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My Flat Mate Having Sex On The Couch.

TheConductorTheConductor
edited 2011-05-30 03:07:18 in General
Come ON man, you HAVE a bedroom. That bedroom is yours to use as you will, you own half of this flat. But man, the living room is for every one. I don't wanna wake up for work in the morning to see your fat ass bobbing up and down.

Comments

  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Ew.
  • TheConductorTheConductor
    I know :( It's icky.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Clearly you must now masturbate on his bed.
  • TheConductorTheConductor
    I would, but I'm quite afraid to go into his room. He's a messy, messy man.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    edited 2011-05-30 03:18:38
    They're somethin' else.
    yeah, I second Cygan.

    Shit on it too.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    That... Should show him.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    His pillows are about to get a lot messier.
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Why don't you fuck him in the ass?

    You both share the flat. You either get half of the take-home or you take it out of his ass.
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    You have a fling-person, no-one says you can't return the favour.
  • SchitzoSchitzo
    They're somethin' else.
    Well fuck, take your time punch lining it >:/
  • TheConductorTheConductor
    You've all given me excellent ideas. So tonight I'ma shit on his pillow and tomorrow night me and Kayleigh will be getting it on in the hallway.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Get it on in the kitchen. On the bench.

    You won't mind, it's your girlfriend. But he will.
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    Useful in combination with semen-based cooking.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    You're cookin' somethin alright.

    A bun.

    In the oven.
  • Tnu1138Tnu1138
    Who owns the flat? do you two actually own it jointly? do you rent it? If so you should speek to the owner about the issue.
  • GelzoGelzo
    edited 2011-05-30 04:38:57
    Pony Sleuth
    Really, Gelzo? -Cygan
  • GelzoGelzo
    Pony Sleuth
    I dunno, probably.
  • TheConductorTheConductor
    ^^ We both own it together. It's technically in my name, but he pays for half of everything.
  • Tnu1138Tnu1138
    well if your willing or able ot pay for everything in full you can tell him to leave but since you are the technical owner you can set guideliens.
  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    Sane mode: have you even tried to talking to him about it? Like, if this shit is going on? He has a subtle cue for it like leaving a coat hanger on the door or whatever?
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    The dried semen on the couch acts as an indicator.
  • TheConductorTheConductor
    @Tnu: I'm not really able to pay for everything myself, and besides that this is really a minor thing and he's been my best friend since we were at school. Not worth throwing him out.

    @Insanity: I'd rather he just didn't do it on the couch, or at the very least wait till I leave. I mean, the living room is for every one.

    @Cygan: LOL.

  • InsanityAddictInsanityAddict
    Diet NEET
    That's what a fair cleaning roster is for: if you take turns rubbing out each other's spillings, then you'll eventually both get fed up with doing the nasty outside of your respective bedrooms.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    Of course, this would imply he ritually masturbates over the couch before he has sex on it, to indicate it.

    But would masturbating over it count as something you need a warning for?

    If so... He must be masturbating elsewhere, then... carry the semen out to the couch?

    Ew. I think I made myself sick.
  • BlackHumorBlackHumor
    ...can't you just tell him not to fuck on the couch?

    Or have you already?
  • IanExMachinaIanExMachina
    I am Dr. Ned who is totally not Dr. Zed in disguise.
    Who owns the couch :p?
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