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When I sneezed it made me fart

VorpyVorpy
edited 2011-05-25 23:11:18 in Wonderful posts
☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
And now my ass really stings and I can't sit down anymore

FUCK

when is this going to go away oh my GOD FUCK
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Comments

  • BobBob
    WTF, did you fart a knife or something?
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    It feels like it, all it was, was air but it stung and now my spine hurts and I have a headache
  • BobBob
    I take my previous comment back, because from the sounds of it, you just farted an entire fucking city.

    Was it one of those farts that's really a deuce in disguise? Did it come out particularly hard / forcefully?
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    Yes, normally they are soft and flow out like wisps, but this was a fucking nucklavee, ripping it's way out of my tight little butt and digging it's god damn fins right into the meat, and then filling the holes with bleeding puss and necrotic filthy shit and then spewing acid from my eyesockets while ripping out my spine and ripping my ass all the way down to my puss and making it explode with maggots and mossy bogwater.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
    why did i read that

    why
  • DonZabuDonZabu

    This thread is...

    ...well it's certainly a thing.

  • BobBob
    edited 2011-05-25 23:22:16
    So, a Scottish mythological being of abject horror just ripped it's way out of your asshole, destroying you from the inside out in the process?
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    This thread is... disturbing.
  • ForzareForzare
    Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    I just skimmed it. I think I'm a happier person for it.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    I think this is one time you will see a mod encourage a derail.

    DERAIL GO
  • DonZabuDonZabu

    One time, a long time ago, I swear to god that I farted so powerfully that I lifted myself off of the toilet.

  • BobBob
    No, I quite enjoy listening to Vorpy describe a metaphorical creature ripping her asshole inside out. Let's hear more.

    I LOVE PIZZA

  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    No, I quite enjoy listening to Vorpy describe a metaphorical creature ripping her asshole inside out. Let's hear more.

    ...So she was talking about my penis?

    Pizza is awesome, but burgers are better.
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-05-25 23:32:41
    YOU FUCKING BLASPHEMER, I'LL KILL YOU

    IN THE NAME OF THE ALMIGHTY CHEESEHOVA, I SMITE THEE!
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    She's got a point there, Juan.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
    ...So she was talking about my penis?

    Your penis is metaphorical?
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    OHHHHHH BURN
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    ITT: Juan_Carlos is Freud.
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-05-25 23:36:44
    ^^HOW THE FUCK DID YOU POST THE EXACT SAME THING I ALMOST POSTED DECIDED NOT TO?

    WTF
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    edited 2011-05-25 23:37:42
    You can change. You can.


    Your penis is metaphorical?

    No, but it can write some damn good allegories.
  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    So your penis is Socrates?
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    My penis is Jorge Luis Borges, actually.

    Young Jorge Luis Borges, to be acurrate. 
  • BobBob
    edited 2011-05-25 23:41:40
    Fuck, I would've guessed Saint Luke.
  • DonZabuDonZabu
    Well if you think about it, Plato uses Socrates as a metaphorical literary device in his allegories, so if your penis is a metaphor and an allegorist, it's probably Socrates.
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    God damn it. Fucking Symphalian Bird dock in my anuuuuuuuuuuuuuus stupid painful fleshripping auger cock tipped in razorwire and griding bolts. SHIT.
  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.
    It's OK, Vorpy. All you need is some amazing buttsecks. I'm willing to provide

    OK, no more jokes. Vorpy, get a pillow on that butt now.
  • VorpyVorpy
    ☭Unstoppable Sex Goddess☭
    I will. A soft silky pillow for my aching butt.
  • BobBob
    I'll be your pillow, Vorpy. :3

    Wait, no I won't. Fuck that noise.
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