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Liveblogging GOOOOO!!! (A Chargeman Ken Liveblog)
I sure love jumping in bandwagons.
Anyway, I've been toying with this idea since some time ago,and today finally decided to do it. I'm not very good at this liveblogging stuff so it'll probably suck,but hey,at least is free.
Anyway,let's start with a bit of backstory.
Chargeman Ken is a 1974 anime made by the company Knack. In it, our hero Ken uses his Chargeman-powers-that-no-one-bothers-to-explain-where-they-came-from against the Jural aliens. He is also an enormous asshole
Anyway, the majority of the episodes are in Japanese,with only 3 subtitled,but since the plotlines are so simple I don't think it will be a huge problem.
Well,let's start with Episode 1 "Danger!! The Children's Space Station!"
So we start in some kind of submarine base,where Mao,the lider of the Jurals (who's actually a pretty cool guy) is ordering his soldiers to kidnap ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD.
Gee Mao,isn't that a bit overboard? You should start with something smaller,like kidnap all the children in Andorra or something.
Well,he wants to kidnap the children to use them as hostages. It's not a really complicated plan,isn't it? And then his eyes flash for some reason
After some beautiful scenary pictures,we finally see our hero
Accompanied by his annoying sister Caron,who won't do anything in this anime except being kidnapped and go insane
And this fucking thing, whose only purpose is being annoying comic relief. He's named Barican, but who cares?
So they go to some kind of amusement park where other kids are having fun ( though is hard to tell,since you can't even hear laughter)
Ken is in a spaceship with his buddies,and since he's an asshole decides to do some stunts with it.
After nearly killing Barican and Caron, Ken looks at something with a terrified expression.
It's the Jurals,who are kidnapping the children at the park!
And the see the first of a series of very,very,very,very reused transformation sequences. Also,we get to hear the Chargeman Ken theme song,which is enough of a reason to watch this anime
Ken jumps into the Sky Drop, his spaceship with a stupid rotating ring and lands it without actually using it for shit. He's that cool
Apparently,Ken has the ability of rolling while floating some centimeters up the ground. It's not a really useful power,but at least is cool to see.
And he just start shooting the aliens,who don't oppose any kind of resistance... Oh wait there's one in a spaceship above! Maybe he can.... oh no,Ken's amazing manouvers (known as just flying around the spaceship are distracting him!
After dicking around for a bit, Ken finally shoots him and blows him up after a suspenseful pause.
And the episode ends with everyone laughing at Barican's stupidity and no word on the fate of the kidnapped children
Well,that's it. I'll do episode two tomorrow or later today or whatever
Anyway, I've been toying with this idea since some time ago,and today finally decided to do it. I'm not very good at this liveblogging stuff so it'll probably suck,but hey,at least is free.
Anyway,let's start with a bit of backstory.
Chargeman Ken is a 1974 anime made by the company Knack. In it, our hero Ken uses his Chargeman-powers-that-no-one-bothers-to-explain-where-they-came-from against the Jural aliens. He is also an enormous asshole
Anyway, the majority of the episodes are in Japanese,with only 3 subtitled,but since the plotlines are so simple I don't think it will be a huge problem.
Well,let's start with Episode 1 "Danger!! The Children's Space Station!"
So we start in some kind of submarine base,where Mao,the lider of the Jurals (who's actually a pretty cool guy) is ordering his soldiers to kidnap ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD.
Gee Mao,isn't that a bit overboard? You should start with something smaller,like kidnap all the children in Andorra or something.
Well,he wants to kidnap the children to use them as hostages. It's not a really complicated plan,isn't it? And then his eyes flash for some reason
After some beautiful scenary pictures,we finally see our hero
Accompanied by his annoying sister Caron,who won't do anything in this anime except being kidnapped and go insane
And this fucking thing, whose only purpose is being annoying comic relief. He's named Barican, but who cares?
So they go to some kind of amusement park where other kids are having fun ( though is hard to tell,since you can't even hear laughter)
Ken is in a spaceship with his buddies,and since he's an asshole decides to do some stunts with it.
After nearly killing Barican and Caron, Ken looks at something with a terrified expression.
