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Comments

  • Every album review than doesn't discuss it song-by-song is silly anyway.

  • I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    I had never even seen a shooting star before. 25 years of rotations, passes through comets' paths, and travel, and to my memory I had never witnessed burning debris scratch across the night sky. Radiohead were hunched over their instruments.

  • We Played Some Open Chords and Rejoiced, For the Earth Had Circled the Sun Yet Another Year

    At first I was going to write some long post saying that criticizing things for being poppy isn't necessarily a bad thing, but god this guy is such a purist pile of crap

  • Child of Darkness

    As soon as I saw the source, I knew what I was going to find.  "Underground good, pop bad, thus bad!"

  • edited 2012-02-28 18:27:42

    >God forbid catchy hardcore (or post-hardcore, or whatever they are, whatever it means) be allowed to exist, and God forbid men sing an octave or two higher than usual.


    Coheed and Cambria...?


    >reads it


    Oh.

  • Has friends besides tanks now
    The vocalist does sound remarkably similar to Claudio Sanchez. Except he's in a -core band, instead of prog rock.
  • Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day.

    This is why I pretty much never read music reviews, and taste in music is like the most subjective thing ever anyway.


    And I thought that it was going to be about Coheed & Cambria before I clicked the link, too.


    (says the guy with the C&C avatar)

  • You can change. You can.

    This is why I pretty much never read music reviews, and taste in music is like the most subjective thing ever anyway.



    Taste in anything is subjective, mate. :p

  • edited 2012-02-28 20:27:17
    Has friends besides tanks now

    Eh. It's kinda cool seeing how well-received bands I like are.


    For the record, this is what they sound like:



    The lyrics are pretty predictable, and they do the stupid -core witty song title thing, but they're nice to listen to, even if their only saving grace is Kellin Quinn. Plus, this is off their debut album, so they'll probably develop quite nicely.

  • I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    It does help gauge whether you'll enjoy an album, though. 

  • I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    Oh god this is the greatest album review ever. Guess the album, seriously.


    Much like ex-Pavement frontman Stephen Malkmus, former ____________________ lead singer _____ ________ faces the daunting task of detaching himself from the large shadow his juggernaut band cast over the indie rock community. Free from the democratic constraints the Plan imposed upon him, ________ presents a far more eclectic side of himself than seen on any record prior, and the results were heavily foreshadowed via mp3s on his website during __________'s production phase. Nevertheless, ____ loyalists are almost guaranteed to scrutinize this album from start to finish, deconstructing it on a microscopic level with a magnifying glass to find any possible reason to complain why ________ and company called it a day far too soon. The immediate thing that comes through on ________ that was missing on some of the ____ records is that ________ sounds like he's having fun experimenting with new sounds and textures (check the Joe Jackson-esque piano playing on "____________") and not brooding so often. Combined with the added relief of starting clean on a new label with a new backing band (including ______________) and the freedom to produce without the pressures of making it better than a ________________ record, it's instantaneously notable. "_________________," a folksy series of political interludes sprinkled throughout (which could get tiresome to a few people, but that's what fast-forward buttons were made for), and "___________," which re-creates a live setting with quirky little jabs (and a melodic homage to fellow D.C. residents Fugazi during the breakdown), let the audience know that __________ is well aware of the pressures and expectations of a solo record. One audience member even slyly asks "Think they'll play '________'?," a reference to one of the ____'s well-loved songs. But it's not without fault to say these songs could have been on the next ____ album. The signature video game noises and analog synths are still anchors of the song arrangements, and the inclusion of more electronic-based production only further reinforces the idea that ________ is just as versatile behind a mixing board and sampler as he is behind a guitar and a vocal mike. __________'s lyrics have always been a strong element of the ____'s popularity, and here he has never been more creative in his song subjects. A dark and philosophical muse on the mortality of life ("__________") is followed by a wish for caged zoo animals to rebel against their captors in rather violent ways ("_________________"). There are also two beautiful moments of quiet introspection in "_____________" and "___________," and the closest thing to a Ben Gibbard homage with the final, untitled track. Make no bones about it, ________ is challenging expectations and listeners by stretching his musical boundaries and defying people to come along for the ride through close listening. And those who loved the ____ for the original angle they brought to a near soulless genre will be pleasantly surprised that ________ is holding his own and staying true to himself.

  • My answer to guess the review is Allmusic's review of Travis Morrison's Album Travistan.

  • I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    Wow, so not only is the review completely terrible, but iTunes plagiarized it from Allmusic? Simply astounding.

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