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I have the night creeps.
2011-11-08 12:05:20
edited 2011-11-08 12:05:20 in General
One foot in front of the other, every day.
So I'm up at 5am because of hayfever making the interior of my mouth itchy, on my computer in the dark, and I catch a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye. It's in the shape of some terrible monster -- because my imagination makes it that way. And then I can't help but develop the image in my head. White, pallid skin. Hunched back atop a muscular, white body. Red serpent eyes, and a leering, grinning mouth, with a cord-like tongue that extends out to test the air. Its body shivers and spasms with the excitement of an imminent kill.
Fuck my imagination.
Fuck my imagination.
Comments
You know what you must do.
In any case, my only sword is blunt because
- I need it to be.
- I can't afford more right now.
So if I was attacked by some horrible thing, it'd be about as good as a steel club. Which gives me a fighting chance, I suppose, but I don't like the odds. x_x
I know the feeling, Alex. Not so long ago I walked into my own living room and got startled by a coat hanging on the back of a chair glimpsed out of the corner of my eye.
I've also had dreams that something scary was sitting on top of me in bed and woken up gasping for breath. I suppose experiences like these are how stories about ghosts and demons start out, made more colourful in each re-telling.
Story of my life. Except I'm eternally watched and harassed by 8ft aliens and demon-forms instead. Scary shit. My imagination loves torturing me with something worse than Lovecraftian horror.
This is pretty close to sleep paralysis, which I've had. Terrifying the first time around, but once I had identified it, it was actually pretty cool to observe.
What sort of exacerbates this for me is that I, of course, want strange creatures and monsters to be real. Just not while I'm in my dressing gown, my sword blunt and out of reach while I have hayfever. <_<
I mean, why did the sword come to me? Did I earn it? If so, how? Or is it cursed, and must be accepted willingly? We all know the stories -- you never just get a magic sword. There's always a catch, somehow.
Nothing?
I think the monster's gone, at least until nightfall. I shall use the day to prepare myself for the battle ahead.
So I kind of know that feel bro.
Huh, that's an interesting catch. If chasteness refers to literal sex, then I'm fine -- instances of that are few and far between for me -- but if it's masturbation, that sword's never gonna see any use. xD
Anyway, I haven't been scared of the dark since I was younger, but I do get a little more wary walking around certain parts of the city at night, and I know there are predators like coyotes that can end up in your backyard back where my family lives, so I'm more cautious at night there too.
But I don't think that even when I was a kid that my mind created much in the way of phantoms for me. I had a hard time understanding where the fear of monsters under beds or in closets so often mentioned in popular culture came from.
Though, more realistic but still unlikely scenarios have played out in my head. I sometimes lay in bed thinking about what I would do if someone broke in. Walking next to traffic or over a bridge, I wonder if I could survive if someone tackled me. Sometimes when I get a call from family, I mentally prepare myself for news of a death. I wonder if the day will ever come when my inhibitions and morality break down and I assault someone out of the blue on a whim.
But then, my imagination isn't especially vivid as far as I know.
Guns, being mostly illegal in this country, are much less practical than a sword through context. Although in context of gribbly monsters, I'd want a sword anyway; its physical resistance gives me something of a limited shield, too, and Gribbly might end up cutting himself trying to get me.
You could always just keep a wood axe or something next to your bed. Gribblies aren't generally coordinated enough to dodge a swing.
^ An animal is sort of a tangible thing, though. A bear would be a pretty frightening adversary, but something like a wolf? Well, two of the four basic guard positions are cover positions that would defend well against any animal pounce, and the German style promotes striking in such a way as to create a barrier between oneself and one's adversary anyway. I don't think there are many animals that could best a swordsman. Steel's better than flesh, after all, especially when it's sharp.
Apparently you people are taking my suggestions to actually sleep with an axe by your bed as a serious one.
This is false.
Apparently you people are taking my suggestions to actually sleep with an axe by your bed as a serious one.
Couldn't hurt. I have one easily accessible elsewhere... but I don't know what good it would do. These things are kinda... able to kill/disable/torture you with one fell strike. The axe would have no room to swing.