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"Women are superior to men. In every way, shape, and form." [sic]

13

Comments

  • Obviously he's sick of people bashing his lifestyle so much.
  • edited 2011-09-01 16:31:15
    ^^ First of all, as far as I can tell, the phenomenon as we know it has only really existed for the last 20 years or so.

    With that in mind, we can move on to the central dichotomy: nice guys vs. jerks. Most of the people who detract nice guys believe that the nice guy's conception of "jerk" is unjustified and doesn't really exist, and for a lot of individual cases, that's probably the truth. But I think there's more to it than that; there has been a rise in so-called jerk behavior in men, namely with the pick-up artist movement, that has, in itself, also existed in its most recognizable form only in the last 20 years or so.

    That means that something happened in the nineties that led to these two diametrically opposed strains of thought. From my research, two things happened in the nineties that likely had an effect on the whole thing: the Internet, and third-wave feminism.

    So I guess my frustration comes from the way that people treat the nice-guy phenomenon, as if it existed in a vacuum and that the thought processes behind it were completely unwarranted, and didn't have grains of truth to them that the nice guys simply blow out of proportion.

    Make no mistake, I think the behaviours and mindsets the nice guys espouse are terrible. I'm just saying that the phenomenon is more complicated than most people make it out to be. And that's what frustrates me about it.

    (Gonna get so many pitchforks and torches up my ass for this...)
  • $80+ per session
    I'll be sure to purchase your book when it hits the shelves next summer.
  • Cool story, bro.
  • ^ No, you gotta do it like this:

  • Have you read Don Quixote?
  • I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    >So I guess my frustration comes from the way that people treat the nice-guy phenomenon, as if it existed in a vacuum and that the thought processes behind it were completely unwarranted, and didn't have grains of truth to them that the nice guys simply blow out of proportion.

    I think you definitely have a point here.
  • Can anyone summarize Don's wall of text in three sentences or less?
  • I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    People simplify the nice guy idea, it is more complicated and has more complex roots.
    Also nice guy behaviour has a grain of truth in it, but is completely dismissed.

    I think that covers it?
  • edited 2011-09-01 16:45:28
    ^^^^ No, but I can see where you're going with that.
  • edited 2011-09-01 16:48:11
    Lots of sound, little argument.
  • ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭

  • I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    Well to take DonZabu's point about there being a grain of truth in the nice guy thing:

    Being nice and friendly is good, however taking it to the extremes (with possible creepiness) that the 'nice guys' go to isn't.
  • Not to mention, there's a difference between genuine niceness and "I'm the one for you please drop your panties I love you so much" niceness.
  • The latter tends to come off as unconscious discrimination. Sincere kindness does not discriminate, I believe.
  • "Another thing that bugs me is when a lot of modern female characters that aren't described as "strong", and are described as "submissive", "weak", "shy, etc are written and the author is called sexist."


    "While most reasonable people see women and men as equals, few (if any) dare to claim that femininity is masculinity's equal."


    I love that quote so much. Because it's so true, and I think it ties into what you said. Any female character that isn't a Man With Tits gets derided as sexist. This, to me, makes writing horrendously aggravating, because if I dare to, say, portray a female character as being good at cooking, someone is going to scream "SEXIST" at me as loud as concievebly possible over the internet.

  • $80+ per session
    Is it wrong if a genuinely nice guy is still upset when a girl he likes is dating an asshole?
  • edited 2011-09-01 17:08:50

    And yet the top chefs are primarily male. Society is funny like that, isn't it?

    But yes, it comes down to femininity still being derided. Because men are supposed to be terrible at raising children, ya know.

    Side note: at least Brock from Pokemon bucks the stereotype somewhat.

    ^I'd question the value placed on the relationship in that case.

  • BobBob
    edited 2011-09-01 17:09:50
    It really depends on why he feels that way, if the other guy is really an asshole, how he (the nice guy) thinks of the girl post-asshole-dating, etc. It seems like it'd be a case by case thing.

    ^Also that.
  • "But yes, it comes down to femininity still being derided. Because men are supposed to be terrible at raising children, ya know."


    And yet, if a boy didn't have his father around when he was a kid, he is viewed as "losing" something (My father says that his father was a weak, unfit-for-life reality man.....because he was raised by only his mother).


    But if men are supposed to be bad at raising children, then why are men supposed to be good at raising boys?


    HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE

  • $80+ per session
    A lot of people think having a single parent raise you means you are not learning all the skills and lessons you should, and also the connection that a lot of people find with single parent households and how it ties to income, education, etc.
  • You can change. You can.
    Is it wrong if a genuinely nice guy is still upset when a girl he likes is dating an asshole?

    Yes and no.

    The problem is that most of the time, the asshole dickery and the guy's niceness are overrated by the nice guy. 

    If your sceneario was 100%, sure. But it normally isn't.
  • That, and for Nice Guys (note capitalisation), it's usually a case of 'why are you dating this jerk when you can have sex with me instead?'.
  • edited 2011-09-02 10:28:18
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Is it wrong if a genuinely nice guy is still upset when a girl he likes is dating an asshole?

    The guy she's dating might seem like an asshole to you, but unless you are said girl I don't see how judging him is going to work out, because most girls see qualities in guys that most guys don't, and most of the so called assholes are just men with self-esteem management problems or too much pride that tend to piss other people off or come off as smug or douchebaggy. I remember a bunch of guys who used to like me thought my boyfriend was an asshole just because he played basketball and was very smug, but he was actually very nice and treated me with some manners and respect. They may be a douchebag to you, but probably not to the girl.
  • You can change. You can.
    ^This. So much.

    A lot of the times, the so called asshole is nothing more than just a person who the Nice Guy doesn't like. 

    Worst part is that this sort of thinking is constantly reinforced via media and stuff (How many romantic stories are all about a good kid conquering the heart of a girl whose boyfriend is abusive and a general douche?)
  • If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    because most girls see qualities in guys that most guys don't, and most of the so called assholes are just men with self-esteem management problems or too much pride that tend to piss other people off or come off as smug or douchebaggy.

    Most of the time, using the word 'most' is an overgeneralization :D
  • ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    SO SUDDENLY I AM NOT ALLOWED TO USE THE WORD MOST WELL OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

    most of the assholes I've met or dated weren't actually assholes at all.
  • If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Nah, I just wanted to stick a most at the front of a sentence decrying the overly common usage of the word 'most'.
  • You can change. You can.
    Seriously, I could play a drinking game with that thing. 
  • Which is why I use "many" unless I am sure that it's likely that more than 50% qualify.
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