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People marrying jerks and otherwise problematic wastes of human life

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Comments

  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR
    Noted. I disapprove of anything that benefits therapists.  I'm entirely convinced they're all filthy, brainwashing scum.
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    I know. They were responsible for slavery and the Holocaust, amirite?
  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)
    SotiCoto: A Scientologist, I see.
  • IaculusIaculus
    Thread hop: Because jerks, for all their flaws, are usually defined by their confidence. And confidence is hot. Sometimes, hot enough to get you to a point in your relationship where backing out would be extremely difficult and damaging.
  • SotiCotoSotiCoto
    RE-ANIMATOR
    ^^ They're scum too. If you see one, kill it for me.

    ^ Confident Jerks are a very particular kind of Jerk. Another kind is the Nothing-To-Lose Jerk.
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Allison Iraheta - Beat Me Up

    -begins to dance-

    I like this song and it's lyrics
  • AlkthashAlkthash
    I'm a damn twisted person
    @ OP - ITT: Daddy issues dressed up as questions over social dynamics.
  • LouieWLouieW
    edited 2011-07-19 17:40:47
    Loser
    TheMightyAnonym,

    My guess would be that the person in question was able to hide that part of them as Edmania said.

    Another possible explanation is that there was just a general lack of communication and/or thought put into the relationship (i.e. getting together on a whim or for reasons that later do not exist). For example, someone might heavily value physical appearances in relationships at first and later find out that he or she really wished that he or she focused on something else like personality or common interests more instead.

    Also, from what I can tell, it is tough to get out of a committed relationship once you are in one, especially if there is abuse involved.
  • TheMightyAnonymTheMightyAnonym
    ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    I suppose, although the marriage ever occurring in the first place is still most mysterious to me.

    Case in point: My parents.
  • AHRAHR
    Because it's very easy to be happy with a person for a few months. 
  • snowbullsnowbull
    Cue-bey
    Why the hell would you marry someone after knowing them for only a few months? I just don't understand the minds of these people.
  • AHRAHR
    edited 2011-07-19 19:39:24
    My grandparents got married after knowing each other for a few weeks. Horrible marriage.

    People tend to trust their gut. 
  • snowbullsnowbull
    edited 2011-07-19 19:43:04
    Cue-bey
    I guess I don't have much experience with that sort of family dynamic. Out of my 30+ aunts/uncles I think only 1 ever got divorced.
  • AHRAHR
    I know of no one who got divorced.

    I do know a lot of families that are bubbling under the surface with discontent.
  • BeholderessBeholderess
    edited 2011-07-19 23:14:47
    The only explanation that I can come up
    with is that marriage somehow makes a couple complacent and thus willing
    to be a monster.

    This one thinks that its quite possible. Very few people would knowingly marry a jerk. However, it is quite possible for a person to change for the worse, but by  that time, children, money or what have you. However,  by that time children, money and dependency make them stay married.

    It is also possible for someone to have jerkish tendencies from the beginning, but suppressing them in order to impress someone they fancy. It might even be quite sincere attempt. However, one they are sure that their spouse would not leave them, once they are  not afraid that their behaviour will make them lose their spouse, they become more lax. Beloved needs to be impressed and  fought for, one  has to be worthy of him/her. Wife or husband are taken for granted.

    Which is part of the reason this one does not want  to marry, ever.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    edited 2011-07-19 23:19:31
    Tableflipper
    I think the problem in that case would be the motivation(as in, the form it takes, not the amount) for keeping up, rather than marriage.
  • BeholderessBeholderess
    Not sure I understand...
  • AlkthashAlkthash
    I'm a damn twisted person
    That the person wants to stay in the marriage for the nice things it lets them access, not for continued association with their spouse.
  • ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(`Д´）╯︵ ┻━┻
    Tableflipper
    Actually I was thinking of how people tend to only bother trying to keep themselves good enough for their partner until marriage since they feel like their spouse now won't leave them (at least not as easily) so it's only really trying until you trap them rather than trying to keep up your best because you love them.
  • BeholderessBeholderess
    Exactly
  • AHRAHR
    Also, mind rape.

    People don't always know they're being abused. Especially if the abuser knows how to play their cards right.

    I mean, how can it be THEIR fault, when YOU're the one asking for it / being so clumsy / being so stupid / being so forgetful / etc. etc. etc.
  • The_EdgeThe_Edge
    Mr. The Edge goes to Washington
    I have a friend who was in the beginnings of such a relationship. It started out good but the guy turned into an abusive jerk. My friend decided to get out the first time he hit her. They were living together at the time and it took sometime, but she never let him hit her again and eventually moved back home with her parents and she's okay now. The guy, however, I don't know what happened to him. I think he's been sleeping on someone's couch.
  • BeholderessBeholderess
    That's admirable. This one thinks it's right that she decided not to give him any second chances. "But they really love me!", "Oh, it won't happen again!", "I can't lose our marriage over it!" are very common traps.
  • The_EdgeThe_Edge
    Mr. The Edge goes to Washington
    People can change but also, people can easily change back to the jerkasses they once were.
  • TheMightyAnonymTheMightyAnonym
    ~♥YES♥~! I *AM* a ~♥cupcake♥~! ^_^
    Actually I was thinking of how people tend to only bother trying to keep
    themselves good enough for their partner until marriage since they feel
    like their spouse now won't leave them (at least not as easily) so it's
    only really trying until you trap them rather than trying to keep up
    your best because you love them.

    This is more or less the reason for which I could really only stand to be with someone who I have known for a while (such as milady).
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