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Silly geographical comments (or whatever you'd call this)

in Meatspace
Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
A thread for stuff like "Meanwhile in Florida" and "Meanwhile in Poland". And anything else anyone wants to add, of course.

Since this doesn't really fit into the IJBMer Updates thread anyway, particularly when there's another conversation going.

> mention that there are these random palm-like plants sprouting in the middle of friggin nowhere, like not near any other palms
> ask what they are
> someone identifies them as saw palmettos
> get to comment the following:
so i guess here in Florida you can just be doing your own thing and then suddenly saws start popping out of the ground for no obvious reason

(FYI, saw palmettos don't actually have their "sawblades" until entire leaves have emerged. It's only the leaves' stems that have the serrations. Also they grow slowly. And they're spread by birds and other fauna. They're basically like palm trees with pointy leaves, minus the trunk, because they don't grow any higher than being a big mass of pointy fronds several feet high.)


  • edited 2020-03-20 04:44:27
    There is love everywhere, I already know
    I heard about these a lot during a massive rugby tournament a couple of years ago, and since then I hear about them less frequently. Mostly referenced in relation to the Afrikaaner version of uh... let's say an "Uneducated Chad" (with vague farmboy frontier connotations, the type of guy who knows De La Rey by heart and barely understands it's patriotic message).

    However, finding examples online is practically impossible. Whatever, here's a bacuzzi (that is to say a jacuzzi in the back of your bakkie/single-cab pickup truck).
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I just now noticed that the OP has a larger font size than the comments do.

    I wonder if I should delete that from my OP and then repost it separately.
  • edited 2020-03-20 06:36:06
    I feel this thread will see some good use. Have a lazy Google Images search link.
    Also I just learned there are loads of [place] 2077 videos on Youtube.
  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    How about images, do they still go to images thread even if it's about stuff happening only in X?
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
  • There is love everywhere, I already know
    When I was a kid, I was pretty into a South African sitcom called "The Coconuts". It was about, well, uh:
    A white South African family ignores the warning of a mysterious old man not to park their holiday caravan in the burial grounds of his ancestors. They laugh him off and wake up the next morning totally transformed into black African people!

    Reword this and it was basically the lyrics to the super peppy theme song.

    Anyways, in the second season premiere, Patience the maid has an intense Bollywood dream sequence in which she is becomes an Indian lady, and she sings the following:
    I don't need to be stealing,
    'Cause I bargain very well,
    You say R500,
    And I say halfajee,
    I don't need to be stealing cause I bargain very well~!!!

    To be clear this is a white maid who has like... Slide Digivolved from black to Indian.

    The first season of the show show seems to be on YouTube but otherwise scrubbed from the collective consciousness (and reruns), presumably because if anybody but me remembered it existed anybody who had ever been on it would be super-instacancelled.

    Oh I found a description of S02E01:
    The episode starts where Season 1 left off with the Mbulis all having turned Coloured, and with Amandla toting a 6-month old Chinese baby. Patience is Indian. This all turns out to be a dream complete with Bollywood sequence, from which Patience awakes in the first few minutes. From then on, she is still white and the Mbulis are again black. In reality, Amandla is nearly nine months pregnant. The family has to deal with the stress of the imminent arrival of Amandla’s parents, as she insists on having the baby at home and needs her mother’s help. Amandla also has to make sure that Patience constantly wears a pregnancy “suit” in case the unborn child turns out to be white, so they can say that Patience gave birth to it.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    Florida Man Measures Lizard Bite Force

    (I don't know how to make a funny title for this.)
  • edited 2020-04-14 11:33:11
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Guys, again, do we make it a principle that we post "meanwhile in..." videos in here? 'Cause if yes, then I wouldn't have just posted one in videos thread. Otherwise I'm keeping it for news articles.

    edit: ditto for images.
  • There is love everywhere, I already know
    I think posting videos in here is fine. Images should probably stay in the images thread.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    I personally don't care either way.
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Why did I just Google "australia-shaped hole"?
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    [12:30 AM] glennmagusharvey: things that are shaped like Australia
    [12:31 AM] glennmagusharvey: * this hole in some rock
    [12:31 AM] glennmagusharvey: * this hole in the wall
    [12:31 AM] glennmagusharvey: * a hole in someone's windshield
    [12:31 AM] glennmagusharvey: * a hole in some iceberg(edited)
    [12:31 AM] glennmagusharvey: * Saxton Hale's chest hair
    [12:31 AM] glennmagusharvey: * that one puddle
  • edited 2020-05-06 06:27:48
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    bonus stupid shit from these parts!


