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People thinking that sweat is sexy

BobBob
edited 2011-05-10 23:41:39 in Meatspace
Or at least people thinking a woman sweating is sexy. It totally sucks when I'm in the corner of my room fanning myself off and all I want to do is get completely naked, but I can't because you're looking right at me, and I start getting nervous but I can't say that out loud because it'll be rude, and I start to wonder just what you're thinking and just when I finally convince myself that your thoughts are totally harmless and not perverted, you have to go and confirm my suspicions by telling me just how sexy I am while drenched in sweat.

As if that's not bad enough,  I hate it when suddenly I get paranoid and start freaking out and wondering if you can see my nipples through my tank top, which is kind of unlikely considering it's pitch black but probably not impossible so I make up a dumb excuse to go to the bathroom and stare at my tits in the mirror and I don't know what to do because I've told you a million times before that I won't, nor will I ever have sex with you, be it at my place or yours, on my bed or that weird, half-empty bean bag chair you have, and seriously, why do you even still have that thing? It's like, a decade old and it has stains on it. How the hell do you even get stains on a bean bag chair? I mean, WTF? Dude, just dump it already, please.

And it's not like I'm saying this because I don't like you, because if I didn't, we obviously still wouldn't be friends, and I appreciate you and all, but it's never going to happen. One, you're like a brother to me. Two, I'm taken. Three, remember that time in middle school when you shoved your finger right up your nose during lunch? Yeah. It's not you, I mean, you're cool and all and you're handsome, but, nah, just not gonna happen.

And stop staring at my tits or I'll have to start charging.
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