Random story ideas that are Awesome but Impractical

Waltzy

Person A has collapsed and is starving to death. Person B finds food, but Person A is so weak they can't chew anything themselves. The only way for Person A to live is if Person B chews the food and passes it from their mouth to Person A's.

BUT

The only food around is meat, and Person B is a hardcore vegan! There are no other ways to tenderize the meat. What does Person B do?

MillerCross

Pummel her to death.

Make it a short story about how human nature is ZOMG depressing, and there ya go, you have yourself a nobel.

IanExMachina

Die, if they stick to their values.

Vivi

Person B can mash it with their hands.

Waltzy

But that would mean they have to beat the dead aminal and that would also conflict with their aminal-loving ways!

Vivi

Well, as long as it isn't someone from PETA, I can see a vegan sacrificing their beliefs for the sake of a human being that is right there.

IanExMachina

Mainline it straight into person A's veins.

MillerCross

Just use cocaine. That'll solve it.

IanExMachina

That is your solution to everything.

MillerCross

Well, it's because it solves everything, Ian. 

IanExMachina

Can't argue with that.

Counterclock

"Help, my baby is on fire!!!"

Juan:Cocaine mam, solves all your problems.

"But my baby is still on fire."

Juan: ~looks at the baby~ Hmmm....

MillerCross

Icalasari

^ I'd expect the bottom line to say, "Throw it out. I like my baby raw!"

DonZabu

THROW BABY

Icalasari

^ INTO EXPLOSIVES?

DonZabu

INTO THE LAKE.

Where he swims back to you with a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Malkavian

Start drinking heavily. Then you can piss on the baby to put out the fire.

IanExMachina

Let the baby burn.

Snort the ashes.

Icalasari

ENEMY CREMATED

SNORT ASHES