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A Very Simple And Crappy Adventure Game
2013-03-21 18:01:00
edited 2013-03-21 18:01:00 in Roleplaying
Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human
Welcome to Avsacag!
What is your name?
Comments
Steve
Bill
Hello, Steve!
You are in a house. It is a sunny day outside.
Edit: You can't find a bill to pay, for some reason. This feels odd.
Let's see...
Check the mail?
You're not sure how to thog anything, and you're not sure where the thogginator is.
You go outside and check the mail. There is a package in the mailbox.
with the thogginatorFlaunt mail.
You attempt to use an imaginary tool to open the package. You fail. Unfazed, you try again to open the package with your hands. You find a smaller package inside.
You wave the smaller package around proudly. You hear a knocking noise from inside it.
Throw it against the ground and stomp on it to make the noise stop whilst screaming caveman noises
You angrily smash the smaller package onto the ground, then stomp all over it! After a few stomps, you hear a loud "POP" and out pops two objects:
1. a piece of paper that says "Visit the King at the Mall, at the Mall! Signed, the King of the Mall"
2. an empty plastic pokéball
Destroy paper evidence, hide Poké Ball in pocket.
Eat the paper and throw the pokeball at the nearest pedestrian
dammit lai you have just made a powerful enemy
You decide to destroy the piece of paper by eating it. It doesn't taste very good.
You put the pokéball in your pocket for now. You feel like throwing it at a pedestrian.
You take a walk down your street. After a minute you run into your neighbor who lives two doors down. What's his name again?
Douche
You yell "Hey, Douche!" and then throw your pokéball at his cat! Douche becomes angry! The pokéball fails to work properly, and he and his cat start to fight you!
Douche spits at you and hits you. Your pants are now covered in spit.
What do you do?
Jizz on 'em to cover up the spit.
You attempt to arouse yourself.
Douche's cat scratches you!
Douche punches you!
What do you do?
Kick him in the balls
You kick Douche in the balls!
Douche's cat walks away nonchalantly.
Douche punches you again!
You rip off Douche's pants and shout "tgere can be only one"!
Douche's cat comes running back.
Douche gives you the finger.
You punch Douche in the head and kill him!
Douche's cat bites your leg!
Toss it into the atmosphere.
Summon your Saint Bernard from a pocket dimension (ie. whistle for him to come from your house) and let him loose.
Dump corpse in the nearest playground.
META: Can we get some stats on the character?
Make Glenn do ALL the things.
Turkey slap the cat to death.
Sacrifice Douche's Cat to the Sun God