

But yeah, I'm not especially eager to assign labels to myself. Generally that kind of thing is an indication that your problem has very specific similarities that occur for a large number of people who are in the minority. I don't think that describes much of what I experience.

For instance, I'm often shy and awkward, but that's such a common experience that you don't have to say it's a kind of disorder.

gentlemanorcus

I tend to find many people online who label themselves asexual are simply people who can't get laid and want an excuse.

I know asexuality isn't a mental disorder, but still.

AHR

...that seems a tad judgmental. Especially since there are definitely people who are asexual. If they have no desire for sex, I don't think they would use that as an excuse.

gentlemanorcus

I stated that wrong. I meant that many people wish they were asexual because they can't get laid.

AHR

Oh.

Ok.

Continue with your assumptions then.

Vivi

I'll admit that I wish I was asexual sometimes because I don't date as often as I would like. The feeling often passes.

Icalasari

I just want an on and off switch for my sex drive

Because it is really annoying when your girlfriend is in another country altogether and you are suddenly horny >.>

MillerCross

hump a lamppost, dunkass.

Shichibukai

Maybe this calls for a third solution to celibate angst:

Ponicalica

"Because it is really annoying when your girlfriend is in another country altogether and you are suddenly horny >.>"

Skype is pretty cool that way.

MillerCross

See, but unless you guys really enjoy webcam sex, then...yeah.