It's the Jurals,who are kidnapping the children at the park!
And the see the first of a series of very,very,very,very reused transformation sequences. Also,we get to hear the Chargeman Ken theme song,which is enough of a reason to watch this anime
Ken jumps into the Sky Drop, his spaceship with a stupid rotating ring and lands it without actually using it for shit. He's that cool
Apparently,Ken has the ability of rolling while floating some centimeters up the ground. It's not a really useful power,but at least is cool to see.
And he just start shooting the aliens,who don't oppose any kind of resistance... Oh wait there's one in a spaceship above! Maybe he can.... oh no,Ken's amazing manouvers (known as just flying around the spaceship are distracting him!
After dicking around for a bit, Ken finally shoots him and blows him up after a suspenseful pause.
And the episode ends with everyone laughing at Barican's stupidity and no word on the fate of the kidnapped children
Well,that's it. I'll do episode two tomorrow or later today or whatever
Comments
Anyway,let's go with Episode 2, "Close Call!" (God bless you Google Translate)
So we start with a secret base and a Jural firing a missile in a most enthusiastic manner
The missile creates a cloud of smoke,which seems to make Mao very happy. Then he makes some speech but since this episode is not subtitled I can't know what is he saying.
We see a group of missiles similar to the one previously fired and cut to Ken's house,where they are preparing some kind of party, while Barican jumps around like an idiot
Wait a minute since when does he have teeth?
And yeah, I drew that because the picture looked pretty empty otherwise
OH MY GOD THEY ARE SINGING IN ENGLISH
C'mon Jural guy,they sing real bad,but it's no reason to just interrupt their party like that
Also get used to the music in this scene,since it is in practically every episode
Why do Caron and Barican always insist in going with him? Do they love being in danger?
Yeah,Jurals. Shoot the missiles at the sky instead of Ken's spaceship. That will totally work. Also is a wonder Caron isn't freezing her ass in the snow with a dress like that. Fanservice shit
And instead of using the missiles as,you know,weapons, the Jurals use them to create smoke curtains so Ken can't see them. This has to be one of the most retarded villian plans in all of animation history
Anyway, Caron trips while running away (because apparently her brother forgot he has a fucking laser gun) and drops a match box. She has the happy idea of lighting a match and putting it inside of Barican's body to intensify the light. After this doesn't do shit, Ken decides to stop fucking around and go in Chargeman mode.
What the fuck Arigato?? They didn't do anything! There's the same mist as before! The match is not even lighted anymore! I know it's your sister and all,but you should stop encouraging her. I mean,she doesn't even go to school because she prefers seeing her brother slaughtering stupid aliens! What kind of education is that??
Well I went a bit overboard. Ken makes an amazing leap over the Jurals and kills them with that disc on his belt,which is apparently a weapon now. He also does the same rolling animation from episode one because it seems everyone at Knack thought it was the most bad ass thing ever,since he does it in practically every episode.
After some good ol' alien murdering,the fog magically dissappears and the Jural leader swears revenge on Ken or something like that. Ken does not giva a fuck and tells Caron to return home so they can continue their party. This is a notorious episode because it doesn't have everyone laughing at the end
I figured I wouldn't take much screenshots since I already post the video of the episode. Is everyone okay with that?
haha.
So we start with a guy who looks like the doctor from Higurashi giving a lecture about butterflies.
We also see these two guys who have no revelance to the episode but look funny
Anyway,they ask something to Ken's parents and goddam his mother looks like a giraffe. The father meditates for a long,long moment and then we see a flashback of the whole Izumi family (yes,they share surname with Konata.Make what you will of that) in a picnic, where they...
..umm.... what the fuck are they doing??
In his narcotic state Barican hallucinates some rabbits and starts chasing them,but ends up finding a fainted body. The plot (lol) thickens!
Then Ken finds some other people being attacked by butterflies but doesn't help them because fuck that he's in a picnic.
The flashback ends and the professor and the two funny looking guys keep discussing the butterflies for a while.
In this moment,one Jural articulates one of the most memorable lines in this anime:
"Ah,they are so cute"
This guys are truly threatening.