    TL;DR the apparent story is that, in July 2019, at a restaurant in Fort Lauderdale called YOLO (appropriately?), a guest punched (or at least swung at) an employee, then in the ensuing confrontation, headbutted another person (who I think is also an employee). Then he took a swing at a bystander who then wrestled him to the ground and pinned him down. Allegedly, this headbutting guy was drunk, and this whole incident happened because the staff wouldn't let him drive drunk.

    And he's reportedly using the DMCA to take down videos of the incident. This part seems confirmed here: https://lumendatabase.org/faceted_search?sender_name=Joel+Michael+Singer

    These allege that the videos are trying to incite violence against him, or something like that.

    The takedowns, which have hit reddit, in turn caused redditors to post and repost the video (and other uploads of it) to a whole bunch of subreddits. This has apparently blown up within the last day or two.

    Also someone put up a standalone website (with its own domain and all) just to flame him for misdeeds.

    N.B. I do not have independent confirmation of any of this information, aside from the name of the person requesting the takedowns because those are displayed on Lumen; the messages suggest that it is the name of the person who got wrestled to the ground.

    Other people on the internet have been suggesting that he works at a nearby financial services company, and that "his daddy's money" may be involved in this, and that he may be running for office. I haven't found confirmation of any of this yet.
  • edited 2020-05-06 08:54:13
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Also the internet is already screwing up the details. Apparently (but I haven't yet found a vid with this yet) Mr. Singer was talking about how his dad has money before this incident, and that turned into the allegation that he was using his daddy's money to get this video erased from the internet.

    Also I've read that the guy who took him down is 50 years old, and then I saw a YouTuber say that he's 60 years old. And also a name misspelling that turns his financial management company into a healthcare company.

    Anyhow, here's one of the earlier summaries of what allegedly happened: https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/gdlnqn/whats_up_with_this_video_of_joel_singer/fpkzvs5/
  • There is love everywhere, I already know
    I kind of feel bad for this guy. I know Europe is trying it's hand at right-to-be-forgotten laws, but obviously the internet never forgets.

    Having your most embarrassing moment out there for everyone to see when it's not your intention to be in the public eye must really hurt.

    That said:
    as he does not own the video

    He literally couldn't have found the woman who made the video and paid her a decent chunk of money to transfer the rights to him?
  • edited 2020-05-06 15:54:24
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    On one hand the person in the video certainly behaved like an asshole.

    On the other hand I'm not sure having the internet pile on like this is the right thing to do.

    On the third hand, the bulk of this pile-on only happened after a series of (badly written, with mangled grammar and spelling) DMCA requests were filed against these videos.

    Meanwhile, I've heard reports that moderators are getting bribes to take down these stories. Then for once I found someone who claims to have been offered bribes.


    The subreddit moderator claims, in the stickied comment, that he/she was offered various amounts in bribes. But these don't look legit; the reddit account purportedly offering these has a history that includes dunking on CEOs (along with posting in Swedish and being interested in SpaceX), the bribes escalate exponentially within the span of 14 hours (the time since which the comment was posted), and the offer is being made in bitcoin of all things.

    It is currently unclear whether this is actually Singer's lawyer, or someone pretending to be Singer's lawyer, and if this is the latter, it is unclear whether other instances of bribing have occurred and by whom.

