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Motorola Xoom

CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
edited 2012-02-17 11:20:24 in Meatspace
I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

Hell yeah, look out iPad! We just won Best at CES 2011 and we're here to take your place as the tablet of choice! We have a MicroSD card slot, Flash, and 4G LTE!


*ships two months before thinner, faster, better-looking, more powerful iPad 2 with twice as much better battery life*


*Wi-Fi only version not available until months after launch*


*Three different size types to confuse consumers*


*Using a buggy, crash-prone, and outdated version of Android built for phones, not tablets, with a terrible and unintuitive UI*


*MicroSD card slot, which is not even used for cameras, unavailable until software update months later*


*Adobe Flash not available until software update months later* 


*4G LTE not available until you physically mail in your Xoom to Motorola to have them install the proper hardware over 6 business days*


Wow look at all the people still using the iPad 2 as opposed to our superior tablet, I guess they're just all hipsters and morons drinking the Kool-Aid due to CRAPple's marketing, what sheep

Comments

  • IcalasariIcalasari
    No rainbow star
    I'm not entirely sure, but I THINK you may be being sarcastic
  • CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
    I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    No, I am not. In fact I think that the CES Best In Show 2011 prize (without any way to use it whatsoever) should justify a $1000 price tag; after all, tech blogs have never been wrong about predicting Apple's death knells and have never jumped on a product's bandwagon in order to bash another company before. They are all written by Jesus and his clones. This is why Steve Jobs died; he couldn't handle the pressure of constantly trying to keep up the voodoo magic machines that power the iPhone.

  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    edited 2012-02-17 20:21:08
    (void)

    I don't understand why people want tablets in the first place, really.  Maybe it's because most of the things I do on a computer are pretty keyboard-intensive.

  • NovaNova
    If you must eat a phoenix, boil it, do not roast it. This only encourages their mischievous habits.

    More portable than laptops

  • CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
    edited 2012-02-17 20:38:14
    I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    It's for the people that want a more portable phone-laptop hybrid.


    Or morons because aside from the iPad there is not a single good tablet I can think of off the top of my head.


    e: actually that HP tablet isn't too bad 

  • NyktosNyktos
    a little muffled

    > iPad
    > good

  • MillerCrossMillerCross
    You can change. You can.

    My dad's pretty happy with his Samsung Galaxy tablet. Then again, my dad's happy with any piece of tech

  • CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
    I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    > iPad
    > good


    It is! Thank you for agreeing with me.


    My dad's pretty happy with his Samsung Galaxy tablet. Then again, my dad's happy with any piece of tech


    The Galaxy is less bad than many other tablets but it's still pretty bad (and worse than the HP Touchpad or iPad)

  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)

    I think Nyktos merely forgot a >laughinggirls.ocx

  • SaigyoujiSaigyouji
    But you never had any to begin with.

    But would you buy a iPad every month if it would save your life? /obligatory

  • PonicalicaPonicalica
    (void)

    How would an iPad every month save my life?

  • CountryPumpkinCountryPumpkin
    I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.

    Keeps your i from falling out, of course!

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