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-UE
I want to be fat vs. I want to have lung cancer: A Battle Between Blacklungs and The Fatness
Here is a list of compiled information:
- There is an age limit to the time you can purchase cigarettes, but there is no age limit to how soon you are allowed to be fat. What the fuck is this shit?
- A common fallacy to use is "Being fat doesn't hurt other people, but cigarettes do", and that is a fucking lie, because when you die, and you are fat, people have to PICK YOU UP, which is going to hurt them. When you are in a public transportation crash, and you land on a baby, you are going to kill it faster than a man with a cigarette is going to.
- More murderers are casual smokers, and more child rapists are fat. If there is a fat smoker, he is probably a child rapist and a murderer.
- Under-arm Fat and Lung Tar weigh the same thing, but both taste like shit.
- Cholesterol was named after a fat man in Olivia, Washington.
- People with cigarettes, who no longer have cigarettes, are fucking assholes, or poor. People with fat, who no longer have fat, are happy with themselves and rich.
Comments
Medium like?
Likedislike?
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(They are a nice change of pace from Jamishes, though)
I read it over and over again but can never relate to what I actually wrote. It's like I didn't even say it.
Holy shit.
Viani you fat fuck
Wait wait wait..... HOLD ON...
You gotta keep the distinction between Rudge-Fat and Gibley-Fat. This is vitally important.
I personally tend to find Rudge-Fat to be more acceptable than Gibley-Fat for aesthetic purposes... but ultimately... the test is this.
Imagine a particular fat person.
Imagine pushing that fat person out of a helicopter... (after you've got it away from the magpies, that is).
Do you imagine them bouncing.... or going splat?
Rudge-Fat is bouncy like rubber. People with Rudge-Fat are typically round and if you push them over you can roll them down hills and stuff.
Gibley-Fat on the other hand is soft. People with Gibley-Fat are typically covered in rolls and seem to melt into the form of whatever they're placed on. You can hide things under the fat rolls of people with Gibley-fat.
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT...
(Note: I based the names on two teachers I had back in high school. No prizes for guessing what they looked like respectively.)
That is how you know my picture is that of a Dire Badger: it is looking at you.
It can see you.
It will find you.
There is no escape.
American badgers are but pseudobadgers. They lack the capacity for direness, despite their best efforts.
@Cygan : That one is just playing dead to fool the stupid humans in their stupid car. The next picture several seconds later shows the badger shuffling away with a big explosion in the background that used to be that red car.
Possums mimic badgers in the hopes that it will make them more badass.
The term "badass" is officially derived from "Badger".... I officially retconned that to be true... and official.
Anyway... wasn't I lecturing you guys on the importance of the difference between Rudge-Fat and Gibley-Fat?