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-UE
im sorry
im sorry im sorry im sorry
Comments
Also, I've been where you are now, a few months ago, and ended up homeless for a while as a result. The trick is to swallow your pride. One night, walk up to your father and hug him without saying a single word. Tell him you appreciate everything he's done for you.
Don't listen to anyone that tells you to make some sort of 'final stand' against him.
Just focus on ending the conflict before something bad happens to you.
I will tell you know, I'm doing a class project on homelessness in Calgary and let me tell you homeless shelters are stuffed 24/7, and they even if you find one they can only keep you for a few weeks at best. A lot of people come from all over Canada and other countries to try to find a new life, and some are unsuccessful. That said, I don't really have any advice for dealing with your father, and I don't think you're in a position where you can question exactly why he's always angry, at least not yet.
I don't really know how to help with your father issues, partially (mostly?) because I'm not good at dealing with mine either but... um, don't you have any plan besides living on the streets? Even crashing somebody's couch or something sounds like a better idea.
Whatever the deal is, good luck. Seriously.
Good luck with all this, Ica.
i want to redem myslef
Really, dude?
^^ I dunno whether to reprimand that as tactless or congratulate you for still remembering hermanpowers.
Man I didn't remember until now.
Me neither.
However,I don't think it's very cool to deride someone who isn't having a very good home life, even jokingly.
*slaps forehead*
I thought I was making fun of tnu, actually, I forgot about that guy who I assumed was tnu's sockpuppet.
I only remembered him because of his stupid Sonic fancharacter avatar.
For whatever it's worth, I didn't notice this was an actual thread, I saw the edited OP and post, glazed over what the other guys said and assumed it was all shitposting of some sort.
Oh, I see.
Ah, yeah, that'd do it. The unedited one was actually a really serious thing.
Man, this is totally fucking unfair.
You aren't alone, Icalasari. I know all too well the pain of being victimized by a douchebag who gets away with it.
Do you have an exit strategy just in case? Nest eggs, bros who have a place prepped in case the whole shebang explodes, a packed bag with copies of handy documentation, etc.?
Whatever you do, try to make peace with him, and try to work through this in a healthy way. Having an attitude like the poster two posts up from me is unhealthy, and likely to make things worse.
^^ This. This is most likely important.
What? I'm not encouraging him to lash out at his dad: I'm just saying that his dad sounds like a douche and is in all probability likely to get away with it.
But harboring resentment will only lead to negative feelings towards the situation, which will only worsen it given the sound of Icalasari's father.
I know what you're saying.
What I'm saying is, it's not conducive to his well-being to be thinking of his dad as an unfair, vindictive douche instead of someone who needs to be reasoned with in order to ensure the happiness of everyone involved.
In other words, I'm saying it'd be a good idea to not reinforce the notion that his father is a douche who's 'getting away with anything'.
Well.
This really blows.
Man, I can't foresee any sort of reasonably good ending to this. I am just pissed because I consider Ica one of my friends and I really hate to see him suffer.
So what you say is t hat he should delude himself into thinking something else? I don't know if this is a healthy approach.
Eh, I think Icalasari's daily life experiences will have a much greater impact on what he thinks than the notions of some people on the net he most likely has never seen in person. So either way, the facts will speak for themselves.
Now, of course he somehow needs to pass the next months. But it's just that: He "only" needs to do that. Permanent peace is not required. Just a truce, so to speak. Swallowing his pride and being demure for some months, not out of conviction, but strategy. That's how I see it. It's important that there isn't another incident, but that doesn't mean Icalasari has to delude himself about what's happening, or that he has to swallow up his pride forever.
I don't think you read my posts very well, Octo.
having certain sentiments about a person=/=acting on said sentiments. I don't know enough of the situation to know whether it's verbal/psychological abuse(however lite), but gaslighting yourself if someone is displaying such behaviour is never a wise plan. The art of conflict-defusing is wholly separate from how you honestly feel about someone.