Avengers Vs. X-men

Malkavian

I apologize ahead of time.

(To ‘La Resistance’)

Cyclops: 

God has smiled upon us this day.

The fate of the mutants in our hands 

And blessed be the phoenix

who nukes entire planets

until only main characters stand

You see the Phoenix Force

which will possess the mutant Hope

We say it’s the messiah

but the Avengers just say nope.

And when the Marvel verse 

is once again forever changed

The mutant race always lives on!

You may get stabbed in the head 

by Hawkeye or Wolverine 

Repulsored till you’re dead

or murdered in a two-page spread

But when they fight with you

you will feel no need to run

Though you die, the mutant race shall live on!

Captain America:

Blame Quesada! Blame Quesada!

Because the movies made lots of cash

with the x-men we must thrash!

Avengers Academy:

After this event!

Our book is done!

After this event!

We need to run! 

A cancellation!

For more wolverine!

After this event!

Hope:

With the Phoenix force I’d be A-tier

and it’s me that the Avengers  fear

for they say that world is doomed

for Pheonix force is coming soon!

Deadpool:

SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE CHIMICHANGA!

CAP’S SO OUT OF CHARACTER I WANT A CHIMICHANGA!

AS WRITERS TRY TO PASS THE BUCK

IT’S CLEAR THAT THIS STORYLINE IS FUCKED!

Spider-man:

Why did the Avengers start this war?

What the fuck are we fighting for?

When did this event become a musical?

Thor:

I’m barely in this thing!

Iron Man:

When this event has taken the piss

there’ll be no more Brian Michael Bendis!

The Phoenix Five:

We may take away your rights 

and throw you in a cave.

We’ll solve world hunger in Africa

and then people will rage.

and though in the end we’re right, we’ll lose

and Scott will be enslaved

But that’s the way it goes, in events fans are shat upon

though sales will die…

Hope:

I WANT TO BEEEE… PHOE… NIIIIX!

Cylcops:

The Mutant Race Shall…. Live ON!

Avengers Academy:

After this event!

Avengers:

BLAME QUESADA! BLAME QUESADA!

TheConductor

I think I'm in love with you.

vandro

So, is Bendis a good or bad writer?

TheConductor

He's good at character focused stuff like Ultimate Spider-Man. He's bad at big events and huge rosters, like Avengers. 

Alkthash

Give him street level stuff focused on a single character, like Spider-man and Daredevil and he is fine. Give him a team book or big world shaking stuff and he is throw the book out the window bad.



Malk - do you take requests? If so can you Weird Al Flashpoint next?