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Comments
Where'd you see someone saying that the opposite if this was true?
That's never a good answer.
I think it is, especially since he said almost exactly the same thing that I did in my first post in this thread. Right down to the "swallow (his) pride for a while" thing.
He also pointed out that Ica's dad was a douche, and being willfully ignorant of that was a bad idea.
Not seeing how it's a clone of your post.
See, that's that part that's irrelevant. We know his dad was unreasonable, and most importantly, Icalasari knows it.
But the point is that it's not a good idea to keep doing the 'His dad's a douche and is unfair, what a dick' because all that does is make greater the potential for another trainwreck. After all, we all know that it's oftentimes harder to swallow your pride/not 'slip up' when you're convinced you're being put upon by an unfair asshole abusing his power.
So...do you propose an alternative way of looking at this? It's kind of hard not to see his dad as a douche, from what we know about him.
Sure. Swallowing that and trying not to let it influence him, because otherwise Ica's life is going to get even tougher.
How does that entail becoming willfully ignorant of how unfair his dad's being?
I agree that he definitely shouldn't act on it as it'll only worsen the situation, but I don't like the idea of becoming ignorant to his dad's unfairness, simply because I don't think it's a good idea to be ignorant of anything in general.
It doesn't and you should please stop misinterpreting what people are saying.
Oh yeah, his dad is totally douchey. The thing is, he gave Icalasari an ultimatum; to either shape up or ship out.
Speaking from experience, (Again, I was in this exact situation a few short months ago) I think the best thing to do is to accept that he was wronged, look past it, and try to reason with his father, or placate him by simply playing by his rules for a time.
Also, it would probably be a good idea to cut back on some of the things he mentioned doing before he edited his posts.
No one is saying he should do this (it's probably impossible at this point). They're just saying to put it out of his mind until he can get out of this situation. Which isn't the same thing as being ignorant.
Oh, I see.
I have ranted a few times. My big list is on my old phone. Eg he thinks kids should be treated like dogs. Yeah, that's... That's excellent parenting. I still have suspicions of where my tendency to flinch if somebody moves too quickly near me comes from
Insanity Addict: No nest eggs (every time I plan to move out or go see my gf, my financial situation goes crap. So yeah this was not well timed...). Friends can't put me up - it violates their lease. So far it's gone from completely and totally prepared to, "fffffuuuuuuuuuuck". When it rains, it pours
Deliberately so. I was including your first post in my answer. You called on him to swallow down his pride permanently. I said he only need to do so temporarily.
Where did you see the word "permanently?" And how could you have seen it when the phrase "one night" follows it immediately after?
Face facts-- nobody's telling him to become a eunuch and prostrate himself, and everyone here's pretty much saying the same thing. You don't need to try reading into things that aren't there.
Sounds harsh. Perhaps having scripts ready to exit from conversations would help if you're forced to interact with the guy?
I know I keep linkspamming this shit every time a problem shows up, but the website in question has helped me a lot with a myriad of social flubs:
http://captainawkward.com/tag/social-interactions-2/
Sorry, Ica. I hope everything turns out better.