    That said, if I were Mr. Singer's lawyer I'd try to get the posts taken down on the basis of harassment rather than try to bribe people. But I am not Mr. Singer's lawyer, nor Mr. Singer, so I have no idea what their priorities are.
  • edited 2020-05-16 16:49:33
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Massachusetts Man's flowering plant gets too big, dies

  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    The cultivar "Flying Dragon" is dwarfed in size and has highly twisted, contorted stems. It makes an excellent barrier hedge due to its density and strong curved thorns. Such hedges have been grown for over 50 years at Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, and are highly student-proof.[7] The plant is also highly deer resistant.[8] In central London, mature Trifoliate Orange specimens can be seen in the gardens of St Paul's Cathedral.

    sauce: https://www.uaex.edu/yard-garden/resource-library/plant-week/hardy-orange-2-9-07.aspx
    Poncirus is winter hardy to -10 degrees Fahrenheit so can be used throughout Arkansas. Grow it in full sun or light shade in any reasonable soil. It, and its twisted and contorted cultivar ‘Flying Dragon,’ make interesting and unusual small specimen trees if pruned to expose the architecture of the plant.

    Or, if you need a barrier planting to keep out dogs, burglars or college students averse to staying on the walks, it can be made into a hedge. A number of 3-foot tall, impenetrable hedges have been grown for over 50 years at Oklahoma State University in Stillwater. The hedges are so dense they can be walked on. Though deciduous, the green thorns are thick enough they look evergreen in winter.

    ok then
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Florida Men And/Or Florida Women Were Late To The Party
    During World War II, American soldiers rejected vitamin C-packed lemon crystals because of their unappetizing taste. Thus the government searched for a food that would fulfill the nutritional needs of the soldiers, have a desirable taste, and prevent diseases such as scurvy in a transportable vitamin C product. The federal government, the Florida Department of Citrus, along with a group of scientists desired to develop a superior product to canned orange juice (which was the current orange juice on the market in the 1940s) and developed frozen concentrated orange juice. Unfortunately frozen concentrated orange juice was developed three years after the war had ended.[6]
  • There is love everywhere, I already know
    It is often said that about four million people on the planet speak Afrikaans, most in South Africa.

    I am willing to be that at least one million of these people each have a solo pop-rock album to their name.
  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    In recent news: drunk Polish man drove into a roadside ditch while trying to make off with a stolen calf.
  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Also in recent news: Afghan war veteran disobeys court order to hand over his pet puma, runs off into the woods.

    Sounds like a decent premise for a B-movie. Like, First Blood with a pet puma. Picture that. Somebody should make it, if you ask me.
  • edited 2020-07-17 00:10:59
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
    Although many other localities in Florida have appended "Beach" to their names to distinguish themselves from an adjacent inland or cross-bay municipality – such as Miami Beach, St. Pete Beach, Panama City Beach, Melbourne Beach, Cocoa Beach, and Jacksonville Beach – the city of Miramar, Florida is actually over 600 miles (970 km) away in South Florida.

    To be fair, "Miramar" basically just means "look at the sea" in Spanish.

    Meanwhile, in south*west* Florida, there are a handful of locations called Miromar (with an o). I have no idea where that name is from.
  • I just learned about the Florida Man game, where you put "Florida Man [your birth month and day]" on Google and the first result is your Florida Man.
    I got "Florida man caught searching for threatened gopher tortoises to eat". https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/05/21/florida-man-caught-searching-for-threatened-gopher-tortoises-to-eat?media=AMP+HTML
  • edited 2020-07-23 16:19:42
    There is love everywhere, I already know
    I got:
    Florida man who pretended to be Uber driver gets 30 years for sexually assaulting teen


    At least #3 was:

    I also tried "Georgia Man [Birthday]" and that was much more depressing.
  • edited 2020-07-23 16:56:36
    "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    I went for current date, got this:
    Florida man known for viral Easter bunny brawl arrested

    edit: after a while, I figured I'd do the same with Polish man. The result: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/13/world/europe/poland-puma-kamil-stanek.html
  • My Georgia Man is "Man Who Filmed Ahmaud Arbery’s Death Is Charged With Murder".
    It took me a bit of trial and error to get a result that follows the format, but I found a Zulia Man (Zulia Men has a similar "regional reputation" as Florida Men) is: "Zulia man abused, murdered his stepdaughter and hid the corpse in a fridge." https://www.elinformador.com.ve/sucesos/hombre-en-el-zulia-abuso-asesino-a-su-hijastra-y-escondio-el-cadaver-en-un-congelador/
  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"
    Just saw that in the news:
    Russian war-trained dolphins spotted in naval base in Syria
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