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A Very Simple And Crappy Adventure Game

edited 2013-03-21 18:01:00 in Roleplaying
Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

Welcome to Avsacag!

What is your name?



  • edited 2013-03-21 18:04:47
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    Hello, Steve!

    You are in a house.  It is a sunny day outside.

    Edit: You can't find a bill to pay, for some reason.  This feels odd.

  • edited 2013-03-21 18:05:33
    No rainbow star
    Edit: Ninja'd

    Let's see...

    Check the mail?
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You're not sure how to thog anything, and you're not sure where the thogginator is.

  • No rainbow star
    Stop ninjaing me! ;~;
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You go outside and check the mail.  There is a package in the mailbox.

  • No rainbow star
    Open the package with the thogginator
  • LaiLai
    edited 2013-03-21 18:09:40

    Flaunt mail.

  • edited 2013-03-21 18:10:58
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You attempt to use an imaginary tool to open the package.  You fail.  Unfazed, you try again to open the package with your hands.  You find a smaller package inside.

    You wave the smaller package around proudly.  You hear a knocking noise from inside it.

  • edited 2013-03-21 18:15:26

    Throw it against the ground and stomp on it to make the noise stop whilst screaming caveman noises

  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You angrily smash the smaller package onto the ground, then stomp all over it!  After a few stomps, you hear a loud "POP" and out pops two objects:

    1. a piece of paper that says "Visit the King at the Mall, at the Mall!  Signed, the King of the Mall"

    2. an empty plastic pokéball

  • LaiLai
    edited 2013-03-21 18:19:10

    Destroy paper evidence, hide Poké Ball in pocket.

  • edited 2013-03-21 18:19:34

    Eat the paper and throw the pokeball at the nearest pedestrian

    dammit lai you have just made a powerful enemy

  • edited 2013-03-21 18:26:43
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You decide to destroy the piece of paper by eating it.  It doesn't taste very good.

    You put the pokéball in your pocket for now.  You feel like throwing it at a pedestrian.

    You take a walk down your street.  After a minute you run into your neighbor who lives two doors down.  What's his name again?

  • No rainbow star
    Throw the Pokeball at a cat, then force the cat to attack Douche
  • edited 2013-03-21 18:30:20
    Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You yell "Hey, Douche!" and then throw your pokéball at his cat!  Douche becomes angry!  The pokéball fails to work properly, and he and his cat start to fight you!

    Douche spits at you and hits you.  Your pants are now covered in spit.

    What do you do?

  • if u do convins fashist akwaint hiz faec w pavment neway jus 2 b sur

    Jizz on 'em to cover up the spit.

  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You attempt to arouse yourself.

    Douche's cat scratches you!

    Douche punches you!

    What do you do?

  • Kick him in the balls

  • No rainbow star
    Then rip off Douche's pants and shout that tgere can only be one before you murder him
  • Creature - Florida Dragon Turtle Human

    You kick Douche in the balls!

    Douche's cat walks away nonchalantly.

    Douche punches you again!

    You rip off Douche's pants and shout "tgere can be only one"!

    Douche's cat comes running back.

    Douche gives you the finger.

    You punch Douche in the head and kill him!

    Douche's cat bites your leg!

  • Toss it into the atmosphere.

  • edited 2013-03-21 19:24:38

    Summon your Saint Bernard from a pocket dimension (ie. whistle for him to come from your house) and let him loose.

  • edited 2013-03-21 19:15:34
    Diet NEET

    Dump corpse in the nearest playground.

    META: Can we get some stats on the character?

  • I'm a damn twisted person
    Grab the cat by the tail and swing it like a flail at Douche.
  • LaiLai
    edited 2013-03-21 19:43:06

    Make Glenn do ALL the things.

  • "you duck spawn, refined creature, you try to be cynical, yokel, but all that comes out of it is that you're a dunce!!!!! you duck plug!"

    Turkey slap the cat to death.

  • Pokkity Pokkity Pokkity

    Sacrifice Douche's Cat to the Sun God

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