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Was I in the wrong here?
So, mom posted this to her Facebook.
"SO happy!! Shawn got accepted to Susquehanna and is requested to be in their Honors Program-SO very proud!!"
It got liked by a bunch of her friends, and I was kind of embarrassed. Eventually, I responded with:
"I would still appreciate it if you didn't go posting the events of my life so openly like this, no offense meant."
She responded:
"I have the right to brag, I'm your mom. Deal with it."
And of course, her friends are backing her on this and spouting sentimental parent stuff. And mom's upset now. What do?
Comments
Conceptually you were in the right, but that honestly is pretty much mother stuff. Remember that parents seek the approval of their children, especially as their children grow into adulthood.
The thing is, she knows that I'm easily embarrassed by stuff like that, so if she really wanted my approval, she would have kept her congratulations to people she talked to in person.
Then again, she also has a habit of posting about how awesome I did at swim meets, and stuff. It's kind of irritating; she dotes on me and gets all her friends in on things, but when I tell her I want privacy, I'm in the wrong, and she's the one who gets to sulk? And yes, she's giving me the silent treatment over this. I've already apologized, so if she's still gonna be mad about it, I can play the quiet game, too.
I'd say it's not a matter of right and wrong but a matter of accepting that mothers kinda want to be proud of their children, so I'd say, suck up to her.
Your mother sounds like she's being unreasonable, but from her perspective, her children are the bestest best things to ever best. She'll take pride in your accomplishments, so shooting down her announcement robs her of that parental validation. Even though her being annoyed isn't that rational, in a strict sense, I definitely see why she is.
Parent's gonna parent, dude.
^^ That's usually how these things end. But I don't mind that she's proud of me; I just don't really want her broadcasting it to parties that I consider irrelevant. I'm too tired of her embarrassing me to feel sorry.
^ I know. If she doesn't say anything else to me by the end of the night, I guess I'll have to apologize (again? Can't remember if I already did or not). Also, seeing her friends' comments to the effect of "you'll be a dad one day, and you'll be proud of your child, too" only validates my own desire not to have any children.
But the broadcasting is what makes it parental.
Like I said. Parent's gonna parent. They like to broadcast the success of their offspring to other parents. It's just an entirely normal social behaviour for them. And I do understand why you're annoyed, but it pays to see it from the other perspective as well.
I see it from the other perspective; I just think that perspective is stupid. Nothing wrong with having a humble kid.
Parents are like cats.
I mean, you don't really blame a cat for jumping up on a table and knocking a cup of pens down, do you? It's just shit that happens when cats are around. And parents do their own dumb stuff they can't really help because parents. They will do shit you will never understand, and if you are ever a parent, you will do that shit also. And not understand that you are doing it.
Parents.
Bah, humbug.
^^ No, but training them in basic social graces is a necessity. :>
>Having your parents on Facebook
There's your problem.
When you say you responded to her, do you mean on Facebook? If so, I think it might have been better to talk to her about it. She might have been less defensive.
Otherwise, I think Alex is right. Your mother should respect your right to privacy, but being your mother, she probably never will. It goes with not ever being quite accepted as an adult by your parents, which most people get, even if they're 55 years old, have their own kids and run major corporations or something.
Everest,
I see it from the other perspective; I just think that perspective is stupid. Nothing wrong with having a humble kid.
Aye, I definitely agree about that, but I think the issue is more that most people see a difference between bragging about themselves and bragging about their friends and close family members. I feel like people tend to see the former as arrogant and the latter as being friendly or respectful.
In any event, I am with you about keeping accomplishments to yourself. I think you are in the right here, but it is probably worth it to just downplay things to not make the situation worse.
Well, you're in the right, but I can definitely understand her. Mothers can be like that. All in all, I don't think you should have made that comment public.
I initially told her that I was embarrassed in person, but I remained annoyed long enough to get the idea to post my disapproval where her friends could see it, too. Whole lot of good that did.
We talked it out just now, and we've decided that I'll just have to deal with it. It's really not worth putting up a fight when she gets upset so easily by how easily embarrassed I am. Her argument is still founded entirely on emotion, but I overreacted in any case.