Anyway,it seems the butterflies have been sent to Earth by the Jurals and emite some kind of spore that makes humans asleep (or maybe kills them, you never know with this show)
They start releasing the butterflies over the city while Mao comments happily in the brilliance of his plan. He also has holes in his fingers for some reason.
The same two grey clones run away from the butterflies,the scariest creatures alive.
Ken,who is watching the whole scene decides to go on Chargeman mode
He shoots his crotch laser against the swarm of butterflies while looking pretty full of himself. He also shoots his laser gun for a bit with not much enthusiasm to be honest.
After killing all the butterflies with no much effort,he sees the Jural's spaceship taking off. The leader of the Jurals tells him something while Ken puts on an awkward as fuck pose and twists his gun in his hand ,probably thinking it looks badass.
Finally, he,Caron and Barican stare at the field of dead butterflies. Caron comment's on her brother's cruelness,saying that the butterflies were very cute and didn't deserve it. Ken stares at the infinity,probably pondering if he should smack his sister or just tell her to fuck off.
And this is the ending of episode 3!! By the way, I found a subbed version in Youtube,but since it is a gag sub I preferred going with the original japanese.
And the next episode is the Hoshi-kun one!!! I'm so excited!!!
This one comes with subs! Yay!
So we start with an American Football tournament,where Ken is participating. What a coincidence that Ken's tean wears the same colours as him when is Chargeman.
We see Barican and Caron in the audience,and while Barican is cheering for Ken, Caron instead goes with some guy named Hoshi-kun!!!
Though,after watching Hoshi-kun, one understands why'd Caron root for him. Damn
The game starts,and after Hoshi runs a little,he gets tackled and a bunch of people jumpon him for no reason whatsoever. I'll never understand this sport.
Anyway,they throw the ball again and...
After this display of athletic capabilities,Hoshi-kun starts running with the ball,sends a puny human flying with a simple hand gesture and a "Wei" and scores,making his team win the match
Later,Ken who is alone pitying himself is approached by the man himself,Hoshi-kun,who asks him a favour.
Ken obviously accepts and Hoshi takes him in his sweet motorcycle to the place where he transforms.
Wait, I didn't know Ken transformed in an specific place. Oh well if Hoshi says it then it must be true!
Then an scene that wouldn't be out of place in a hentai starts,where Hoshi asks Ken to show him his "Charging Go". Ken does some kind of girly jump completed with girly scream. This leaves Hoshi unsatisfied and demands Ken to do something better.
After an strangely long shot of Ken's crotch (seriously,what the fuck is up with that?), Hoshi Kun reveals he is in fact a Jural!!! Who could have guessed?
Ken finally transforms in Chargeman,while the Jural jumps on his motorcycle. After they wreck the constructions site for a bit,Ken finally remembers he has a laser gun and shoots at Hoshi-kun,killing him.
We are in Ken's house,where we see Caron crying. Ken lies like a bastard to her and tells her Hoshi-kun "transferred" to another school. In her broken emotional state, Caron tells Barican she hates him while Ken laughs cruelly at their disgrace.
Then Caron starts laughing again.which is proof of her bipolar disorder.
And the episode ends here. I don't think this entry has been very funny to be honest,but hey,at least you have the episode.
Hey, I had this thing. Huh
Anyway, since I got this new avatar I decided to do an entry for this thing. And of course, it had to be one of the most confusing episodes of the show.
Ep 5- Horror! The mummy comes in a horse-drawn carriage.
You could just stop reading there, since that title is quite an accurate summary of the episode. Oh well, let's get this done.
So we start in some kind of plane, where Ken and the rest of his class are going in a trip. His hot teacher explains they are going to Hokkaido. After a conversation that I can't understand because people have shit taste and won't sub this anime, we see the two pilots of the plane,who apparently see something strange going on. Their hair going from orange to brown is not commented upon.
Since there is a big storm happening, the kids take refuge in a house. As a kid reads a book titled "K", another bunch of kids sit on circle looking at a wall.
As Ken looks out of the window and comments on the huge storm, his teacher prefers looking at the pubic hair stuck in the above part of the screen,in a masterful example of breaking the fourth wall.
