So...I'm Back

TheConductor · 2012-07-13 19:12:49

So a misguided status update that many of you may have read will have informed you that I tried to kill myself. First of all: Thank you all for the concern you expressed, it means a lot. I feel I owe and explanation and an apology for any worry I may have caused.

Oh Christ, where to start?

My mum got back together with her husband, my step-dad. Only a few weeks later she enters a relationship with another man, behind her husband's back. I advise her against it because it's morally wrong but inform her that her on again-off again relationship with her husband and any drama that ensues doesn't interest me, it's happened so many times now that I can't bring myself to care anymore. She then goes on to delude and lie to herself to validate the extramarital relationship, not realising that no one else in the family cares. Anyway, step-dad finds out and leaves her. Her boyfriend then moves into the house and precedes to do everything that she claimed she hated about her husband. He's controlling, he's an alcoholic, he expects mum to watch his kids every weekend. In any case, it just doesn't affect me and I can't bring myself to care about the frankly pathetic teenage drama.

Then things get bad.

Mum announces that she and her boyfriend intend to get a flat together, when asked what will happen to my teenage sister and infant brother (not too fussed about myself, I am an adult, I can cope) she said, simply "I don't know. They'll need to find a new place to live". Given that me and my sister's father lives in a tiny, one bedroom flat that is an utter shit hole (honestly, I've been there twice in the last three months and the same yogurt pot has been lying next to the TV) and my brother's dad is an emotionally abusive alcoholic and we don't really have any other family, you can see the problem.

I sold a few of my rarer comics and sent my sister and brother to England, to stay with our grandfather for a few weeks. Not a good permanent solution as he and his wife already takes care of our cousin full time, but it's a safe enough place to keep them while I drift between friend's homes and try to sort out benefits and new housing arrangements, because through my mothers selfish actions I have essentially become a father of two.

In any case, it has not been easy. Hell, it's been downright difficult, in the end I snapped under the pressure of it all, I couldn't take it. I swallowed a LOT of pain killers and ended up in hospital. Of course, my mum found out fairly quickly and more or less forced me to come live with her until I was "better" again. I left as soon as possible and am now back to finding a new home for me, my baby brother and my sister who I don't really get along with.

And that's what happened. I thank ALL of you, for your kind comments and support and I can't apologise enough for causing any worry to my fellow forumers, I know this place isn't a diary for my personal life!

MillerCross · 2012-07-13 19:16:54

I know it's not much but I do hope you get it sorted out for your sake and the sake of your family.

Forzare · 2012-07-13 19:19:33

I can't even begin to imagine how hard this shit must be for you.

I hope every works out as well as it can for you and your family in the end.

ClockworkUniverse · 2012-07-13 19:21:43

...wow.

I really hope things improve for you and your family.

Kraken · 2012-07-13 19:26:31

I hope things get better.

MadassAlex · 2012-07-13 19:49:02

Godspeed, Conductor. That's too much weight for someone so young to bear, but it's amazing that you're rising to the task. I can't blame you for the suicide attempt, especially since you've already done so much to make things right. This isn't fair on you at all, but hard times make for strong people. Suicide attempt aside, you've made yourself a great example to all of us.

Be well, as much as you can, and don't look too harshly on your mistakes. It's clear to me that you're doing the best you can. All respect, good wishes, prayers and salutes to you. I cannot adequately express in words how strong you're being. I don't envy your situation at all, but I think I could stand to be more like you at times.

Icalasari · 2012-07-13 19:51:50

Do... Do you need a hug?

Crimson · 2012-07-13 20:05:46

Jesus Christ that is some heavy stuff.

I know internet sympathy doesn't mean much, but I really, sincerely, wish that you can get through this.

ninjaclown · 2012-07-13 20:23:01

I WILL SEND YOU MONEY as soon as I start earning some, and if you are truly desperate. I just got a job that pays decent in a shitty, recessive economy.