Paper or plastic?

MojoJojo

Hello again, forum-goers. I, Mojo Jojo, am currently in a dilemma of sorts, and I, Mojo Jojo, am in need of assistance which I, Mojo Jojo, hope to acquire from you, which is why I am posting this on this forum.

Now I, Mojo Jojo, was doing my groceries (which is a term used for the exchange of the currency used in one's locale, in this case dollars, for goods that are necessary for life, which usually occurs in supermarkets or groceries) when at the register, this young, pimply fellow asked me "Paper or plastic?" which is how lesser minds, which is to say less intelligent individuals, rephrase the sentence "Do you wish for me to pack the goods which you have purchased in this semi-synthetic bag composed of polymers and other substances or in this bag created from fibers usually acquired from pulp processed at a paper mill and molded in such a way as to make the bag capable of holding the aforementioned goods that you have purchased?". I am indecisive, which is to say that out of the two choices I do not know which one to pick because each of the choices are as valid as the other, which is why I am asking or inquiring YOU, dear reader!

MadassAlex

If each choice is equally valid, wouldn't the rational choice be to choose at random?

MojoJojo

Look, "Bad-ass Alex", I do not do randomness, which is to say choosing at random is not something I do! I am rational, which is to say that I reason!

MadassAlex

Indeed, but if there is no reason to choose one option over another, that is to say that both options have equal validity, then the only rational choice (the option that will produce the most reasonable outcome) is not to make a choice. In this context, however, a choice must be made because you have to carry your goods (the items you bought with currency, such as food, toiletries and other various supplies) in some kind of container (which is either a paper container or a plastic container in this specific instance). Since you are forced to choose between two equally rational choices (that is, you have multiple options which provide exactly the same outcome), then the most rational choice is to not choose by making a random decision (making a choice by equally distributing the chance likelihood of various outcomes and using an external method to produce such an effect).

As you can see, this is a case where random is rational (as expanded upon in the above paragraph).

MojoJojo

I see your point, but your lecture was too brief, which is to say that I found it too short, which is to say that based the standards by which I measure a lecture's length, yours (the lecture, that is) was too short! 

(Incidentally, I chose plastic)

Forzare

I think I have a new favorite sockpuppet.

MoeDantes

Paper. All the time. Every time.

What saddens me is that a lot of stores don't actually let you choose anymore.

MojoJojo

^^ Yes! I am your new favorite sockpuppet, which is to say that your new favorite sockpuppet is me, which is to say that based on the things implied by you, I am your favorite sockpuppet!

Unless you are referring to another sockpuppet, which is to say any sockpuppet who isn't me, Mojo Jojo, in which case CUUUUURRRSSSEEEEEESSSS

DonZabu

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin?

FrodoGoofballCoTV

Here's a thought: have you considered reusable fabric bags?

MojoJojo

^ Oh, please. Do I look like a hippy to you?

Waltzy

NO! Mojo Jojo is a professional evil villain! He can't be seen helping the environment! GAWD. <

If it helps, I've found that the handles on paper bags tear off if you get an idiot that over-packs the bag. Plastic feels better to me, when I leave my reusable one at home.

FrodoGoofballCoTV

Through trial and error, I have discovered that some reusable bags can support the weight of 12 kg, wheras a plastic bag can only support 4 kg and paper only 3.  But the values might vary between stores...

Waltzy

Then...it would seem that Mojo Jojo needs to direct his efforts into creating a container functional enough to carry his world-destroying needs but also so costly to the environment that he doesn't risk looking all hippie-ish!

MojoJojo

YES! I, Mojo Jojo, based on my idea which was mine, will create a bag so efficient and so environmentally unfriendly that all who look upon it will cringe in environmentally-considerate fear!

Waltzy

That's the spirit! I'm sure someone of your mental acuity will come up with something splendidly evil!

World saved, everyone.

>implying it needed saving

TheConductor

Paper bags NEVER get used in the UK. Except for mix-ups...and popcorn.

EDIT: And sometimes chips.

MojoJojo

^ By chips, do you mean the thinly-cut,deep-fried potatoes that are referred to as chips here in the United States of America, or the British term for french fries? (which, despite having the name "French fries" ,actually originated in Belgium)

TheConductor

I mean chips.

MojoJojo

I see.