The storm rages, and then it turns into snowstorm in a flash. It's the power of Hokkaido!
A silhoutte appears in the distance,and then we see it's a carriage driven by a laughing .... thing
The plane pilots go to investigate,but the fat one can stand the cold and flees. The other one does not seem to caren and pulls out a gun, even before he sees any danger.
The laughing creature comes in and the guy starts shooting it. Unfortunately it seems he got confused and grabbed his gun-shaped flashlight, since it only shoots silent beams of light. When the thing gets tired of that shit it fries him with his eye laser. Ken stands next to him and then he's back inside with his teacher. It seems one of his superpowers is lightning speed.
The teacher tells him to do something and after a desynced "HAI SENSEI" he goes Chargeman. Oh yeah shit's getting real.
He chases the thing in his Sky Drop, that got out of nowhere. The thing crashes into a streetlight and catches fire instantly, a la Michael Bay.
Then the thing turns into a Velociraptor and Ken chases him while floating a bit above the ground because fuck you he can.Finally he catches the thing and kills it. But oh noes! It had several clones!
After a recycled animation fight, Ken creates a hole in the ice and drowns all of the clones, along with about 20 innocent horses.
We are back in the airplane with who knows piloting it because one of the pilots is dead and the other is probably to afraid of piloting it alone. Then Ken makes this face
and the episode ends.
This is supposed to be a kid's show, right? If so, it seems like a pretty dark one to me, at least if you start thinking about some of the stuff in it. I mean, killing someone's buddy, telling her he just "transferred" to another school, and laughing at her misery and hatred are not the kinds of questionable moral behaviors I would expect to see from someone who is meant to be a hero on a kid's show.
Not to mention the whole "dynamite in the brain" episode that comes up later.
^ To me,the worst episode when it comes to fucked up-ness has to be number 23,which it has to be seen to be believed. But anyway now it's time for episode 6
Ep-6 Mistery! The space botanic garden.
We see some nice shots of Ken's school (which by the way looks like the UN building) while the nasally voiced narrator talks over them. Yeah, apparently the show has a narrator now
Hottie-sensei appears in Ken's screen. It's kinda fun how the kids have a computer to communicate with the teacher and use as a textbook but still write using pen and paper.Anyway, she tells them about their trip to the botanic garden and then scolds some kid for standing up earlier or something, I don't know I don't speak weeaboo. lol pwned 4lyf t(*-*t)
While running around like an idiot,Ken hears a familiar voice
OF COURSE. IT HAD TO BE THEM. Poor Ken, the only place where he could get rid of them for a bit and they had to shit it up. And doesn't Caron go to her own school anyway?
The teacher calls Ken and he tells Caron and Barican to hide. What follows is one of the most retarded scenes in animation history,right under Tim Buckley's cameo in Ctrl Alt Del The Animated (lol) series.
Woah. Great hiding technique you got there guys. I be Solid Snake would be impressed. No, seriously, I wonder where did the teacher got her title if she can't even pick up something like this.
Yup, those plants don't look suspicious at all.
And look at Ken's face. It's like he's looking the Aurora Borealis.
The teacher talks a bit and then screams in horror as the plants start attacking her students. After being gravely insulted by the floor Ken decides he's not taking anymore shit and goes Chargeman.
And then he goes....underwater? In his space ship? I guess they must have explained that in Japanese because it would make no sens oh who am I kidding this is Chargeman Ken.
After killing some Jurals with the same animations we've all seen 50 times already (and this is only episode 6!) Ken destroys the pilar that sustained the whole botanic garden. It's worth of mention how in the shot where the building it's shown collapsing they still used the interior background, with the glass.
Anyway, after some words which are likely Ken apologizing but not really about destroying a building and the teacher telling him how cool he is, Barican runs around a bit and trips, causing everyone to make fun of him as usual.
Wait, what purpose did Caron serve in this episode anyway? Barican made his act-like-an-idiot-and-being-made-fun-of routine,but Caron wasn't even kidnapped! It tells something when the characters even are shitty at being shitty.
Does this show just not have a foley? Like, at all?